(Closed) SO is finally meeting my dad

posted 7 years ago in Long Distance Relationships
Post # 3
Member
296 posts
Helper bee

The first family member that my boyfriend met was my brother; my brother and I actually live together, so James met Peter on the same night that he met me. (We were set up by a friend of mine, who invited him to come hang out with several people at my place; she thought he would be perfect for me, but I was skeptical, hehe.) The next day, James took me out to lunch at a deli near my place, and so I invited him in to my apartment for a bit. I re-introduced him to my brother, and I think Peter was just thinking, “who is this guy and why does he keep showing up here?” However, James continued to come over for get-togethers, and just to watch movies and whatever, and unlike all of my past boyfriends, James really made an effort to get to know my brother, and so they are friends now. =]

Of my parents, my boyfriend met my mom first, and she was very impressed by him. She liked that he is conversational, and she said that he is very good-looking. Although, my mom is the type of person that sees the best in everyone, especially somebody that I’ve deemed good enough to date (even though my taste in guys was a bit dubious in early high school, haha). The real test would be my dad, for whom no one is ever good enough for his baby girl. 

James met my dad (and also my sister) when my whole family decided to go see a play that my brother was starring in. At this point, James and I had been dating for about 4 months. We all went out to a pub afterwards, and I purposely sat James across from my dad. They ended up totally bonding over the fact that both of them work in trading! My dad also asked about James’ family and education, and I think was very impressed with his ambitions and the fact that he respects and places a big emphasis on family. At the end of the night, my dad shook James’ hand and said, “It was delightful to meet you.” My jaw dropped, because he has NEVER been so approving toward anyone that I’ve dated before! 

Now my boyfriend is originally from Hong Kong, so even though he and I live in the same city, his family is overseas.

I met his dad when he came to Chicago for a business trip. The three of us went out to dinner, and I was so nervous that I was shaking the whole time! However, I guess his dad approved of me, and said that I was pretty. 

Then, when James got his master’s degree, his whole family (dad, mom, and older brother) came from HK to attend the graduation. I went with them, and got to meet them. At this point, James and I had been dating for 9 months. His mom does not speak very much English, so our communication was limited, but she was pleasant toward me, and I think she liked me. His brother was pretty cool, and we got to chat for awhile, so I think he got more of a taste of my “fun” side. 

Then the night after his graduation, my family hosted James’ family at my parents’ house for dinner. Everyone got along, and James reported that his parents said that I have a nice family, and they were also glad that I was well-educated and well-traveled. But of course they would prefer if I was Chinese. Ah well, I’m not, so they just have to deal with it, lol.

But that’s how ALL the parent meetings went, in case you were curious. My bf and I have been dating for about 21 months now, but are not getting engaged soon. James spends a lot of time around my family, so he knows that they interact well and have great dynamics (he has now also met one set of grandparents, as well), but I haven’t seen his family in a year, and have not met any of his extended family. One thing that he wants to figure out before getting engaged is if his family will be accepting of me, and if I can be as comfortable around his family as he is around mine. However, we’re hoping that we will get the chance to travel to HK together sometime soon, in order to remedy that. 

I think if your bf is a nice and respectful person, then meeting your dad should go pretty smoothly! Even if your dad is a bit of a relationship “downer,” don’t let that scare you~ my dad was too, but things went well, and my dad still says how much he likes James. Plus, if your family is supportive, then they will appreciate the good qualities that you see in your guy! If you are dating someone that is responsible, independent, and driven, that really speaks for itself. So hopefully my good experiences will help calm some of your fears. Good luck with the meeting! Smile

Post # 4
Member
361 posts
Helper bee

My SO hasn’t met my family. And I haven’t met his. Yet. I’m scared LOL. 

Post # 6
Member
296 posts
Helper bee

@Sigyn: “but I really think deep down my dad likes him and will accept him (well that and he has no choice lol)” 

LOL!! yeah, that’s how I am with my dad, who always seems to find some imperfection with whoever I’m dating. I’m just like, “I’m dating this person. Deal with it.” 

And yes, both my bf and I live in Chicago! (Well, I actually live in a suburb, while bf lives in the city, but whatevs.. close enough, haha.) That’s cool that your bf lives here, and exciting that you’ll be moving here too! We should go on a double date or something when you get here! =]

Post # 7
Member
361 posts
Helper bee

@Sigyn: Yeah, I’m not looking forward to the meeting. But, at least in the big scheme it doesn’t matter. I’m 30 years old, and haven’t lived at home for 13 years. I see my dad about 3x per year, maybe 5 if I’m lucky, and I don’t give a crap what he thinks anyway. My mom only cares that I’m happy, so she won’t have an issue. 

Post # 9
Member
1271 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

the first of us to meet any of the other’s family was me meeting his brother, the day after our first face-to-face meeting.  his brother lives with him and i was in the area for the whole weekend, so we spent a couple of hours with his brother on day 2, and then had dinner with him on day 3 as well.

the first people from “my” family that FI met are my ILs…kinda a unique situation…when you’re widowed with a child, you have to keep your ILs, so i will be the lucky gal that gets two sets of ILs when we tie the knot.  *sigh*  yeah, anyway, it was a bit awkward, but the ILs had been planning the trip to come see DS (their grandson) since about a month before i met FI, and FI really wanted to come see me and happened to have a weekend when they’d be there, so i asked both parties and neither minded, so he came out for the weekend and met my ILs.  a little strange, but not too bad.

three weeks later, he met my mother.  he’d been planning to come out for my birthday from the beginning, and my mom kinda sprang her visit on me a week in advance.  that worked out pretty well considering too, especially since my mom was actually staying at the house with me (my ILs had a hotel room).

i’m driving out to see him this weekend, and will be meeting his parents for the first time.  i’m super nervous.  i’m terrified they’re going to think he can do better, since i’m loaded with baggage from being widowed and taking care of DS by myself from the beginning.  he keeps telling me not to worry about it though. 

after that, all that will be left is for him to meet my stepdad (really like a dad to me)…saving the worst for last i guess.  he’s nervous about it, and i’m trying to play it cool like he has nothing to worry about, but really my stepdad can be a real hardass about this stuff.  he loved DH1 by the time we got married, but it took him 3 years just to warm up to him.  he STILL doesn’t like my BIL (sister’s husband) and they’ve been married for a year now, together for five or six…come to think of it, it was right around the time they started dating that he started warming up to DH1, lol.  winner by default.  maybe he’ll prefer FI to BIL as well, lol.

Post # 11
Member
334 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

We met while I was studying abroad. My parents came to visit me and my dad said he’d like to meet my new BF. So I asked my back then BF of not even two months whether he’d be cool with meeting my parents but it’s totally up to him. He said yes. We all went out to eat and things were nice but brief.

My parents had a chance to get to know him on a more personal basis when he stayed with us for Christmas. They like him well enough… especially considering we got engaged in May!

I met his parents when I visited him/ stayed with them last summer. I was a bit nervous because of religious differences, but everything turned out cool and I had a great time. I’ll be headed over to see FI in a couple of weeks and I couldn’t be more excited!

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