SO is freaking out, has anyone been there?

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1802 posts
Buzzing bee

I think it is pretty typical for someone to freak out right before a major life change. I’m not engaged yet, but my SO freaked out right before he graduated from college. We were together since the beginning of his senior year of high school, so I think he realized when he was about to graduate from college what a big deal that is. He calmed down within a week of graduating, and is fine now. I have had mini freak outs just like this when I graduated high school, when we moved out, etc. I think it’s common to think about what could happen when something big is taking place.

Post # 4
Member
2441 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

About a week before we got engaged (I didn’t know exactly when it would happen), my husband kept asking me if I could stand being with him forever and do I really want to be his wife. I think it’s pretty normal for guys to freak out over something so huge!

Post # 5
Member
468 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@kclRN:  I’m not saying this IS the case, I don’t like diagnosing people on the internet. What I do know is that when I’m in a more depressed state of mind, it usually shows itself with me being extra insecure and anxious.

Sometimes though, my FI and I will ask the “Do you think we’ll be together forever?” question, just to hear the other person say yes. Because, cheese and stuff. It’s not that we actually doubt it.

And then again, he’s about to make a big commitment! So he’s probably just got a lot of stuff going on in his head. A good relaxation could be all that he needs.

Post # 7
Member
1802 posts
Buzzing bee

@kclRN:  Yup, an engagement/marriage is a huge change. I think it’s sweet that he’s asking you if YOU think that you will be together for ever, etc. rather than saying he isn’t sure if you’ll be together forever. He probably just wants to be certain that your marriage will last, and maybe he’s also nervous as to whether or not you will say yes even if you have discussed everything.

Post # 8
Member
425 posts
Helper bee

Yeah, I think it’s normal to freak out. Just help reassure him, or talk through any concerns. There are a lot of topics and expectations to discuss beforehand. It sounds like you two already have great communication with each other. 

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