(Closed) SO is getting ticked off at me… (Long)

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1360 posts
Bumble bee

Pff. Men. Lol.

I honestly have no idea why he would act like this; he seriously could have been testing the waters on the timeline and had something planned, but when you just said “okay” it threw him off. I have NO idea. That’s just what it sounds like to me. FI asked me if I could wait a few more months/years and I was like, “Sure.” Then he started getting all snippy lol, and I finally figured it out and told him, “Actually, no. We had an original timeline, and I want to keep that timeline. I want to be engaged to you SOON.” And then he cheered up and proposed the next week. So. Just my experience 😉

Post # 4
Member
1780 posts
Buzzing bee

ugh, guys can be frusterating. they only thing I can think of is that ‘doing your own thing and having fun’ is being seen through his eyes as “I don’t need to marry you to live my life” which, though it is probably true, guys tend to get offended when they don’t feel needed. Is there any way that you could assure him that you DO want to marry him and you would prefer that it would be as soon as possible but that you are feeling so secure in your relationship that you don’t feel you need a ring to show each other love and that is why you are okay with postponing engagement. Not becuase you are sick of him or anything like that. 

Post # 6
Member
1004 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I agree, he was probably testing the waters to see how you would react if he proposed now… and then you threw it off by not being excited about the idea and being “too busy” (in his eyes, now) to commit.

Otherwise, why suggest engagement be delayed, then get annoyed that you have a special project to devot time to (especially if it’s not eating into your together time).

And guys says women don’t make sense.

Post # 7
Member
1471 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

wow you have been together for 10 years and he wants to wait another 2 to propose?  That sounds odd to me! you sure he is going to be ready to commit in 2 years?!  I would not be ok with that…..

Do you think he may have said to put it off for 2 more years to try and throw you off while he may be actually planning to propose soon?? and you said ok, so maybe he is confused now especially since you said you were engagment crazy at one point

just some things to think about….

Post # 8
Member
791 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

First of all here’s a huge GOOD FOR YOU!!! You are living your life, doing something important, and making your own decisions! I don’t think this is about “man-speak” at all.

Second, why does e get to decide your future??? Why would you give someone, even a man you love, that kind of power? You’ve been together 10 years! Even if you met as teens you’re old enough now to get married & have been together long enough to know if that’s what you want. Do you want children? If so, think about when you want that…if he can’t decide to marry you it could be impossible to get him to decide to want children.

Third, I don’t like his control thing about your fundraising venture. He should be super proud and supportive of you. He should be bragging about you to everyone and at your knee asking for your hand.

Maybe you are out-growing him. I think you should decide what you want wih your life and perhaps find a man who can’t wait to be with you…not one who can only wait to decide what he wants with you.

Good luck! You keep up your own life and interests…happiness will follow even in ways you don’t expect 🙂

Post # 10
Member
2778 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

My FI has two brothers.  They are trouble.  I have a brother, he is trouble.  I don’t know that is with that but whatever.  I’m glad you stayed true to yourself and that you are happy. 🙂

Post # 11
Member
1403 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@misscherrylimeade:  Sheesh, how ridiculous.  I’m glad that everything is working out for you guys, and I’m glad you’re putting things you enjoy first!  Your SO’s brother sounds like a piece of work.

Post # 12
Member
3423 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

SCORE ONE FOR YOU!!!!!

Post # 13
Member
513 posts
Busy bee

Why did he think his brother’s suggestion was a good idea? From what you said, the brother clearly came off as trying to stir the pot. But good for you, doing your own thing. 🙂

Post # 14
Member
1082 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I just want to say that you are amazing.

Good on you for holding your own and not living your life for a man!

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