- 5 years ago
- Wedding: August 2014
I’m sorry, I know this is long… just trying vent my feelings and looking for some support or advice. This post is not asking for your opinion on whether or not I should be more comfortable with him going to strip clubs or getting lapdances, and it’s not about whether or not I trust him. Just wanted to put that out there =).
So my SO goes fairly often with his big group of guy friends. A couple of years ago when he went he got a lapdance from a stripper and when he told me about it, I got really upset, but we worked through all of that a long time ago and he told me he would never get one again knowing now how much it upset me. I completely and 100% trust him, that’s not the issue here. We have a super trusting relationship, and we’ve been long distance for over a year with no trust issues coming up at all (which I know is usually so tough with LDR’s).
I told him a couple nights before he left on this trip that I was a little nervous about him going to strip clubs, honestly just because the idea bothers me. He doesn’t really like strip clubs, and most of his friends are in serious committed relationships and married, but the few single ones tend to drag them to strip clubs and I feel like none of the guys want to be honest about not wanting to go because they don’t want to look “whipped”, and sometimes that gets out of control when they are at the club and that’s when they start buying eachother lapdances, etc. Anyway, during the conversation, he told me I have nothing to worry about and he doubts they will even be going to any strip clubs, but I told him he is of course free to do whatever he wants and have a good time (other than get a lapdance, which we decided was off-limits together).
It’s not so much the idea of him being at a strip club that is bothering me right now. It’s that I am feeling very ignored and very lonely– I wouldn’t feel this way if he were just out with his friends drinking at a bar or club or something– but the fact that they are (probably) at a strip club and I am feeling so disconnected to him is hurting me. We ALWAYS text before we get on a plane and as soon as we land so the other knows we had a safe flight. He texted me before, but forgot to text me after. I called him when I thought he would be landing just to check in that he made it safely and his phone was on, but he didn’t pick up. He texted me later that he was sorry he forgot and that now he was drinking with his friends. I felt hurt that he just forgot about me like that… I know it sounds stupid and silly. And then, as crazy as this might seem, I honestly expected a drunk call late last night, or at least a couple of texts while he was out (he has always done this when he has been on Vegas trips in the past with his friends). So I stayed up late because I really expected that I would hear from him, but nothing. When I woke up, no texts or anything. It’s now 3 PM here, no texts. I know he is probably having fun with his friends, and in normal real life I never get upset about not hearing from him because I know he is busy, but it’s upsetting to me because I feel like he’s not even thinking about me or missing me, especially when he knows that I am a little insecure about Vegas trips.