Anyone with Kaiser Perminente?
more by ignatiangal
Seriously... ugg. VENT!
Raise your hand and repeat after me...
more in Weddingbee
What do you flag?
Who is this dress designer?
more in Boards
feeling dizzy

So Long and Thanks for all the fish!

posted 8 months ago in Weddingbee
  • 3 Members Subscribed To Topic
  •  
    1.
    Member
    94 posts
    Worker bee
    ignatiangal    September 4, 2011   Washington, DC

    I really enjoyed wedding bee at first, but lately the snark, the attacks from people and what appears arbatrary enforcing of the "no snark" rule among others from the mods is grating on my nerves. 

    My personal limit was Ms. Sloth, a bee, when I understood where @Ryn was coming from on her thread that was in bad taste (in my opinion). Basically called me out for saying I understood how Ryn could feel lied to. Sorry but I am a techie, and without seeing Ryn's stats I know that if you get x number of readers and you monitor your stats you will notice ANY new traffic, so yes, I can see where if there is no new traffic, she could feel lied to, that does not mean that she was nor that I am implying she is right, I am just saying from a tech point, she has a point.

    I don't agree with shutting down threads because they are critical of the mods, the members were calmly policing our own with Rys's thread there was no reason to kill the thread. 

    So congradulations, High School has been re-created. Honestly that is what the boards seem to be turning into. 

     
    2.
    Bee
    3,185 posts
    Sugar bee
    sloth    May 14, 2011   Philadelphia, PA

    I find it unfortunate that you decided to bring this to the public boards to vilify me after PMing me and not giving me a chance to respond. 

    I am a "techie" as well, I work with many web analytics platforms, some of which cost hundreds of thousands of dollars a year, and I was just explaining that there are ways in which some visits may not show up right away. I was not claiming that you said the selection committee were liars. However, I was resentful that the OP accused them of lying. Go back and read my comment if you like. I specifically said that I resented the post "as a whole," not your specific comment.

    I would've been more than happy to apologize for the misunderstanding in private. However, since you decided to call me out publicly, I will say publicly that I think you're being WAY too sensitive about this.

    Finally, for anyone else reading this, I hope that, whatever your opinions of my actions are, you don't hold them against Weddingbee as a whole. This should have just been between me and ignatiangal, not the entire boards.

     

     

     
    3.
    Member
    3,947 posts
    Honey bee
    bRooklynRocks      

    Just like Ryna's thread, the purpose of this thread eludes me. Is there something in the weddingbee water?

    ETA that I agree with the posts beneath mine. As to  @bells: you and I have been on this site long enough to have seen disappointed posts from ladies who applied to the bee and were rejected. Some were a bit mad but they skirted that line of showing disappointment, anger, sometimes a resolve to try again, sometimes an 'I don't care anymore, I won't reapply'. So I do agree that you can convey your disappointment but not in the way the other thread was done....ugh, can't believe I'm buying into this drama. Over and out folks :)

     
    4.
    Member
    3,395 posts
    Sugar bee
    soyjoy222    June 1, 2012   PA

    @ignatiangal: These kinds of threads are what starts unnecessary drama like what you described. It would have been better to PM Ms. Sloth and talk to her there. Why do it on a public board?

    I'm personally really getting sick of this cycle:

    Drama filled thread is written.

    Drama filled thread explodes with upset replies.

    Drama filled thread closed.

    Another user posts another drama filled thread to continue the crap posted in the previous, now closed, drama filled thread.

    Ugh. Can't we stop this?! I probably will regret posting this but I needed to let it out!

     
    5.
    Member
    8,947 posts
    Buzzing
    Beekeeper
    bells    June 26, 2011  

    I dont like this thread. I dont think threads shouldn't be started specifically to call out another bee. 

     BUT the one thing I will say with regard to the previous thread is that If someone applies to be a BEE and gets rejected I thnk they are allowed to vent about it. I dont understand why other successful blogger BEES feel the need to jump up and defend the honor of the selection process and thereby put the rejected BEE on the offensive. Why cant you just let her vent about it if it makes her feel better.

     
    6.
    Bee
    1,973 posts
    Buzzing bee
    maryjane    September 9, 2009   Grand Forks, ND

    I think anyone should be allowed to vent about anything they want, as long as they respect the rules of the community. I believe one of those rules has to do with personal attacks, and calling specific people--such as Mrs. Penguin or members of the selection committee--a liar does constitute a personal attack. That'd be my best guess as to why the other post was shut down, and that'd definitely be why other bees felt the need to jump in. There's a difference between venting and just being mean, ya know?

     
    7.
    Hostess
    10,923 posts
    Sugar
    Beekeeper
    bakerella    September 11, 2010   Toronto, ON

    @bells: I think there's a difference between venting that you're upset you didn't get chosen, and attacking the people who do the selecting (which as mentioned is a large volunteer group) calling them liars. If I were part of that group, I would have felt the need to defend myself as well. There are plenty of members here who applied and didn't get chosen, myself included, who didn't feel the need to attack the selection committee.

    @soyjoy222: Agreed.

     
    8.
    Member Icon
    Member
    3,108 posts
    Sugar bee
    MrsPinkPeony    June 4, 2011   Charleston, SC

    "So congradulations, High School has been re-created. Honestly that is what the boards seem to be turning into."

    And with posts like this you are keeping that vibe going. If you want to leave because of your own personal reasons by all means do it but please do not try to bash the entire site because you don't agree with it.

     

     
    9.
    Member
    747 posts
    Busy bee
    Ms.Pink    November 12, 2011   Tallahassee, FL

    So you're leaving because there is snark, AND because the Mods are trying to enforce a "no snark" rule? Kind of contradictory, and I don't think this thread was necessary.

     
    10.
    Hostess
    7,296 posts
    Busy
    Beekeeper
    Gemstone    July 2011   Cincinnati

    @bakerella: Agree completely! We all need to vent from time to time, for sure. And the whole community is here to support that, but it gets a little sticky when the venting attacks others in the community. But in terms of just venting, we have so many thread titles marked with "(Vent)" that I'd say lots of users find the boards as an effective outlet. :)

     
    11.
    Member
    94 posts
    Worker bee
    ignatiangal    September 4, 2011   Washington, DC

    It wasn't done to "pick on" anyone. It was an example of why I was at my limit. I was attacked by Ms. Sloath and honestly was PISSED about it given what has transpired on the boards recently. 

     

    And Sloth NEVER PM'd me. I am looking at messages right now. So please refrain from acting like you would have either you do or you do not do a thing, there is no "well I would have had you not been upset". 

     

    So I apoligize for being upset, I apologize for being attacked by a bee, I apologize for understanding where someone was coming from. 

     

     

     
    11.
    Bee
    571 posts
    Busy bee
    bunting    June 18, 2011   Grand Rapids, MI

    Hi @bells: I agree with you about this thread 100%. I tried staying out of the previous thread, but I did want to comment and say that while I think venting is a necessary process for the majority, Ryna's "vent" was written in such a way that it became more of a personal attack than anything else. Also, I sincerely hope you don't interpret these comments toward you as an attack! They are by no means so, we're just answering your question. :)

     
    12.
    Member
    1,813 posts
    Buzzing bee
    mrskesslertobe    September 18, 2010  

    @ignatiangal: I am sorry, but I am still not seeing how Sloth attacked you in that comment. I wish you the best in wedding planning and hope you find a place that is a better fit for you than the bee.

     
    13.
    Member
    3,395 posts
    Sugar bee
    soyjoy222    June 1, 2012   PA

    @ignatiangal: You don't need to apologize for being upset, we all get upset sometimes, but I think a lot of PP's meant you could have PM'd Sloth and let her know how you felt instead of posting this in a public section of the site.

     
    14.
    Bee
    3,185 posts
    Sugar bee
    sloth    May 14, 2011   Philadelphia, PA

    @ignatiangal: I was about to PM you back until I saw that you brought it to the boards. You never gave me a chance to respond.

    And again: I didn't attack you and would've been happy to explain the misunderstanding in private, had you not dragged it out to the public boards.

     
    15.
    Bee
    3,185 posts
    Sugar bee
    sloth    May 14, 2011   Philadelphia, PA

    @soyjoy222: She did PM me. I just didn't have the opportunity to respond before this post went up.

     
    16.
    Member
    489 posts
    Helper bee
    Candace From BC    October 21, 2012   BC Canada

    Pathetic. If you're upset-leave. If you wanna feed in to the drama of a dramatic post-leave. It's easy. Let the bees who are here for feed back and to share ideas do just that.

     
    17.
    Member
    3,395 posts
    Sugar bee
    soyjoy222    June 1, 2012   PA

    @sloth: ahh. I see. I'm done on this thread now. I just felt bad that this happened.

     
    18.
    Member
    8,947 posts
    Buzzing
    Beekeeper
    bells    June 26, 2011  

    @bunting: No I definitely understand where you guys are coming from... Smile

     
    19.
    Member
    94 posts
    Worker bee
    ignatiangal    September 4, 2011   Washington, DC

    I admit  I am being a bit irrationally pissy, but where in this did I attack ms sloth? I simply said she called me out. And I am sorry but her post on the other thread was to me and basically she blasted me for trying to understand where someone else was coming from and where I wasn't going after the mods but being objective on where someone could think someone.

    Thanks for calling me names by the way Candice.

     

     

     

     

     

     
    20.
    Hostess
    8,491 posts
    Bumble
    Beekeeper
    Mrs. DG    July 18, 2009   Seattle/Tahoe

    Ok, are you all sick of seeing me in threads yet?  My personal approach to moderation is to be really hands off and assume that people will use their best judgment in posting.  I don't think this thread or commenting on this thread necessarily exhibits best judgment.

    I do think this a difficult post to address, because as Ms. Pink pointed out, it's really hard to strike the balance between snark and moderation... One person's snark is another person's "keeping it real"...

    So, can we all agree to let this thread die?  I don't want to have to moderate or close it.

     
    21.
    Member
    849 posts
    Busy bee
    miss sparkly cat    December 26, 2013  

    ok this is very very simple, things need to change here big time, either they are going to change for the better or they are not. The mods need to tell us either way so that those of us who are unhappy with this bs can move on.

     
    22.
    Bee Icon
    Bee
    1,136 posts
    Bumble bee
    lox    May 2011   Baltimore

    Since this is about how bloggers bees are handling things to a degree now, I'm popping in to address that and that only. Personally, I understand the sting of the bee rejection note. I got one of those lovelies as well. None of us would ever take offense at someone wanting to blow off a little steam at getting one.

    The reason some folks felt attacked in the other thread was that the selection committee was accused of being liars. And our own weddings were called insulted and called generic.

    If it were just a venting thread? Totally no worries. It wouldn't have been the first one. And it would have been a non-issue. But it was stated as an attack on others. If you were attacked in such a manner, you might feel a little offended as well.

    So here's the deal. I'm not a mod. And I'm not usually the type to get involved in here. I certainly do not want to step on toes, stir people up, or otherwise incite a board riot. One of the reasons I love this community and *all* of you, is how supportive and helpful everyone is to each other. Especially in a time in our lives when we could all use a helping hand.

    So I propose that we release some of this negative energy and focus on the positive. I will start by promising that if I feel like something was aimed at me personally, I'll address it personally. And if I'm not sure if something was a direct shot, I'll choose to believe it wasn't. I will give everyone here the benefit of the doubt. I'll believe in the best intentions. That's how I'll do my bit to turn this around.

    What if we focus on positive steps to resolve this? What positive step will you (not anyone specific.... the general "you" here) take? 

     

    Reply

    You must log in to post.





    Visit our sister sites eHarmony
    Online Dating
    eHarmony Advice
    Dating Advice
    Project Wedding
    Wedding Songs
    JustMommies
    Pregnancy Calendar
    Copyright 2004-2012, Weddingbee.com
     

    Find your vendors on Weddingbee

    Real reviews from brides in your area!

    Favors by Weddingbee

    • Favors by season

    Shop Now ยป

    Find Registry Find Registry Find Registry

    More
    User Posts Today
    kate02121 12
    ndreighton 11
    rachgirl82 9
    ozpeony 7
    cbeyelia 6
    louiseW 6
    rivierabridal 6
    ladyartichoke 5
    takemyhand 5
    ohmystars28 5

    Weddingbee


    Sorry, there are no users yet.


    More