Post # 1
Looking for input. My boyfriend has been looking for a new job in the city in which we both live with little success. He’s been looking for 8 months and its come to the point where he’s expanding his search. I’ve been encouraging him to expand his net but he’s resisted until now. His intention is that such a move would be a temporary one and he would be looking to move back here almost immediately.
My question is whether to move with him or not. The move would be temporary but could still last a year or more. I have a good permanent job with the provincial government where I live that I would be giving up. I could try to get a year off without pay and have my job still be there but unfortunately I know many people who have tried that in the past few months that have been rejected.
My gut is telling me to do long distance for awhile and see what happens. We’re both committed to the relationship. It would be harder for both of us to be looking for a job here than just one person.
I hate this so much. I don’t want to be seperated from him at all. He worked away for 17 years before I met him. He’s been back here for almost 6 now and he doesn’t want to go away again.
Post # 3
@LarLa: I say follow your gut and try the long distance for a while. Like you said, it will be temporary, and you both are committed to your relationship. In this economy, it’s best if both of you are working. Right now, it seems like a year is a long time, but it goes by quicker than you think. Plus, it may be easier for him to find employment in your town after he is gainfully employed elsewhere (retarded I know but his future employment may lead to an opportunity closer to you down the road).
Post # 4
@Olive12: Thanks. My gut is telling me to stay here. I know people who’ve done a year or more long distance quite successfully. It would extremely suck but I know we’d be ok in the end.
Post # 5
Don’t give up your career/self to follow a boyfriend! I know you said you’re both committed to the relationship but that is a very risky move on your part. If you truly have a strong relationship, it will survive and possibly strengthen through this. Look out for yourself at this point!
Post # 6
I know it’s hard but you definitely gotta take care of yourself first. You’ve got a good job, stick with it. If everything is working out where he is, maybe you can look for a job there later.
Post # 7
Thanks everyone. I worked contract to contract for years until finally scoring a permanent government job with good benefits 2 years ago. It will be easier for him to work to get back here if its only him looking. I would of course re-evaluate after time has passed.
Of course I still wish he’d get a job here. 🙁