- 5 years ago
- Wedding: May 2014
This is my second marriage, my fiance’s first. My first wedding was 12 years ago and I had three bridesmaids.
I didn’t want a wedding party this time around, but my fiance wants to have 1-3 groomsmen. Since this is his first & only wedding, I’ll go along with what he wants. Problem is that now I’m left wondering what to do.
Do I ask the three friends from my first wedding again? I feel bad asking them to spend the time and money to do this AGAIN, although this time I would just tell them to wear whatever they wanted from their own closets – no specific dresses. All three would have to travel from out-of-state. #1 has been my best friend since kindergarden, we are definitely still friends but she isn’t thrilled with my fiancé and she doesn’t like weddings in general. She is a wonderful person but can be kind of a buzzkill. #2 and I are still friends but definitely not as close as we were. I also can’t stand her boyfriend, who was married when they started dating…woo that’s a long story. #3 is very busy with two kids and is kind of a selfish person in general. She’s a family member who I love to death, situations like these just aren’t her forte. I can’t imagine any of them being excited to stand up in our wedding for multiple reasons, though they will all attend. None of them are the girly wedding-y type who will get excited, want to get manicures, want to hang out with me and help me get ready. They didn’t throw me a shower or a bachelorette party, or anything along those lines the first time.
I have a couple of newer friends who are very excited for us and would love to stand up in our wedding, who I have more in common with nowadays and would have fun with, but I’m afraid to alienate my older friends in the process. One of them is half of the couple who introduced my fiance and I, she would be thrilled to stand up with me.
Or, I guess I could just not have any attendants, while fiancé has 1, 2, or 3 friends on his side. I fear that would make me look lonely & friendless.
I’m so lost. What do I do?