Post # 1
i’m 22, turning 23 in November. I’m graduating college in 15 days, moving in with my fiance in 16 days because my lease is ending, getting married in 51 days, starting med school in 123 days, and it’s finally all hitting me at once. I’m feeling really overwhelmed and like my life is happening so fast! It’s like bam all in a row.
Fiance and I have been long distance for 2 years so far while he’s been doing med school and I’m scared that it’ll be really hard adjusting. I’ve been really short tempered and lose my patience really easily. Every little disagreement feels like scary and brings up a little thought of “am I really ready for this?” I think I’m getting overly frustrated by this. i’m scared of moving in and getting to the next step but at the same time I’m just so tired of dealing with long distance and having 70% of our relationship through phone calls.
I’m suddenly feeing very young and inexperienced. i understand that marriage is about growing together and I do want that, I’m just having my “omg I’m actually getting married” moment. My fiance is older (25) so half of his close friends are recently married and some even have babies. Almost all my friends say things like “I can’t believe you’re getting married already, I can’t even imagine that.” Most haven’t even been in a serious long term relationship yet.
I’m having a hard time expressing everything I feel. I’m worried that I’m rushing things? It might be a side effect of graduating and being one step closer to facing the real world. Is this normal? I think I just need some reassurance and someone to talk to. I don’t have any close friends my age who are engaged or married so everything is just floating around in my head.
Post # 3
Everybody handles things differently, but you have a LOT of major stressors happening right now which will put you on edge.
It happens to the best of us, no matter our age. Let your FI in on what’s floating around your head to and it should help you to relax and him as well.
Post # 4
I gotta say, for someone who is going through all those changes, you seem to have a good handle on the challenges you are about to face and the triggers that set off unpleasant thoughts. I think that’s half the battle! Change really sucks especially when it comes on all at once, but when you get through it you feel so much stronger. At least for me when I look back on stressful periods in my life, I remember them so well and sometimes even remember them fondly. It’s weird but it’s almost as if you are more “alive” in crazy times than when things are more routine. I was just reading an article the other day about the way the brain works, and it was saying that the brain tends to savor/remember details more when it isn’t familiar with a situation. Which is kind of cool. You and your FI will get through it, and you will be so much stronger for it!
Post # 5
Take a minimum of 5 minutes every day to step back, breath and clear your head. Go for a massage. You are going through a lot of change right now and it is only natural to e on edge and stressed out.
Post # 6
Wow you and I could have the same life! I am graduating too in two weeks, moving to a different apartment in two weeks, getting married in three months, then starting graduate school in august! FI and I were also long distance for two years of our relationship, so I know how hard that is.
The only differences I see in our relationships is that we were long distance a long time ago and have been living together for two years now. My advice for you is to start taking things one step at a time. Right now just think about moving in with your FI. Moving in with someone is a huge change, and sometimes even a shock. I doubt that FI or I slept a wink the first night after moving in (and it was right after a 2-month long-distance spell!). It’s so weird sharing a bed with someone after years of sleeping by yourself. There are also going to be tons of little things about your FI that you will discover that you never knew before. Maybe he snores, or he leaves dirty socks on the couch, whatever. So this will take some adjusting. I promise, though, after a week or so you will be so happy to finally be living with your love!
Once you’ve adjusted to living with your FI, then start tackling the thoughts of marriage. For the last few weeks I have not even thought more than once or twice a week about our wedding. I’ve just been so overwhelmed with finishing my bachelors and the move that I have shoved all of those thoughts to the back of my mind. Once the move is out of the way and we have adjusted, it will be full steam ahead again. And I’m sure once that has happened I will feel tons better and more excited about the wedding!
Just hang in there. Take things one step at a time. Don’t let what your friends say make you doubt your choices. This is YOUR life, and you need to live it the way you want!