She asked me what I thought…

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1102 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@discokitty:  i don’t think wanting her to sept down if she is recorving for an operstaion is bad at all 

 

i mean 1st off she soudns like she been all ove the place and unsupportive 

 

and yes you love her but if she is hurt healing she will need to be resting not going on stagettes and going to dinnrs and last min running for you she cant do these things and well the last few weeks is go time 

like its go time i been MOH a few times and yo are hte one runing forhte bride the most your with her one hadm e stay with her for 4 days b4 the wedding too if she is recovering for an elective operstion she was spsota gfet months down teh road thats a personal choice but you need a MOH who can run with you back you up be at the dinners andstuff 

 

its not a personal thing its just you need someone who can be ur back up those weeks b4 and do the lil things and she will need to rest and heal not run around with you 

Post # 4
Member
1318 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Why don’t you just drop it for a while? Honestly, no one knows how she will recover. If she is able to walk down the aisle, they why not let her? If she is hurt from the surgery still then maybe she can walk down but have a seat in the front row for her to sit next to the flower girls. If she is unable to walk down the aisle alone maybe the BM can walk her down and the GMs can walk the BMs. If she is really really hurting then have her simply sit in the front row. Maybe she can do a reading or toast.

I guess I just don’t understand why your only option if she gets the surgery is that she is not in the wedding party. I am unfamilira with this type of procedure though so feel free to educate me about it 🙂

Post # 5
Member
3570 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Since her entire family is in it, I’d just let her stay.  It’s not worth worrying about this situation.

Post # 6
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

Drop it for now, and see how her recovery goes!

Post # 7
Member
1103 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Yes, tell her your position remains the same.  That’s not a long recovery period for her, and you don’t want her to rush the healing process.

Post # 9
Member
1721 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

A lapband procedure is actually not that invasive (unless she has major complications).  They will have her up and out of bed walking the day after surgery (they encourage about 2+ miles a day).  It is possible that she will be the rare case where something bad will happen, but more than likely she will be just fine to be in your wedding.  Although she will not be able to eat the meal provided(most of it) or drink any alcohol (she shouldn’t anyways), she should have no trouble walking down the aisle or doing some light dancing. 

The fact that you guys have been on the outs is a very valid reason to want to remove her from the bridal party!  I wouldn’t make it about the surgery though, because that shouldn’t effect your wedding at all.  She’s doing something to (hopefully) drastically improve her health, but something that’s very difficult and she might want a lot of support from you.

Source- mentor at Bariatric Surgery center for both lapband and bypass patients.

Post # 10
Member
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

There’s a lot of backstory that suggests more than meets the eye here but I would just say that recovering from gastric band surgery can be pretty quick. My experience coming from a family member having this procedure carried out. It’s done by keyhole surgery and once you’ve recovered from the anaesthetic (48 hours or so usually) she wasn’t in any pain at all although the air that they pumped into her stomach was uncomfortable for a few days. I’d have thought that surgery on the 9 September would leave your sister perfectly well enough to be MOH at a wedding on the 21st.

 

Post # 11
Member
1318 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@discokitty:  I wouldn’t stress about it. just let her do her thing. When the day comes see what she is able to do. If she can walk down the aisle, why not let her? If she is unable to, then let her sit in front. It shouldn’t be too big of a deal. Try to make peach with either situation.

Kind of like brides that get married outside. It is always good to be at peace with the fact that it might rain and your ceremony may have to be inside. Be prepared for the worst but hope for the best. Some things are beyond your control.

Post # 14
Member
3693 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I understand that you’re upset with how she’s treated you during your wedding planning process, but I don’t think you can tell her not to have this surgery on the 9th. You have to remember that your wedding is one day, and no one will care about it as much as you do. I really don’t mean that to be harsh, it’s just that we all get wrapped up in our own wedding planning sometimes. This surgery is probably going to dramatically improve your sister’s health and quality of life. If I was in her position, I’d probably want to get it done ASAP too. As other posters have pointed out, recovery these days isn’t usually that big of a deal, so she’d probably be totally fine for your wedding. And if she’s not, then she sits out — with the way she’s behaved, it might be for the best anyway.

Post # 16
Member
666 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

My MOH had knee surgery about 3 weeks before my wedding.  I was very worried but everything was fine and she was even able to dance and stuff.

I’d let her go ahead if she thinks she can handle it that close before the wedding.

Sounds like she is being a bit of a problem in other ways, but I guess for the medical I’d just stay out of it and keep her place in the wedding party.

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