Weddingbee boards

We've been engaged for about a month now, and of course everyone has been asking about our wedding date.  We'd toyed with two ideas- the first, and more likely:  August 14, 2010.  Early fall wedding, decent weather (we're in Ohio so it's turning the fall-corner by then), plenty of time to let our guests plan out travel arrangements etc. #2 was late spring/early summer 2011.  FI would be finishing his Masters (but beginning his PhD), and we'd be able to go on our honeymoon immediately- where as we'd have a mini-moon for the earlier date, and then the full honeymoon later.

It didn't take us very long to decide that the August date fit us much better.  We didn't really need or want a long engagement, it would be just enough time to plan without feeling overwhelmed, but not too much that I would lose interest (in planning!)

The venue was an easy decision- FI's stepfather owns a gorgeous bed and breakfast that specializes in weddings.  Free ceremony/reception site.  No brainer. We started thinking: this is it!  Our August wedding is really happening!

A month ago another couple asked FI's step-father about getting married at the Manor "sometime in 2010."  At that point he was completely open and said what amounts to "send me a contract, a deposit, and it's yours."  There are 52 weekends in a year, and we found out today they chose our weekend.  They had already written the check.  Now we have the option of booting them- which is both bad for his business and bad karma- for all I know this bride probably has other deposits down for catering, flowers etc. for that date.  I wouldn't want to do that to her. Or we change our date.

So here we are.  I was so excited to start feeling like a real 'bride-to-be.'  I had started picking out STDs, contacted photogs, looked at caterers.  Now it looks like I won't even need to really be thinking about these things for another 6 months at least.  I suppose it's better to start early but still, it breaks my heart.  I had always imagined a fall wedding, and it finally seemed 'real.'

Thanks for indulging my vent.  It's dreary out today and that isn't helping.  I just needed some hive hugs. 

what about the weekend after or the weekend before? since you haven't set the 8/14 date with anyone yet right? or is that a special date you want to keep?

Those are good suggestions, we thought about them too!  Here's why it wouldn't work as well:

If we moved it to the weekend before, FI will be in finals until the day before the wedding.  Not good for the stress factor, and not much time to help out with final preparations. 

The weekend after would mean he'd have to go to his first day of fall classes 2 days after the wedding.  Again, not very romantic.  We loved the idea of the 14th because we could take a mini-moon (3-5 days during the week before fall term). 

mini moon BEFORE the date of the wedding =D just throwing out ideas

Let me clarify something- FI is a masters student and teaches at the University- there are no dates during fall term that would work for us.  We wanted to keep the date while he wasn't in school for that reason.  And Cherries- I know it isn't past the solstice, but it was the closest we could get.

Also, if I didn't make it clear- we are not booting the other couple.  It was an option offered to us by FSFIL, but neither I, nor FI could justify doing that to someone.

Thanks for your suggestions though, I appreciate it!

@starburst- we did consider this, but I don't know if I want to put FSFIL in that position.  Maybe I will have him feel it out, but let it be on her terms. 

@TheFutureMrs.Q- financially it doesn't make sense to choose another venue, when we get such a gorgeous and ideal one for free.  Plus i'm pretty sure FMIL and FSFIL would be pretty upset if we decided to go with someone else.  And you rent the Manor for the weekend, so that weekend is totally out.

@hotchildinthecity- He has an internship managing their music technology lab, so yes, his summer session covers both terms (we have 2 as well).  He may not be in full-time classes during those times, but he will have work.  We considered the spring-summer break but that would be coming up pretty soon!  Plus my parents wouldn't be able to afford to help out much if that was the case, as 1/2 of their contibution is coming to us in June (they split it up for financial reasons).

Thank you all for helping me look at this logically and not just emotionally.  The date itself, while it works the best for us- isn't THAT important.  Waiting another 9 months isn't going to kill me, neither is not having my wedding at my ideal time of year.  I am still marrying the love of my life. If anything, the added length might allow more of our friends and family to be able to make the trip.

I'll post an update when we figure out things for sure.

@rungurl10-  hahahah :)  FMIL definitely agrees with you.  I just don't know if I could do that.  Like I said, perhaps we'll feel it out with the other bride and she if she has any other options.  I will not push her, I know what it's like to have a date set in my mind!  Plus she has to pay for hers, and it's not inexpensive to do it at our location.

@rungurl10, starburst- You're both right.  FSFIL didn't really promise it to either of us 'first'.  I decided on the date before he received the faxed contract from the other bride.  On the other hand, she signed a CONTRACT.  She sent a deposit.  She did all of this still assuming that he would have open availability.  I didn't sign a contract (I didn't have to), our families just decided on the date together.  Legally it's hers.

@peanut- That may actually be a good idea.  I didn't consider moving the finals/asking for time off of the job.  I will talk to FI about that tonight.  Thank you!!