(Closed) So, my best friend said… :(

posted 7 years ago in Dress
Post # 3
Member
190 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Try not to think much of it. Since she doesn’t know much about weddings, then her concept of how much wedding gowns cost is probably not very accurate. Before I got engaged and started wedding planning, I totally thought people spent way too much on weddings….now that I’m in the mist of it and I am more informed as to what things cost, I STILL think people spend way too much, but I am much more empathetic and understanding. Everything wedding is expensive. If you like your gown, then don’t worry about what she thinks of it (I know, easier said than done). Just remember, you can’t please everyone, so why not please yourelf. Believe me, she will think you’re more than beautiful on the day you wear it!

Post # 4
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Ugh that’s so frustrating.  I wouldn’t tell her how much anything costs from now on. 

Post # 5
Member
285 posts
Helper bee

What I have learned is that there are always going to be people that have something to say about your day. If you let every comment get to you you will be a ball of nerves when they time comes. I know it is easier said than done, and even harder when the person saying these things is having an integral part of your day and life. And to let you know, I saw your dress post and I love the dress! I too was never a flashy girl and needed something with simple elegance. I think you achieved it well and it will be perfect for your barn wedding!

Post # 6
Member
3576 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Maybe she’s a little jealous?!!?   I’m also sorry she said that to you.  Just let it roll into one ear and out the other.  But on a side note…I would never say that to a friend.

Post # 7
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I’m sure she just doesn’t understand–it was rude, but I’m constantly blown away by how expensive wedding gown are. Gaudy or not. Her opinion should not have you questioning if you love it or not.

Post # 8
Member
4511 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Dude. So uncool. I’m sure she didn’t mean to be mean about it, but that’s just an immature and insensitive comment. I mean, the time to question to cost of the dress is BEFORE you buy it, and to insult the dress as “plain”…no. It’s too late for that!

FYI, I had the world’s plainest dress, and it still cost more money than I think I’ve ever spent on anything! My married friend begged to know what it cost, and when I finally told her, she went into shock, telling me that her dress only cost $150. To which I say, “Good for you!” 🙂

My point is, we all have areas we prioritize in our budgets and areas we de-emphasize, and these are different for everyone. No one should be judging. One day when your friend gets married, she’ll understand!

Post # 9
Member
500 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

So sorry you had to deal with that!  My MOH in my first wedding (i’m an encore bride, first time just wasn’t right and I knew it) was the same way.  Totally unsupportive of anything.  Needless to say she’s not in this one.   You do what YOU want to do for your wedding.  And if the negative comments continue, relieve her of her mOH duties.  I’d hate for her to say something mean to you on your big day and just ruin your day.

Post # 10
Member
1545 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

WOW I would definitley be a little upset too. Friends aren’t suppose to tell you stuff like that. I wouldn’t tell her about any cost anymore.

Post # 11
Member
566 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

i would be annoyed too, but i would overlook it.  if you’re happy with the dress, then that’s all that matters.  and i looked it up, and i think it’s a beautiful dress.  :).  you did a good job.

Post # 12
Member
1883 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

She is probalby just shocked at the general price of wedding gowns. My dress was super simple and was around $1300 (I think) which isn’t a lot in wedding dress land, but for me it is. Just don’t tell people how much it costs, and they can’t comment. No one knew how much my dress was.

Post # 13
Member
32 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Your friend is probably kicking herself this morning for putting her foot in her mouth.  Having been a bridesmaid many times now, I’ve learned that I’m going to say something dumb to a bride at least once, if not more than once, over the course of their planning. 

Also, a lot of women (myself included) I know have wound up paying a lot for a simple dress because the cut and design are so critical to make the dress spectacular.

Post # 14
Member
494 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

The point is, no matter what you do, you cannot make all people agree on one thing. If you pick a dress that your bff likes, maybe you and your family don’t like. As long as you are happy and your guy likes it, that’s the most important.

A dress expensive or not depends on many factors, e.g. designer, fabric… I am sorry but I need to say a dress with too much details sometimes look cheap…. 

 

Anyway support you 🙂

Post # 15
Member
70 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@amberdawn1064: You’ve chosen a beautiful dress. Congratulations!

I think I may have just chosen my own dress, after consulting with my mum, sister and best friend – and it’s much, much simpler than any of us expected. (My best friend in particular was all about the lace dresses, which were gorgeous but a bit outside budget.)

I do agree with raggedy – cut is critical. Your dress doesn’t need to be elaborate to be beautiful or special. In the end, everyone has their own opinion, and that’s what makes the event of choosing a dress so much fun (and yet so tortuous!). I hope you’re still able to love the one you’ve chosen – it really is gorgeous, and I know you’ll have a wonderful day.

Post # 16
Member
1559 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Ugh. It drives me nuts when girls think that anything over $200 is expensive for a dress you will wear once. If you want to spend $100 or $200 on a dress that has poor fabric and construction quality, by all means, go for it, but in the end you’re still getting a dress that isn’t any better quality than what most girls wear to prom. 

Idk. I actually know about fiber content and construction quality, so I’m a bit of a dress snob. I realize that even the most plain dresses take FOREVER to put together, and unless they are mass produced like the ones at David’s Bridal (*cough*sweatshop*cough) you really aren’t going to get a good quality dress for anything less than $500 or $1000.

Girls just don’t realize that even the most plain dress takes forever to put together. Whether it’s made my hand or in China, TONS of man hours go into that dress. To make it a quality garment that is actually worth wearing, it takes time, which takes money.

Add a fabric that is in any way quality and your price jumps immediately. 

I’m not saying that some brands aren’t overpriced (Brides by Demitrios is crazy overpriced considering almost all their dresses are polyester) but for the most part a higher priced dress indicates better quality. 

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