So my cousin got drunk and told me that he…

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 3
Member
2355 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

That is bizarre. Married for 6 years and then planning on a proposal and the big white dress? I don’t get it. They should have just told everyone and been open as husband and wife.

Post # 5
Member
1168 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@Kandiss16:  maybe the got married for reasons other than the traditional reasons? Perhaps for healthcare? They both seem like even though they are legally married they may not feel spiritually or emotionally married yet (probably because no one recongises the marriage socially because they are unware of it). 

 

Yes it is definitely not the typical arrangement. I cant say When I was 18 and my FI was 19 that we hadnt thought about becoming legally married and waiting to get “married married” (As we would call it) until we were older and on our feet. Obviously we waited- but it did cross our minds when we were younger. 

Post # 6
Member
6964 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@Kandiss16:  That is so weird. I knew someone whose uncle got married to someone he felt his elderly mother wouldn’t approve of, so they kept it a secret. Like, she lived with him and everything, but no one knew! Crazy!

Did your cousin get married for insurance purposes or something? I mean… why get married in vegas and not live together after?

Post # 7
Member
1867 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

My husband and I know a couple like this – they got married like 4 years ago secretly and only just got publicly engaged a year ago. The guy (who is a douchebag) has told a bunch of people but his partner has no idea that all his friends know they’re already married. So weird.

Post # 8
Member
1093 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

So she has been married for 6 years and has potentially been filing taxes as single this whole time? Nice. Except not.

@MsW-to-MrsM:  +1

Post # 11
Member
3948 posts
Honey bee

I don’t get it? If they arent living as a married couple, and didnt do it for tax/health/etc. benefits…then what is the point? You can be fully committed without a marriage. Seems silly to me. Was it actually legal, with a marriage license?

Post # 13
Member
1093 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Kandiss16:  I just don’t get why do it in Vegas and not tell anyone afterwards. It just seems disingenuous to me

Post # 14
Member
2783 posts
Sugar bee

@Kandiss16:  lol my brother and his (now ex) wife got married in Vegas and never told her parents! It was really weird and I don’t know why but they even got divorced a year ago and the mom still had no idea that tey had even been married..

Post # 15
Member
1788 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@bellaluna290:  I really don’t get the impulse to jump to accusations of tax fraud just because they kept their marriage a secret socially. That was pretty unfair of you. The IRS isn’t going to gossip to their friends and family. 

OP, does he know he’s supposed to propose again? What if he doesn’t, and just keeps waiting for her to plan everything, while she waits for him to propose?

I’m sort of sad to see all the judgement about their motives and moral character… They made it through 6 years of marriage, and they’re still going strong enough to be planning a wedding. I think that’s great. Weird, yes, but good for them. Many people aren’t lucky enough to get this far, and if it works for them, I don’t see why I should have a problem with it. 

ETA: to answer your question, no, I really don’t think I could pull off keeping a secret for this long. I’m just not a secretive person, and I usually just choose the path of least resistance if the alternative involves secrecy. 

Post # 16
Member
3570 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

My DH and I almost did this years ago.  I needed health insurance sooo badly, but we decided to just wait for the big white wedding. 

I totally thought this was going to be a post about how your cousin had romantic feelings for you LOL 

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