So my sister had her wedding “tasting”

posted 3 years ago in Family
Member
3316 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I don’t mean to stir the pot, as you’re obviously very upset, but you sound very… condescending? the way you’re talking, and I’m wondering if this is coming across in real life.  You criticize other peoples’ abilities to discern food and seem like you’re suggesting a lot of ways to do things– I could see where your sister might be frustrated with all your suggestions?

If this isn’t case– hell, regardless if it is– they shouldn’t be whispering and being rude.  I’d take a step back and avoid them.  Is this sister the daughter of the parents you were with? I think they could talk to her?

Member
1823 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

OP:  Don’t take this the wrong way, but your post sounds very judgy and condescending. How is your relationship with these people normally? Is it possible that your tone is also  judgy and condescending and that’s why they don’t like you?

Also about the tasting, there is a time to give suggestions and a time to praise your sister’s choice. It sounds like she really invited you to compliment the food, not change her menu

Member
71 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

You come across as a snot. The caterer made a mistake and you had to be rude about it. You had a bad attitude from the start. You weren’t welcoming to these people, actually quite snobbish. Sure they weren’t nice to you, but you weren’t helping the situation.

Member
7668 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

It sounds to me like you got back the type of attitude you put out.

Member
4867 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@bookworm88:  

@msfahrenheit:  

I agree that it sounds very condescending. Sounds like you are your parents were being incredibly picky/controlling – I mean really, you’re telling them how to stack the plates, that their wedding food should be a totally different theme than they planned, picking apart every little mistake…I would of been irritated and griping behind your back too (which, I’d like to point out, is the same thing you’re doing to her here, so not sure how you can be mad about that one). 

To be honest I thought your prior post sounded kinda judgey/harsh towards your sister, but was giving you the benefit of the doubt. But this one sounds even worse…I think you guys seriously need to cut your sister some slack and let her enjoy her wedding planning without criticizing her and her vendors’ every move.

Even the post title is snobby…why does the word tasting need to go in quotation marks? Sounds like a proper tasting to me.

Member
1263 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I agree with PP’s that your attitude is really grating. Seriously, who cares about her friends or what the food tasted like. Its your sisters wedding, let her deal with it.

Member
433 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Is this for real??? I think you take life way too seriously. Lighten up! Planning for your sister’s and your wedding is exciting. I don’t see why you can only see the negative in something like this. Perhaps you bring a negative vibe to where you go and people pick up on it. You may not know it but perhaps you are saying things that rub people the wrong way which causes them to react in a not so positive way. You reap what you sew, and it looks like you need to see the happier side of situations and not think everyone is “talking” about you. 

 

I really don’t mean to sound rude or mean, but I see that I can get into a negative state of mind when I could make the situation easier by taking a more positive approach and maybe this is something you do too?

Member
458 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I agree with what everyone else is saying!

Member
378 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I have to agree, before I even read any of the other comments, I thought you sounded quite rude and condescending with just an all around paranoid and bad attitude.  I’m sorry you feel they were rude to your family.  But maybe they just aren’t fans of you either because of the vibes you put out to them.  You have obviously all known each other for a while, so I suppose you all just don’t get along.  Good thing is, it’s not your wedding.  Keep quiet and don’t be snotty and when it’s over you don’t have to deal with them anymore.

Member
883 posts
Busy bee

Everyone above has pretty much summed up how I felt while reading your post.  It actually made me feel awkward.  We all know wedding planning is stressful, and we need our friends/family to be supportive.  Perhaps your inital comment just set the tone for the evening (thus, people were thrown off by your attitude, and the whispering started).  If not, perhaps you come across as though you think you’re better than others, even when you keep your mouth shut (even though you may not realize it).  If I was the MOH, I likely would have felt uncomfortable, too.  But, you really can’t change anything about the evening now, so the only thing you can do is suck it up, try harder and be supportive.  Just my opinion.

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