Post # 1
So, I find myself in a situation I never thought I would be in, and I need to enlist the help of complete strangers!
I’ve decided to propose to my girlfriend of about 2 and a half years. I know how I’m going to do it and to a certain extent even know where. The reason this is only to a certain extent though is ‘cos I’m not sure when to do it.
My GF’s 30th birthday is in a few weeks and as part of the celebrations there is a surprise party, a surprise week off work and a surprise mid-week break to her favourite spa retreat. On top of that, we have the Christmas right around the corner and the plan is a holiday in NYC next spring / summer to almost single our last big hooray of spending ‘cos we would have a wedding to pay for.
Here in then lies my dilemma…should I ask her at our little break next week and cram a whole lot of what I hope are great memories and times into a few weeks, plus limit what I can do due to budget…or should i wait and do it a few weeks into the New Year when there is nothing else going on?
I know when you do it isn’t the most important part but I want it to be special and memorable and I feel like putting it with everything else might be a bit of overkill. If I hold off, it will certainly be less expected (everyone seems to think birhdays and Christmas are the only time of the year anyone can ask!) plus I could direct a bit more resources into each thing seperatly. On the other hand, would doing it as part of a 30th birthday celebration add to the whole thing? I should mention I hate the thought of waiting, and what I would have planned for a few weeks would be amazing…I hope
Any help is greatly appreciated as anyone I know I could ask would certainly give the game away on me.
Post # 2
Ehaughian: The big question is if you have the ring yet (assuming you have decided to propose with a ring). In order to get her size in the ring it could take a few weeks, even up to or just over a month (especially at this time of year). So you will need to take that into consideration when you decide when you want to do it.
Also, which do you want more: for it to be a complete surprise (in which case do it after the new year) or to make a big event of it (then do it during the holidays, her birthday week etc.)
Congratulations on making this step 🙂 You have a very lucky soon to be FI.
Post # 3
Ehaughian: since you are excited about what you planned and don’t want to wait, I say do it in a few weeks. It sounds lovely. No matter when you ask, I’m sure she’ll be thrilled:-) congratulations!
Post # 4
Well if I was your girlfriend, I would want you to propose As soon as possible. But that’s just me. Hahaha.
Post # 5
Do you plan on having a longer or shorter engagement? If shorter, the sooner the better probably.
Post # 6
I say the sooner the better. Trust me, she’ll enjoy all of her festivities with a ring on her finger more than waiting for it during them!
Post # 7
I’m a dissenting voice. I warned my fiancé against proposing on my birthday or Christmas! I wanted to milk the enjoyment and not have something cliche.
That being said, if you’re excited, I’m sure she will be thrilled no matter what.
Post # 8
I agree with others. I would want you to do it sooner rather than later. It will be very special regardless of how or what you have going on around it. Congrats on your soon to be engagement!
Post # 9
Definitely as part of her 30th! Why wait?
Post # 10
Do it sooner! Don’t make her wait. I am hoping my SO pops the Q before all the holiday excitement begins so I can share in all the fun with friends and family throughout the upcoming weeks!
Post # 11
Ill take the other side too – wait until just AFTER all of these celebrations! She’ll be so amazed by all the awesome stuff that the last thing she’ll expect is a proposal at the end.
Post # 12
Ehaughian: I’d want you to do it before my (surprise) 30th b-day party (not at the party). That way I could have a separate, stand-alone proposal. AND I could show off the ring at my party.
Post # 13
I agree with a couple of previous posters – do it before everything so that she can celebrate and be excited with all the friends and family that you guys are going to see.
Good luck and congrats!
Post # 14
I would do it before the celebrations, so she can show all of her friends and family. However, having been engaged only 2 1/2 months, I would say it may be hard to start planning the wedding, buy gifts for the holidays, and everything else after… Although, you may want a longer engagement…. Perhaps Spring/ Fall 2016? If that is the case and money is not as tight, I suggest right before everything so she can show her family and friends.
Post # 15
Ehaughian: I would do it before all of the festivities. That way she can share that excitement with everyone during the birthday party and holidays.
I think it also depends partly on how much she is anticipating it. If she really wants to get engaged and is expecting it soon, it may be disappointing to her to go through her birthday and holidays without a proposal.