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So Over It?

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
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    1.
    Member
    261 posts
    Helper bee
    thefuturemrsjohnson    April 3, 2010   Whittier, California

    Ok - I need to start by saying that I am so in love with my FI and I can't wait to be his wife.  He is loving and wonderful and kind and treats me and my 13-year-old daughter with nothing but love and respect.  He supports me in everything I do and is just amazing.

    I don't know what is going on, but I am so OVER the whole wedding thing.  This is from the woman who has been planning this "stupid" thing since I realized that I was going to marry this man.  This from the woman who bought her wedding dress before she even had the ring.  This from the woman would would buy a wedding magazine over food for lunch just so she could look at everything and imagine her big day.

    I am so over the stress of trying to find a place to have this day that no one but me is really going to enjoy as much as I want them to.  I am tired of trying to figure out the guest list, the food, the favors , the people, EVERYTHING!

    I'm even more tired of trying to figure out how to pay for the whole stupid day.

    I am getting closer and closer to running away and just saying forget the whole thing and driving through some stupid place and having Elvis so us the honor.

    This is my second time and the first one was so lame and I hated him so much for us not doing it "right".  We had planned on doing a 5 year thing at some point, but we never made it that far. 

    We both work for the same company which is nice because the guest list is mostly from the office and a few outside, but even that seems like too many.  And then who do you invite and who can you leave out?  I know I don't have to invite the people I don't talk to, but you know the people who hear you talking about it, assume they are invited, but hello! I can't afford to pay for the people we see and do things with outside of the office!

    We had set a date of 11/29/09 and that is 67 days from today.  I don't think there is any way I can figure it all out in that time. 

    I'm just so over it and I want to cry, because I really really REALLY want to wear my dress and dance with my husband at my wedding.

    I know, i'm acting like a 2-year-old, and yes, I'm about to lay on the floor and kick and scream until something happens.  It will probably just end in my getting fired or taken away for a hospital stay, but hey, the coats are white, maybe I can have them do the marriage in the back of the car on the way over?

    I just want the wedding fairy to come in, wave her wand and yippee I'm at my magical party with my friends and everything is lovely!

     
    2.
    Bee
    4,377 posts
    Honey bee
    mrbee    March 5, 2005   New York City, New York

    Oh no, that doesn't sound fun at all!

    Is it possible to hire a wedding fairy (i.e. wedding planner)?

     
    3.
    Member
    126 posts
    Blushing bee
    Miss SoonToBee    11-07-09   Fayetteville, Ar

    Can I tell you something that might help a bit? I've yet to meet a bride who hasn't gotten to the same point that you're at.

    Wedding planning isn't all it's cracked up to be. Especially when you're broke and practical right?

    I tried giving up 8 or 9 times but in the end I trudged on.

    You deserve this day. You want this day. Don't let your frustration bowl over your plans.

    I think that you'd really regret it.

    My wedding is 11-07 (SO SOON!!). I'm at the point now that I've done everything that I can to make it a fantastically memorable day. There's a certain wall that I hit where I decided that it's going to be great no matter what, who cares if a flower is out of place or the cake isn't perfect? I'm getting married to my best friend. I doubt I'll be looking too much at pomanders and flower arrangements.

    Make it about you and him. Don't worry about how it will look to others.

     
    4.
    Member
    545 posts
    Busy bee
    poli2b    October 11, 2009   Aliso Viejo

    I can so relate to what you're feeling right now. Honestly, it sounds like you've spent a fair amount of money so far, so it might be too costly to completely throw in the towel. But ponder this: downsize.

    Cut everyone from your work..unless you are BFF with one of them. Limit it to the absolute most important people in your lives. 2nd - consider getting married at city hall. A lot of them have really beautiful architecture and make for gorgeous pictures. Have your ceremony, then enjoy a nice lunch or dinner at a restaurant, park, your home -wherever you don't have to worry about costly wedding up-charges. Then, when it's just the two of you, have a little slow dance. It will be more romantic than you think.

    Good luck to you!

     
    5.
    Hostess
    1,913 posts
    Buzzing bee
    IA_Snowflake    August 29, 2009   Missouri Valley, IA

    I can totally relate to how you feel.  About 40 days before the wedding I was SO OVER IT.  I wanted the throw in the towel, jump on a plane and just forget it all.  Why did I just HAVE TO have the big wedding?  I had a crappy wedding the first time, so I wanted to do it right this time.  In the end, yes, it's all worth it.  However, if it's too overwhelming and you're not that far, can you change it so that you and your Mr and daughter hop on a pla\ne somewhere and be happy with a ceremony like that?

     
    6.
    Member
    1,066 posts
    Bumble bee
    Br1tSh1n1ngStar    10/17/09   New Jersey

    I felt like this, I still kinda do, just try to focus on the dress which you said you are so excited to wear, and your FI, that's it, the end. every other issue your response is to be whatever happens happens. don't stress the details anymore. Trust me I learned this the hard way and when you learn it, suddenly pew bows are meaningless... haha... sorry that was my breaking point. Anyway, it will be beautiful and you've put in tons of work so far. Take a wedding free week. I know it sounds crazy being this close, but just try to do it, get a lot of sleep and stop yourself from doing anything wedding related, just spend quality time with your FI and your daughter, it's sure to refresh your spirit and give you back some of the original bridal excitment.

     
    7.
    Member
    545 posts
    Busy bee
    poli2b    October 11, 2009   Aliso Viejo

    Britshiningstar - that's really great advice. I think I'm going to take that advice for myself. I see your wedding is about a week after mine. How you holding up?

     
    8.
    Member
    1,066 posts
    Bumble bee
    Br1tSh1n1ngStar    10/17/09   New Jersey

    @poli2b, I'm doing ok, I just keep thinking of stuff that needs to get done, or loose ends, or something pops up, I just really wanna be on the dance floor with my new hubby about to eat cake. This can all be over now, well the work part anyway. It really is key to take a break. This weekend will be busy for me however cause I am kind of out of time. It's ok though, the experience is all about making memories so I hope everyone is making good ones!!! How are you holding up? your even closer than me! o I just can't wait to see my FH in a tux he's gonna look so handsome

     
    9.
    Member
    261 posts
    Helper bee
    thefuturemrsjohnson    April 3, 2010   Whittier, California

    Thank you ALL so much! I love that everyone on this site is so supportive and kind!

    I'm ok - still over the top stressed - and I know things will work out and we will get married in some way at some time and life will go on.

    I guess it's just hard when all you want seems so simple but when you try to do it it turns out to be maddness!

    Good luck to everyone and thanks again!

     

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