Post # 1
I feel like all I do is whine lately on these boards :/
So I got engaged 2 weeks ago to the love of my life, and I am SOO excited to marry him. But I feel so guilty because I have so many different emotions going on. I feel like I should be jumping up and down with excitement, but wedding planning is making me sad for so many different reasons.
I miss my dad, he passed away when I was younger. Every time I think about walking down the aisle without him, I cry. And when I think of FI having his dance with his mom, I get sad because I wont have that moment. I even picked out the song that I would use if my dad was still with us 🙁
I miss my sister. She stopped speaking to FI and I about 18 months ago (I wrote a post about it last week), and it was all due to a stupid fight over stationary (seriously). I reached out to her this weekend to let her know how much I miss her, and that I always imagined her being my MOH, and now…I dont evenknow if she would go to the wedding. Her response to me was screaming about how she has no respect for my FI because he didnt say hello to her at a family event over a year ago. It was a disaster and we got nowhere.
I have pretty much have no family. My FI’s rough draft guest list was close to 50 (just family), and mine was 13. Wedding planning is just reminding me that I dont have many close relationships. I am excited to join FI’s family..and they have been wonderful to me and I feel so lucky for that, but I still feel sad about it.
I wanted a small, intimate wedding close to the beach at my FIL’s house. And I dont think that will happen. Im having a hard time getting excited to plan a party when I just feel so sad. I want to spend my life with my fiance, and a wedding just seems like chore that we have to get through first. My FI wants a traditional wedding with all the bells and whistles, so we are trying to compromise to make the day what we both want. But it’s hard, because our ideas are so different.
If you made it this far in my rambling…thank you! I am having a rough day and wanted to just write it out.
Post # 3
I am sorry that you feel this way. While planning a wedding should be an exciting time, it is also a very stressful one (even if you do have great family support). Since you have only been engaged for two weeks and your wedding date is still a while away, maybe you and your FI could decide to take a little time off from planning and just enjoy being engaged. Maybe time will work out some of the feeligns and issues that you are currently facing.
Good luck and hang in there.
Post # 4
Am I correct in that your wedding is almost 2.5 years away? If so, don’t worry about it now!!! Enjoy being engaged, and think about all this later. I know its hard, and so sorry for the loss of your dad, but maybe you have a close uncle, cousin, brother who could walk you down the aisle? Or, you could walk down with something to remember your dad by?
Post # 4
First of all congrats on the engagment! I think when we plan something really big and very important it makes us look at our selfs and we reflect on the different aspects of your life. It sounds like you are doing your very best to try to reach out to your sister. And all you can really do is keep trying! She may have someother reasons that you dont know of that has made her upset. For the wedding plans the key word is compromise! Other wise there will be arguing or someone is not going to get the wedding they want. Good luck with every thing!
Post # 5
Awww (( Hugs)) I’m sorry your so sad. I am pretty much in the same boat as you. My mom won’t be attending my wedding. I don’t have a father and realized throughout this planning process that I don’t let many people close to me. I keep most everyone at arms length emotionally which tends to be a double edged sword. The best advice I can give you is to know that people who love you and want to share in your happiness will be there no matter what. Choose quality over quantity and cherish the ones that do support you whole heartly
Wishing you all the best!
Post # 6
Thanks ladies. The wedding will be in Fall 2012. I fixed the date in my profile 🙂 We agreed to not plan anything until mid summer, but its hard because his family is SO excited and keep sending me ideas, pictures, etc. At this point we are just trying to enjoy the engagement time but in the back of my mind I cant get rid of these feelings.
Post # 7
Oh ok, that’s better! Maybe you can delegate to his family to help you out, especially on the things that you don’t truly care about. Maybe tell his family that for the next month, you jsut want to enjoy things and let them soak in, but after that you can’t wait to plan with them. Have a heart to heart, let them know your frustrations and sadness, and then let them help! Its awesome that they are such a great support system to you
Post # 8
So sorry about all your troubles! I agree with the other bees. Maybe you could focus on working out some issues with your sister. Sit down to dinner with her as well as FI and maybe you all could work something out. I am sure deep down she still loves you very much!
Just a thought, but how would it be if you got rid of FI’s dance with his mom all together, that way you wouldn’t feel so down. If not, perhaps your FFIL would love the opportunity to dance with you. As for walking down the isle, I know my mom would do it if I asked her to so why not give it a shot? Never know.
Post # 9
This one I read and truly felt your emotions. I’m so sorry. This sounds so sad.
Post # 10
@MrsSl82be: ya, they are a great support system. The problem is that they all live in different states. So the actual planning stuff they cant really help with.
@peacockbride24: I thought about it but i would never want to take that moment away from my FI and his mom. Its important to them and I totally understand. My little brother will be walking me down the aisle, but we wont be having a dance. I think it would just make me sad.
Ugh! I feel like such a downer lately! I feel so gulity-I have an amazing fiance, a beautiful home, a decent job, and a few close friends and yet I keep crying. The sister thing is the hardest part for me. I miss my dad, but I know he will be there in spirit. My sister on the other hand lives 30 minutes away and she couldnt be bothered with me. I don’t know how else to resolve it with her.