So sad and disappointed

posted 2 years ago in Home
Post # 2
Member
2891 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Daizy914: are you in the NYC metro area? Maybe it’s time to move to the suburbs?

to de stress I’m super into yoga, mindfulness and mediation. Anti-anxiety meds if it’s really bad. 

Since you’re putting off ttc, now is the perfect time to focus on your mental health and take care of you before you also have a tiny human in the mix. 

Post # 3
Member
2704 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

Daizy914:  Woot, Jan. 31 is my wedding date, haha.

It sounds like a good idea to wait a couple months to TTC, you don’t need baby taking on all that extra stress. Where do you live? Around where I live that much money is a mortgage payment easy! Totally makes sense to buy a house instead of throwing away money on rent.

Good luck!

Post # 5
Member
1896 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Daizy914:  Personally, I believe in establishing the living situation you will be in with a child before you have one.  I wouldn’t want to move if I was pregnant, and you’re limited on what sort of projects you can do around the house.  I also believe in doing so in order to ensure you can afford both the home and the child.  Children are very expensive and I think people get caught in situations where they’re needing to use credit constantly because the incoming cashflow only covers the bills, not the food/ clothes/activities.  So for us, we bought the house we want to raise a family in.  We’re working on building back up our savings now since we depleted a good deal of it on our down payment.  There is a certain number we want to hit in savings to protect us from unexpected unemployment.  Once that number is hit, the next round of savings will be preparation for {hopefully} baby fund.  But I know many people here believe “F it… We can make do with a 1 bedroom with a baby.” I am SO not one of those people.  I absolutely needed to have not just a room for a child, but a room for guests (for when my parents would visit). I wouldn’t have felt comfortable TTC without room to grow a family already established.

Post # 6
Member
1896 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Daizy914:  Wow I went off on a tangent there. I haven’t drank all my coffee yet and am slightly hungover LOL.

I just wanted to say I know exactly where you’re at.  We were in a situation where our lease was ending, the landlord was forcing us to commit to another year (even though our lease said we’d have an option for month to month).  So, we ended up pulling the money together fast as we could for a down payment and a house.  In the end, we got the house we loved and we’re so happy, but it was a small miracle we were able to pull it off. It was also VERY stressful because we didn’t prepare a ton before deciding to buy a house, so I was paranoid about having the mortgage fall through and ending up homeless.  To top it off, I was 5 weeks pregnant at closing so that added another layer of absolute worry (ended up losing the baby a week after moving in).

It is definitely a hard thing seeing a place you’d really like to live and not quite feeling comfortable with it financially.  It’s almost like breaking up with someone when you first start dating but you liked them a lot.  You’re not SURE it was the absolutely best thing for you, but to not even have a chance to find out is just sucky.  Hugs!

Post # 7
Member
8009 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

NYC is really hard- I feel you. We live wayyyy out in Queens practically LI so it’s a bit cheaper but it’s still pricey. I see my friends back home in IL complaining… “so pissed! My rent got hiked up to 550 a month!” UGHHHH. thatd be a dream. We’re moving to North Carolina when it’s bebe time. Lots of jobs, nature, and gorgeous housing. The 5 bedroom, one acre dream for like 300k. There just aren’t nice homes with in a decent commute for under a million it seems. And we do not want to be “house poor” with every penny going towards a mortgage in a crappy million dollar house. 

Post # 10
Member
8009 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

Daizy914:  if youre looking to buy Queens taxes are soooo much cheaper than LI. Were in Douglaston, its gorgeous and on the water on the Port Washington LIRR line and looks 100% suburban (because it is). So far out we have to LIRR not subway and that shit IS expensive!

Post # 11
Member
2661 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

 

MrsBuesleBee:  I love NC…

I swear, I will never, ever leave the South.  I live in the most expensive city in Kentucky and you can get a perfectly good house in a good school district for $250K.  $350 buys you all you could ever want or need, unless you’re super rich and want way more than I do!  I could not live in NYC.

Post # 12
Member
579 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Daizy914:  ugh! I have family in Brooklyn and LI. Its SOOO damn expensive! And the places are tiny, horribly tiny. My CIL in LI owns a nice townhouse, 3 floors, backyard and a community area with a pool. Its gorgeous. They bought that, because they work in the city, couldn’t afford a high mortgage but still wanted the perks of single family living. 

I hate to say it, but anywhere you live around NY, is going to cost at least $2k per month for a home including taxes and insurance, a mortgage can go up from just the cost of the house when you add in the extras. 

Post # 14
Member
2661 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

 

Daizy914:  It’s just so crazy expensive.  I don’t know how you girls in the NE do it!  It’s expensive enough here!

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