So sad.. for me, and my brother

posted 1 year ago in Emotional
Member
2451 posts
Buzzing bee

OMG this is horrible. Why is your brother marrying this woman. Does he know how she is? 

Member
5920 posts
Bee Keeper

Does he know about her plan that after they’re married, he won’t speak to you anymore? crazypants.

No matter how hard your life was that doesn’t mean you get to treat people like dirt, especially people who are supposed to become family

Member
1806 posts
Buzzing bee

@MeiFrancis:  +1

There is no excuse for that type of behavior from anyone. I have friends that have grown up in all different ways with all levels of education but if any of them acted this way I would be done. It’s too bad that this person just happens to be your FSIL…hopefully your brother comes to his senses BEFORE he marries her and the problem will be solved.

Member
17 posts
Newbee

Those are the worst types! I’m so sorry! There’s no excuse for that type of attitude.I would hate for my baby brothers to marry someone thinking that they would take them away from me. Uh not happening!

But good for you! I liked your response that he can’t divorce you :)  

Big big hugs to you!

Member
2575 posts
Sugar bee

She sounds CRAZY!  Best advice I have is to be the bigger person and just stay cordial toward her.  You don’t have to be best friends, but you also shouldn’t stoop to her low level of manners.

Member
1468 posts
Bumble bee

She definitely has insecurity and self esteem issues and and also sounds very immature.  I don’t blame you for removing her from the wedding party but I do feel sorry for her.  She needs some help.  You’re brother staying with her if he doesn’t want to be with her is not fair to either of them.  What a mess.  :(

Member
3321 posts
Sugar bee

good god not one of those “i’m with her because I feel sorry for her!” cases! Get him out NOW!

Member
2543 posts
Sugar bee

@strawbs:  +10000000!!

My ex’s brother married a woman he felt “sorry” for…she cheated (and continues to cheat) on that poor guy, gets drunk on a regular basis, and all sorts of piss-poor behavior, despite them having children together. She does that shit because she knows he will put up with it because he feels “sorry” for her.

Well, fuck that.

Member
373 posts
Helper bee

You feel bad because you are a good person and geuninely care for her feelings.  Sounds like your brother’s FI has some serious issues.  I’m not sure how some people are straight up rude, and don’t care.  I think its because they are incredibly selfish and insecure.  That’s a deadly combination because not only do they feel like everyone is out to get them, they also want to make sure they are always benefiting out of every situation.

I don’t really blame you for kicking her out.  Sometimes you have to do what is best for yourself and the people you love.  Don’t feel bad.  You better believe that if the shoe was on the other foot, she would have dropped you a long time ago. 

Member
1607 posts
Bumble bee

Ask her if she genuinely WANTS to be a part of your wedding… because honestly I would rather have uneven numbers than have someone who doesn’t want to be there with me to celebrate. She is being extremely childish, and you don’t want to look back in 10 years and be like, “Why was she in my wedding? She and my brother aren’t even together now!”

Member
141 posts
Blushing bee

Foster care and no mother?  She’s obviously never seen love of a family.  For what its worth, and it might or might not work, show her family love.  Write her a letter saying just what you told us….that you want her included but just as you would never let anyone treat her that way, you can’t let her treat your friends in a rude manner, so while you want her a part of your day and your life, IN THIS HOUSE we are kind and loving and respectful.  If she wants in, open your arms and give her another chance.  If she screws up, could you smile the first time and let it go?  Second time, remind her that in this house we care and treat each other nice.  I believe in consequences to bad actions, and also that NOT fighting is sometimes more effective than fighting.  If she’s ugly she would have to leave. Show her to be included in the fun is worth being nice.  I know in real life it is probably easier said than done, but if your brother is serious it might be worth the effort.  You sound so sweet and caring, your whole family and I can’t imagine that wouldn’t rub off on someone like her.  She really sounds like a scared kid honestly.

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