Post # 1
OK I’m already crying as I write this but it has become all too real now with my FI and I engaged that my father will not be with us. He passed away from liver cancer last September (three days after my birthday) and I had always dreamed of the day when he would be giving me away. It breaks my heart so much that I will not see his smiling face when I finally get married. I will instead be letting my mother give me away and I will be wearing the necklace he bought me when he knew he was diagnosed. I also want to get a photo of him framed and put at the table that I will be sitting at.
Sorry it’s a sad post but I wanted to know if anyone else has sadly not been able to have their father give them away.
Post # 3
- Wedding: May 2014 - Smithfield Center
I am so sorry. -HUGS- I haven’t lost my father (even though he and I don’t have a close relationship) but I did lose my uncle to cancer and feel your loss. My uncle and I were fairly close and it didn’t hit me how hard I would miss him being at my wedding until I actually started planning it. I think having a sign at your table and wearing the necklace is a good way to keep him in your heart on your special day. There are also photo frames you can get and add to your bouquet if you wanted to do that, as well.
I’m so so sorry. I know how hard it is to not have someone close to you be there on your day, but I’m sure your father will be there in spirit and would want you to enjoy your day.
Post # 4
I know I think it will be nice to have a photo of him there smiling so it’s as though he is with me. I will be visiting his grave on Father’s Day after i’ve finished a charity run for cancer on the same day and I will show him my engagement ring too 🙂
Post # 5
@mishy: I’m very sorry to hear of your loss. It hits close to home for me because my dad is battling very aggressive stomach cancer right now and it’s not looking good for him. I’m coming to terms with the fact that he may not be around for my April 2014 wedding.
I think wearing the necklace is a beautiful way to honor him. Maybe you can also carry a picture of him in a locket and incorporate it into your jewelry or wedding bouquet, or include some fabric from his ties or handkerchiefs on your bouquet’s stem wrap.
Again, I’m sorry that you’re going through this. 🙁
Post # 6
I completely understand how you feel. I lost my father almost 4 yrs ago to cancer as well. After that I said I was not getting married because he would not be there to walk me down the aisle. I cant even have my mother walk me because she passed away 6 months ago. So its almost like I have noone. But I am going to have there pictures to honor them. I know that they are not there to be with me in the physical but they are with me in spirit. Just like your dad is too. I hope that makes you feel a little better. I am here if you ever need to talk.
Post # 7
Thank you for your lovely messages, NeverMoreLenore I really like the idea of incorporating some piece of his clothing in the wedding. I am also going to get my sister to drive me in my dad’s old car too which would be bittersweet as I drove it when we went to his funeral.
Post # 8
@mishy: My wedding is fast approaching and the hardest thing I have had to deal with is not having my dad around. It’s hard to believe but it’ll be six years in October since we lost the big guy. And I still cry when I really think about him (like now).
Since I was a little girl, I wanted my daddy to walk me down the aisle when I found the right guy. Well the right guy didn’t appear until years after my father’s death. Luckily, I have a great older brother who is going to take the honor and walk me down the aisle. I still wanted to include my dad in my big day though cause I know he is looking down on me.
I will be having a small locket of him on my flowers as I walk down the aisle. I plan then to fasten that locket to a chain and wear it for the rest of the night. That way he is right there watching his baby getting married. I also plan to have something set up the reception as a memory to him and plan on having the pastor say a word or two about people who couldn’t be there.
Big hugs to you. I know it’s not easy. But hold on to the fact that your dad loved you and he’d be really happy for you on your big day!
Post # 9
@mishy: We are all here to let you know that you are not alone. 🙂
Post # 10
@mishy: hi, I just want to say how sorry I am, my father died ten years ago and even now I still struggle every time I think about it.
i think there isn’t really anything that will make you steel better and will fill that void on yor day, I plan to do a couple of things to remember him on my day, I also have a bracket of his that I kept when he died so I will wear that too.
I think it’s important to take a minute before the chaos starts and just have a moment to think of him xxx
Post # 11
I completely understand. My dad died four years ago. It was sudden, but thankfully in his sleep. One of the first thoughts I had when he died was who was going to walk me down the aisle. I’m his oldest daughter (of 3) so he’s not here to walk any of us down the aisle. I think I will have my stepdad do it, but I’ll still probably be a mess the day of. I have cried during every father/daughter dance I’ve had to watch since he died. I want to have something of his incorporated into my dress or bouquet so part of him is there with me, but my stepmom won’t give any of us anything that was his. But I do think I will have something, like a picture, to represent him.
Post # 12
My father died when I was a teenager and has missed many events in my life. I’ve always thought about him not being there at my wedding to walk me down the aisle and especially the father/daughter dance. Find a way to honor him and know he’ll be there in spirit.
Post # 13
i know how you guys feel my dad died almost 12 years ago, i got engaged couple of months ago and the first thing it came to my head was he is no gonna be here and oh boy it is hard…….
i had thought about it before and i had said it to my mum that she would have to walk with me but i only had that empty feeling now that it is actually happening.
it will be hard but it will ok
Post # 14
- Wedding: March 2012 - Father's Vineyard Church/ A Touch of Class Banquet Center
My father passed away suddenly four months before the wedding, it was one of the hardest times in my life. Instead of having anyone else walk me down the aisle, I got a bouquet charm with my father’s picture on it and walked myself halfway down the aisle and had Mr. D meet me and walk me the rest of the way. I cried going down the aisle and for me it just wasn’t really obvious that my dad wasn’t there until that moment. I’m so sorry that you have to go through this. Know that your father will be there with you in spirit. Hugs!
Post # 15
Hi there, I’m so sorry for your loss. I know exactly how you feel. We’re trying to rush our date so my father can be there, he has pancreatic cancer and we aren’t sure how much longer he’ll be here, let alone walk a few steps.