Post # 1
Well, it is over.. we are married!
The ceremony was beautiful; the reception was fun.
Or so I am told.. I don’t remember a thing! It all went by SO quickly. So I said to myself, “at least there are lots of pictures.”
But what I have realized is that there isn’t actually going to be as many as I thought, because in the midst of choosing font style, ribbon color, center pieces, pouring over hair and makeup ideas, and stressing over other now seemingly small things, I didn’t make a photo list.
I read that I should; I pinned cute ideas all over pinterest; I just didn’t do it.
And now I have massive regrets.
There are so many important photos that weren’t taken. I think part of me assumed the photographer would just get them. And in the moment, I actuallly completely forgot to ask. I was so overwhelmed throughout the whole day.. it was such a busy day! And so now I have missed out on getting photos that were decidely precious to me.
So my advice to everyone is make that photo list. Go overboard with it. Take the time (and it takes a long time) to get all the photos you want. Not only will you be able to more clearly remember the day, but it will also allow you to spend time with your guests.
Post # 3
@gm234: A good photographer neither needs nor wants a photo list. A good photographer knows exactly how to capture your big day. All of the photographers I know kindly tell the bride that they don’t have time to be cross-referencing a list–they are too busy taking pictures! So don’t sweat it.
Post # 4
@gm234: Don’t waste all this negative energy worrying, when you have no idea what pictures you will have. Wait until you get your proofs from the photographer.
Post # 5
@ceebree: I have to disagree with that. Photographers don’t want a giant list of every shot that you want or that you’ve seen on Pinterest. But I think most absolutely want to know what parts of your wedding are important to you and what is high priority to be photographed. For instance, your photographer won’t know that the ceremony guitarist is actually a good friend, not a vendor, unless you tell them! And if you spent a lot of time on DIY for a few specific items, you should absoltuely let your photog know what details you’re proud of. I think they usually like a list of family photos as well, because they don’t know your family! They can’t photograph it all, they need priorities. So I agree with OP and think a basic list of priorities is good.
OP – are the photos you’re missing people or detail shots? I realized I didn’t get a picture of our invitations (my fault, I forgot to bring them for the photographer) so I just took some shots at home. They aren’t as nice as my pro photog would have done, but they serve the purpose of reminding me of the cute invitations we made. Or you could even just save some of those kinds of details!
Post # 6
@ceebree: +100. If you hired a decent photographer in the first place you will have good pics.
Post # 7
@gm234: I agree, a good photographer will get 99% of the images that you had hoped they’d get. But it also depends on your expectations – I’m finding that even with 2 shooters being there the whole day I’m STILL dissappointed with some of the images we didn’t remember to get. But I also know that my expectations were probably higher than most.
Also, I think it’s pretty common to knit-pick about what went wrong once the wedding is all over. I actually have nightmares about the smallest things that I was disappointed about. It’s silly really, but bc it was so much of a build up to the wedding I think I’m having all of these crazy feelings now that it’s done.
Post # 8
@gm234: No regrets allowed! Sure you might have liked to look back over your centerpieces or other little parts of your wedding day, but as long as your photog got some amazing shots of you and your guy and family, that’s what matters. Regrets are useless!
Post # 10
@JenGirl: I totally agree that it’s good to let the photographer know who’s important (I love my mom but I hate my dad type of thing), but I don’t think that extends to an actual list of pictures to get. I have worked for three photographers. I guess we’ll just have to agree to disagree.
Post # 11
I don’t know if that’s true. We hired a phenomenal photographer, I have seen her work on lots of different weddings and she still asked us to make a shot list as part of our pre-planning. She said that while she is always watching for moments, she wants to make sure they get the shots that really matter to us.
A shot list isn’t the sign of a bad photographer, some definitely encourage it.
Post # 12
@ceebree: but all of that to say… to each their own. I totally understand those that fly with no list. 🙂
Post # 13
@ceebree: Fair enough! I think it really comes down to what your, specific photographer prefers. If they can keep everything straight in their head, I guess they wouldn’t need a list. Probably a matter of preference on the part of the photog.
Post # 14
I’ve heard from photographers that shot lists can make things more difficult for them, they don’t need to be told how to do their jobs. Also, a lot of ideas on pinterest are very situational.. meaning you may want something and its impossible to get based on location/ lighting/ photographers style/ etc.
I wouldn’t waste energy on this.
Post # 15
If it makes you feel any better, this kinda happened to me. While the pictures of my husband and I turned out great, that’s really all there is…not many detail pics, no pictures of the venue (and ours was gorgeous!), and all the pictures of the guests are just of everyone milling or standing around. You can’t really see anyone’s face, nobody is smiling for the camera, etc. Just going by the pictures you would think that the only people in attendance were me and my husband and his friends and family. Oh, and our flower girl and ring bearer. That’s it. I would have loved some pictures of my family–some of whom I doubt will be with us much longer–or even better, some pictures where I or Darling Husband is smiling and posing with our guests. I was really surprised at the lack of variety in our pictures and to be totally honest I was kinda bummed about it. That was a day that’ll never happen again, you know? But you’ll probably feel better as time goes by–after all, there are other occasions like holidays and things to get pictures with your nearest and dearest. That’s not to say it doesn’t suck and I’m like you, I would recommend that any bride sit down with her photographer well beforehand and at least delineate what is and is not important so that he or she knows what you’d like to see most pictures of. (I mean, selfies of my photographer wasn’t exactly high on my list, but I got one, you know?) I really wish I had done that too but there’s really no sense in stewing over it–it can’t be changed. I’ve heard a lot of married ladies I know complain about their pictures, so unfortunately I guess we’re in the majority.
Post # 16
I’m a photographer and I can see both sides. I do work off a small list, but here’s what I usually tell my clients:
– Background on family members – who is really important, who are the grandparents, what are combos I need to avoid
– I create a shot list during the family shoot period so we finish these photos usually in 15 minutes
– Details that the bride & groom definitely want captured that are really unique. For example I get all the invitations and paper and centerpieces, but I wouldn’t have any idea that a bride is wearing an extra ring that is a family heirloom, that’s something I wouldn’t know
– Certain locations they don’t want to miss that are special to their venue
– Special shots that require a lot of time to set up (I’m known for a particular image but it takes time to set up)
– Exit images – sometimes I don’t always stay until the end but if there’s a sparkler exit, well, that’s a whole nother story!
– Pinterest-inspired images that are not possible to do with this client’s wedding (wrong time of day, not the same location, not the same kind of lighting)
– Very basic stuff like “father walking bride down the aisle”, “first kiss”, “bride getting into dress”
OP, I’m sorry to hear that you are anxious over your images. I would stop thinking about it and wait until you see the images, and focus on the positive!