Post # 1
I just talked to my Fiance about plan for honeymoon. I mentioned about going to Cancun for a week and his answer is “I’ve been there, it was nothing to do in Cancun besides the beach and you don’t know how to swim” He said that every time I asked about a trip to Jamaica, Cancun, or anything in the South America
What hurts me is that he was in Mexico with his ex before, just the 2 of them. This may sound funny but I’ve never been to a trip with my Fiance exclusively. Trips that we went to includes his family or our friends. So we don’t have that memory together on a trip. I don’t want to compare myself with his ex, but I really feel uneasy whenever I think about that. Now it makes me want to not visit anything in the south anymore 🙁
Another thing I don’t like about my Fiance : he doesn’t initiate the planning for anything. I do it every single time. From picking the e-ring, choosing the color of our wedding, wedding invitation (I DIY it and he didnt help with anything), and now honey moon plan. I feel tired and as if the wedding is just my wedding.
I am really sad 🙁
Post # 3
tell him you want his help that it is his wedding too.
you will make new memories in these places. where do you want to go on your honeymoon?
Post # 4
Is there something holding you back from learning to swim? You have quite a lot of time to learn.
Post # 5
Sit down and talk to him and let him know how you feel. Even if you think you’ve hinted enough to him that he should know he might not.
Tell him you really want to go somewhere trpoical for your honeymoon. You do not need to know how to swim to want to go to a tropical place. There is a lot you can do and even snorkeling/kayak trips will give you life vests if you want. And sitting on the beach reading a book/having a yummy drink don’t require knowing how to swim. Neither does wading in the pool or hiking to a beautiful waterfall or ziplining or a bunch of other things you can do in these places that doesn’t involve you swimming.
Post # 6
totally, there are other options for tropical places that have many non-swimming activities. Hawaii? Places with hiking? Who says you have to swim like an olympian at the beach anyway? Most people actually only go in to their waist anyway, and if you go to a sheltered beach theres not any waves to worry about so I dont see what the big deal is.
You need to talk with him. Perhaps ask him what he envisions for the honeymoon? Maybe start a tradition of your own going somewhere neither of you have been to? But if he says you two cant go there then ask him where he thinks you should go.
Btw, it is rare for a man to initiate anything wedding… Although I have a lot of input from my Fiance, I really have to dig it out of him. Mostly I get it eventually because our wedding is because he wants the party, if I had my way we’d elope, so Im not really fussed and so Im kinda forcing him to say what he wants And we do that. so dont worry too much about it. Maybe give him full control over some aspects like what he and his bestmen wear?
Post # 7
@goldfish2308: I’ve been to Cancun twice.. just got back from my Honeymoon there actually. There is a lot to do in Cancun besides sit on the beach. Maybe do some research and show him all the stuff you can do there that doesn’t involve swimming in the ocean. We had a WONDERFUL time and can’t wait to go back!
Post # 8
That must be hard. I suggest a place you both can agree on. & I would sit him down and be like heres a list of places possibility places I want to go, help pick because I want to hear YOUR opinion. && You never mentioned Hawai, have you ever thought of going there?
Post # 9
Ok, first and foremost…
STOP beating yourself up over this stuff.
# 1 – Guys aren’t typically that interested in Wedding Planning… and usually not all the details (despite the fact that us gals feel compelled to share with them). They are pretty basic creatures, they just want to know what it is THEY HAVE TO DO. So WHERE to be – WHEN – WHAT to Wear – WHO to pay etc.
# 2 – Traditionally the Bride (and her family) plan the Wedding, the Groom plans the Honeymoon (and MANY men take great pride in this endeavour). You need to sit down with him and point blank ask him “Honey do you have this?” OR if the two of you are going to be working on this project together.
# 3 – You NEED to tell him more about your feelings. And your wishes & desires when it comes to travel (vactions, getaways & travels are a HUGE element that a couple can share together… discover new things, sightsee, have cool adventures etc).
I GET that you are not that jazzed by the fact that he took an Ex to Mexico (BUT hey, he ain’t marrying her !!). So I understand WHY you wouldn’t want to necessarily Honeymoon there. I didn’t want to go anywhere on our Honeymoon that either Mr TTR or I had been to as Encores with our previous SOs and certainly no where that we’d ever Honeymooned before !!
That said, I think you are being a tad ridiculous writing off the entire South / Caribbean… for the sake of one or two Destinations (there are literally 1000s of Islands in the Caribbean). That is cutting off your nose to spite your face.
And the GOOD NEWS… You can enjoy the Caribbean without having to know how to swim. There is TONS to see and do !! Infact you can even enjoy a lot of water sports… for example, snorkelling… most places make you wear a life vest anyhow… so you automatically float. Then you just kick your feet / fins and you are off and moving.
Hope this helps,
Post # 10
So take swimming lessons! View the honeymoon as a chance to expand your horizons. And, for Pete’s sake, talk to him about your concerns and disappointments!
Post # 11
Ask him where he’s thinking of going. It’s possible he has it all planned out and wants to surprise you (I said possible, not likely). But, if he’s been to Mexico with a previous girlfriend, he probably doesn’t want to go with you – he probably wants to go somewhere new that will be unique and special for the two of you. So, try to get him to tell you what he thinks is a perfect honeymoon for you two. Be more general. Don’t ask where specifically, but ask what kind of trip he would want to take, and what kinds of things he wants to do. Maybe he’d rather go to Europe than the beach.
Post # 12
We took a trip to a little “green” (environmentally) resort outside of Puerto Vallarta where there was no electricity — so no phone/internet and you had to take a boat to get there. There was nothing to do except sit around (thanks to the jellyfish), and it was amazing.
Post # 13
@goldfish2308: Maybe he is trying to be considerate RE the honeymoon. If he knows you can’t swim, he may think a trip to the Caribbean wouldn’t be much fun for you. Tell him you think it would be if you want to go!
As for the planning…It seems most women are in that boat. I am the opposite – Fiance plans everything. If he was resentful about it, I hope he would tell me though (he likes doing it).
Post # 14
@goldfish2308: what does your fi want to do on your honeymoon? ask him what types of things he thinks he may want to experience. discuss some of the things that you want to do as well. sun and sand? culture? adventure? shopping? water sports? all of these things are available in cancun or just south along the riviera maya.
Post # 15
@jessicaandjames5914: I did mentioned about Hawaii. He said he’s been there on a business trip before (with another ex or not is beyond me). He said beach is beach everywhere !!!???!!! It does not make a difference to him.
Because we are having a wedding in China (I know, I didn’t like it at the beginning but because friends and family will be able to gather there. His grandparents and relatives are there), he suggested we spent 1 week after the wedding with family, then the last week we will go to different places in China together as a couple. China trip is not what I envisioned my honeymoon. He feel more comfortable having honeymoon there because he speaks the language. But I don’t! And he said it takes too much time and effort to plan honeymoon somewhere else
I questioned him about Europe options like France or Italy. His answer? “we don’t speak the language. How are we about to go around the cities? Are we going on a tour? I’m not sure about that” I was thinking to myself that so we won’t go anywhere besides China and an English speaking country !?! And then I asked him why did he go to Mexico with his ex then. He replied “it was her idea, not mine”
I feel soooo bitter and upset for the whole afternoon 🙁
Post # 16
I got frustrated with my SO when wedding planning but the fact is… Most guys don’t care about the color or flower or invite details. It’s just a man thing I guess.
As far as comparing the two relationships… The best thing to do is s-t-o-p.
He is marrying you, remember that. You are going to be his wife, not his ex. Maybe he doesn’t want to go to South America area because he simply doesn’t want to be down there? Maybe it has nothing to do with her but he just wasn’t impressed really or just wants something different?
Maybe consider going somewhere non carribbean. Maybe go to Colorado, California, NYC, vegas, there are tons of places. Hawaii? That’s just to name a few. Maybe try to broaden your search instead of one area or one kind of honeymoon look for other more unique places to visit. Heck I’d have been happy with a road trip across country with my fiance. We had a great time on our honeymoon last week but I think we would have had even more fun if we’d just have gone on a road trip and hit up a bunch of tourist spots across the country. Think ourside your box. Ask him if there are any other places because the South America territory that he may want to go or do.