Post # 1
I’ve been engaged for about 1 1/2 months, dating my fiance for almost 5 years! We are sooo excited, and I love planning and everything. My mom is my best friend, I’m 23 and have never moved out, I stayed while going to college and then all through nursing school. We do and share so much together. My HEART hurts so much when I think about leaving her, especially since her and my dad having been going through rough patches for the last year. I start crying (hysterically) and can’t stop! My FI sees me, and says its TWO transitions (getting married and moving out) at the same time and that its ok to be this sad. I don’t want to make him feel bad, I can’t wait to marry him, but I just cry and cry (uncontrollably!) whenever I think about “leaving” her. I will be moving one hour away. This is the only thing making me feel so depressed when it comes to planning our wedding. And its out of my control.
Post # 3
Aw… it will be hard but remember that you’re not walking away from her, you’re walking towards your husband to-be. And that is what she wants for you, I am sure. She can still be your bff, you’ll just have to transition to phone calls and weekend shopping trips rather than chats over ice cream on tuesday nights.
Post # 4
I think your fiance hit the nail on the head – this is two transitions for you, and that’s a lot of change! Take comfort in the fact that your fiance is clearly a wonderful guy for being understanding and caring, and remember that your mom is still there for you. What if you set weekly lunch dates with your mom up so that you know she will still be a constant in your life? When FI and I moved in together, his dad made it a point to come take us to lunch whenever he was in the city for work, and still does sometimes. It’s such a nice way to stay in touch and share a bit of our lives with each other.
Don’t forget to let your FI know how much you appreciate how understanding he’s being! Even something small like a little note saying you’re counting down the days will probably make him feel wonderful.
Post # 5
I know how you feel; i’m super close to my mom, too. It’s good for you, though! And you might be surprised and how much closer you and your mom become =]. An hour away is NOTHING, I promise. You can still visit for lunch and everything! Or meet halfway!
Post # 6
*hugs* I know that feeling all too well. My parents are 400 miles away and have been for 5 years and I STILL talk to my mom most days (5-6/7 days a week). They are coming up to visit nexy week and I am SO EXCITED! And then we’re going down there for a week. Lots of mom time, during which boyfriend had better talk to my dad, cause it’ll be the last time he sees them before when we’re supposed to get engaged!
Post # 7
it’s definitely hard to leave, but remember that you and your FH will have your own family, so no matter how much your mom is your best friend, you have to keep you and FH relationship separate and more important. i’ve moved in and out of my house throughout the years and i’m still struggling with this notion! good luck!
Post # 8
That’s tough. I haven’t lived with my mom for four years, but before I moved 1000 miles away, I BAWLED like a frickin’ baby! I never thought I would do that…but Moms are awesome. Maybe you could do something really special for her as a gift at your wedding. I’m writing my mom a bunch of letters about how much she means to me and binding them into a book for her to keep. Something like that could be a good process for you to go through as you prepare for your 2 transitions. (:
Post # 9
Oh I feel your pain. 🙁 I can sort of relate to your situation because I moved away from home about 8 months ago. My fiance and I had a long distance relationship, since I lived in Florida and he’s always been here in Dallas. I finally moved over here after I graduated last Fall, and it’s been pretty hard. I miss my family and friends (have none here), but I miss my Mom the most. I cry too, sometimes. So far I’ve seen her twice since I left, and I used to see her every day. It definitely hurts my heart, but I have hope that I’ll move back to FL. as soon as my FI gets a job transfer.
Look on the bright side- you’ll only be an hour away and you can visit often. As often as you’d like. Or consider moving closer, if that’s an option.
Post # 10
I totally get it.
My mom is one of my best friends too & I’ll be moving 3000 miles from her to another country! I think we’re both in denial that it’s happening…
I take it that you’ve become your moms sounding board when it comes to her marital problems?? Are you scared she won’t be able to cope without you or is it really that you can’t cope without her??
I would definitely consider talking to a counselor!! They can help you with these big life changes 🙂