SO still hasn't started the ring process…advice??

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
515 posts
Busy bee

@blushblossom91:  I have dealt with this EXACT problem. Honestly, guys just dont know how long it takes to get a ring. I had to sit down with my SO and explain how the process works and about how long it takes. He had no idea but now I’m glad we had tha discussion because he bought the ring! So my advice is to have a discussion with him about it. you can wait for a time when he brings up marriage, etc so that the convo flows easily and he won’t feel like you are attacking him.

Post # 5
Member
1625 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@blushblossom91:  resetting doesn’t take very long, but the custom process does for sure! I started talking to our jeweler in November going over details, decided to start. December 5th we got our first CAD, I tweaked a bunch of stuff and approved the final design on the 14th. They barely got the finished ring yesterday, and it will get to us Monday. So it’s been almost a full month since the first CAD, but almost two since we started.  Which really isn’t bad, but definitely took longer than we expected, I guess! We expected to be engaged by the end of 2013, but the ring didnt make it! 

If you’re really concerned, I say bring it up. Try not to be too pushy but mention that it takes a long time. Guys really don’t get it most times, you’re right! 

Post # 6
Member
525 posts
Busy bee

Haha, the custom process definitely takes time. My FI actually missed the date he had initially intended to propose because of foundry problems. Guys just need to be told things very directly. It really isn’t too much of an issue and won’t step on toes. Just give him a heads up. 

Post # 7
Member
2057 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - British Columbia

I think a proposal without a ring could be just as equally cute AND romantic. 🙂 After all, your SO will be your brightest diamond.

It’s essentially a transition to be celebrated! (Between a relationship and marriage)

Looking back, I wish I didn’t try to control my FI so much about rings. I would’ve gotten something much better had I not meddled. (Long story short, I always seem to sabotage my FI’s proposal plans, ha ha)

Post # 8
Member
120 posts
Blushing bee

@Cynderbug:  I humbly disagree. I stupidly accepted not one but two proposals from a guy without a ring, each proposal a year apart. I regret being so low maintenance,  because the guy ended up stringing me along just to dump me in the end and date new girls right afterward (and it wouldn’t surprise me if he’d been cheating too). Later I found out he never told his friends about me being a so-called fiancé. I suspect he only proposed in order to keep my hopes high so that I’d stay celibate (he wasn’t having sex with me in this relationship, pathetic I know, but he didn’t want me meeting new guys either, even after our final breakup he told me he wanted me to wait WTF) and so I wouldn’t pursue child support. So because of that crummy experience, I am now expecting a ring with any proposal or my answer is no. I think a ring shows commitment and planning. If a fuy is willing to invest the time and money it takes to budget and plan a ring, then it shows that he’s pretty serious. Anyone can just SAY “would you marry me”.

 

 

 

 

 

Post # 9
Member
411 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

From what it seems, you guys are very serious and does it matter if he proposes with a ring? My other half wanted to propose earlier but didn’t because he wanted a ring. I told him I didn’t need one and was happy to wait but he was adamant. Maybe have that chat before having the chat about hurrying him up. 🙂 

You know him better than us though – perhaps he’s being sneaky? Mr. Burko tries to be sneaky; isn’t and then surprises me with something out of the blue. It’s like he distracts me with something small and then brings on the big thing! 

My custom ring only took six weeks or so. Yes, my partner and I had been into the shop twice before than but that was just so he could get an idea of what I liked. 

Post # 10
Member
515 posts
Busy bee

@blushblossom91:  I completely understand the frustration. Maybe next time he brings it up, suggest going to talk to jeweler together about it? That way he will get an idea about the timeline to get a ring made and you will have better piece of mind. Also, this way, he wont feel like you are trying to take over the ring buying process because you are only going to the jeweler to discuss time; not picking anything out.

Post # 11
Member
2057 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - British Columbia

@ihope2014isbetter:  Typically, I would test a guy to see how serious he is about commitment before saying yes to a proposal without a ring. Y’know, all talk, no action.

Strange! My first boyfriend tried pulling that on me as well — to try get into my pants. It must be like a player’s smooth card. So yeah, always test a guy for his seriousness to commit. (My mom’s advice)

In my case, I would’ve gotten a better quality solitaire diamond (FI’s preference) instead of 3 small ones, which I picked when we were ring shopping together.

Post # 12
Member
1441 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@blushblossom91:  You say he banned you from any part of the process…. so let it go and let him do his thing.

Post # 15
Member
425 posts
Helper bee

That’s great! It’s so thoughtful of him to have already looked at your Pinterest.

Post # 15
Member
124 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

I’d send him an article detailing the custom jewelry designing process.  That way you don’t have to have the conversation and can continue pretending like it’s a “BIG SURPRISE” (if that is in fact what you are doing!).

Leave a comment


Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors