(Closed) So stressed/angry I have veins popping out of my neck.

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
5242 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

Honestly I’m in the same boat and sometimes I just want to run to Vegas and get married!! LOL It would be so much easier! Unlike you I still have over a year to sort out all my wedding stuff but it has been nothing but stressful as I’m doing all my FI’s religious traditions and not mine and some of them are weird. He doesnt care either way but his parents do.

I know it can be frustrating but I think you just need to sit your Fiance down and let him know the stress you are feeling and that you need his support during this time. If there is a problem with his mom maybe he should try to talk to her instead of you. Your wedgin should be an enjoyable tme and not a major stress fest!! Good luck!! 

Post # 4
355 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

woo! sorry your dealing with this! i understand the difficult inlaws… it looks to me like you need a little break to get away from it all… have maybe i good sit down talk with the fi about everything too. Go pamper yourself for a day, eat a little chocolate, take a hot bath, get a massage etc…  good luck with everything!

Post # 5
248 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m in the UK and parents do usually sit at the head table.  I had one at my first wedding  in 1989 and both sets of parents did.  It was actually the last time I saw my father, but that’s another story…

I suppose this is what happens when you mix two cultures. You may have to compromise on one or the other, just to be fair…either have the parents at the head table, or the aunt and uncle, but not both, for example.

I’d leave getting the info from your Future Mother-In-Law to you Fiance.  Make it crystal clear to him that if you don’t get the information soon, no one will be getting invites.

Regarding where you and your Fiance will be living after the wedding…do you not have your own residences already?  Can you not live together in one of them and then buy?  

Showers…we don’t have them in the UK as a rule, so I can’t advise on that.

Good luck!

Post # 6
4194 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

First of all, do NOT add house hunting on top of all this. Seriously- marriage and moving are two of the biggest life stressers- since you *can* push one to the back burner, do it! Rent for 6 months or a year- even if you found something now, getting in to a new home in 3 months is pushing it. Also-if Fiance just opened a new business and is self-employed, getting a loan may be harder than you thought (up until last year I was in new home sales, and a lot of my self-employed buyers had issues w/ mortgages)- so do yourself a huge favor and get pre-approved first- you should do this before you even think about looking at homes.

Do you already have the invitations? Then that’s all you need to worry about. The ceremony programs, if you have to, can be done in Word last minute and printed out on a color printer-no one will keep/remember them-just to help put that in perspective. 🙂 Agreed that Fiance needs to get his act together picking out groomsmen- they need to order their clothes soon!

I’ve never seen parents at a head table, either-they sit with their friends/other family members.

Are you having kids at the wedding? If not, your Mom needs to tell the shower guests no-otherwise they’ll assume it’s ok that those kids come to the wedding, as well.

And a little chocolate can never hurt!

Post # 7
5494 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2011

Wow that’s a lot to handle all at once.

First off, think about having a sweetheart table instead of a head table to avoid the drama.

Second, if the Future Mother-In-Law is not providing you with the ceremony info either call the officiant and get it yourself or skip the programs all together or jus don’t include the ceremony details.

Third: it’s awesome that you are being so comprosing about the ceremony happening in their church.  However the traditions end at the church doors.  The reception is just a party so dont’ let them bully you into doing anything becaise “it’s tradition.”  There is nothing sacred about it.  Just like it’s tradition to throw the bouquet but it’s also totally skippable.  


Fourth: I agree with PP.  Buying a house and planning a wedding at the same time is INSANE.  Trust me I just did both back to back and can’t imagine doing them at the same time.


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