Post # 1
My FI and I had a fight last night, the topic is so stupid but it still stings. We were talking about rating people and he rated me a 4! I was so shocked! First of all, I rated both of us between 7-8. We are not super models but we are not unattractive either! I take a lot care of myself and my appearance; hair, makeup, clothes, health/weight concious. He says that I’m beautiful but compared to the whole world I’m a 4.. I’m just hurt. For the record he said he was a 4 too. I just feel shitty thinking that in his eyes I am below average attractive. I don’t care about what anyone else thinks but him.. I want to be the most beautiful in his eyes. He said I was a baby for being hurt and even letting it bother me. He yelled and said I was a child and a baby and I went to bed without saying anything, this morning I left without a word while he was sleeping.. I feel weird because I’ve never done that. Am I overreacting? Am I being a baby? Needless to say.. I feel ugly today.
Post # 3
He tried to give an honest answer to a silly question. Hard to get mad at him for that.
Post # 4
Wow.. That would indeed hurt. I don’t know what to say.
I don’t think he meant to hurt your or anything, he was probably just being way too down to earth. I mean if you compare to all the models and celebrities out there that are just stunning, they take all the numbers from 6 to 10… That would leave only 1 to 5 for the rest of us normal people, and out of that he gave you a 4. Which is great if you see it that way.
That’s the only way I can explain his thinking to myself… Hopefully this is how he sees it?
Post # 5
@octoberbaby: *HUGS* I’d be hurt too. I’m sure he didn’t mean it that way, but you still have every right to be hurt. I think this might be more of a reflection of how he sees himself, and not so much how he sees you. Hopefully you can explain to him why this hurt you and the two of you can talk it out.
Post # 6
I’d be hurt, too. But, at least he ranked himself a 4, too! I don’t think he meant it the way he came out. I do think you’re being a bit overly sensitive – there are always going to be people more attractive than us and less attractive than us. At the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter. He loves you and thinks you’re beautiful – that’s what matters. You’d be lying if you said you have never seen a more attractive guy than your FI.
What I do see as an issue is his response. He was not very sensitive to your feelings. He didn’t need to call you a baby and get angry. Just try to explain to him why it hurt you – he will probably be more understanding when it’s not in the heat of the moment.
Also, let this be a lesson – don’t ask questions you might not want to know the answer to! 😉
Also, never let someone else’s opinion affect the way you feel about yourself. As long as you think you are beautiful that’s all that matters!
Post # 7
Hell if DH told me that i would be heartbroken… but maybe he did think what @mommytobee: said…
I think he should apologize…
Post # 8
@octoberbaby: a pp said it best. there are some STUNNING looking people in this world and since they take the top tier us normal folks, good looking or not, fall more in the average category. I by no means am an ugly chick, but I would probably be a 4 or 5 when you consider whats out there. by my standards fi is a 10 🙂 but to the world it probably wouldn’t be that high and would be more in line with average. I understand being hurt by it but I wouldn’t drag this on for much longer.
Post # 9
Men say the dumbest things sometimes.
Post # 11
Ugh, I would be hurt too. I don’t think you’re overreacting at all.
Your FI is an idiot. He should have said you were a 10 in his eyes. His calling you a baby is another stupid move. But men can be really stupid.
Post # 12
@MrsWBS: What I do see as an issue is his response. He was not very sensitive to your feelings. He didn’t need to call you a baby and get angry.
While this is true, I suspect he felt backed into a corner. A trap and one of those ever scared “no right answer” questions. Calling her a baby was inappropriate, but I totally get getting angry.
Its also all relative. At a hospital they ask you to name your pain between a 1-10. Its all about how you rate the top level of being in pain of being gorgeous. I
s the pain having each of your limbs ripped off withou benefit of medication or waking up from surgery with a light dose of medicine?
Is being 10 some unknown gorgeous person that likely exists that we have never seen? Was he being a bit analytical? OK so you are pretty or he is handsome but less than 50% of the worlds hypothetically best looking person. If he was thinking like that than a 4 is a fair estimate thru calculation.
Post # 13
Sounds like a childish game to play so getting upset about something so stupid is why he called you a baby.
Post # 14
I don’t think you’re being stupid… I would be super hurt if my bf said that about me! He should think you’re a 10!
Post # 15
Is your SO an engineer? Mine is, as is all his friends (and groomsmen). I could see them saying something like this; all scientific and practical. Don’t they realize we want then to lie lie LIE? I BETTER BE A 10, BUSTER!
Post # 16
@ThreeMeers: +1 I get why he got angry but it really is such a stupid thing in the first place it shouldn’t warrant getting angry!