SO talks a lot

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
422 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@juliana192:  haha DH tells me the usual “short story long”. As in, he can tell me “hey I requested off those 2 days we agreed on”. Instead he tells me what happened on the way to speak to his boss, who he said hi to along the way, who was in his boss’ office, what his boss said, and how he got coffee on the way back to his department. It’s maddening. I also get to hear about video games, the best score he’s gotten…and worse..the details about the game which I don’t understand but don’t ask about b/c then I’ll get a 30 minute explanation on something I honestly don’t care about lol

Post # 5
Member
2783 posts
Sugar bee

@juliana192:  I can’t comment because I literally FORGET that I’ve already told him a story and he just patiently sits there and let’s me tell it again every single time. 

Post # 6
Member
845 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@juliana192:  Its one thing to rely on our SO’s to vent to on occasion or to briefly share thoughts about personal interests. For example, I am happy to hear about whatever is going on at my husband’s work or the book he is reading, especially if he is asking for advice, relating the story to something I know about, talking about how it makes him feel, or what he’s learned in a general sense.

But it’s not okay to be selfish in conversations, focusing on topics outside of our SO’s interest, and not asking our SO about their interests over the course of the conversation. Its best to save highly-specific conversation topics that aren’t of interest to our SO for interactions with friends/collegues who do share those interests.

I think good conversation is as important as good sex in a relationship!

Post # 7
Member
2328 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I actually have the opposite problem! My SO doesn’t really talk much at all and when he does, it is usually only the simplest facts he will give me! I like knowing about things that have happened at work and it has taken just over three years for him to begin sharing what he has been up to!

Post # 8
Member
2571 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@FromA2B2013:  Haha, same.  He doesn’t really talk alot meanwhile I talk non-stop. 

Sometimes we’ll be eating dinner and it’s silence.  I’m all “you ok?” and he’s all “I’m relaxing.” 😛

Post # 10
Member
845 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Ha! Well that’s great – just need to wait around ’til they invent a human mute button! 😉

Post # 11
Member
6964 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@juliana192:  I have no good advice but this did remind me of a funny story about my mom and dad. 

They were married 30 years (and dated for 9 years before that) when mom passed. In the last few years, they started going to bible study together every week. Mom was complaining to me one day that Dad would not shut up in these studys. She said “They ask him what he thinks and he goes on and on…” I said “Mom, they continue to ask him what he thinks. I think that means they want to hear it. Just because YOU don’t want to hear what he has to say (because you’ve heard it already) doesn’t mean they feel the same!”

After she died I was going through her paperwork and found the notebook she took to bible study. I read several pages of really interesting notes then found one page, written sideways on the page in HUGE letters: “STOP TALKING!” LOL I guess she had had enough of Dad one night. 

Anyway.. yeah, you have to hear it a few times, that doesn’t mean other people don’t want to. I think I’m probably the one guilty of this in my relationship. My SO hasn’t complained, but I do make a point of trying to keep him from hearing the same story/rant over and over. If my friend calls and I want to complain about something, I’ll go into another room so he doesn’t have to hear it AGAIN. Just the other day we were having lunch with my BFF & her husband. SO got up to use the restroom and I said “OK quick! I have to tell you about my sister before he gets back because he’s probably sick of hearing it!!” LOL

Post # 12
Member
2328 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@mrs_pudding_pop:  Yes, I am the talker in our relationship too! Sometimes I am quiet because I would like him to have the opportunity to start a conversation and he will ask me if I am alright!

Post # 13
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I talk a lot more than FI does (I’m sure anyone who knows me is SO surprised :P) so I don’t have this problem. I hope he doesn’t find me boring or annoying…I’m sure he’d tell me if he did, or wouldn’t have asked to marry me.

Post # 14
Member
428 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Pixie26:  This. Is my. FI. 

He works in this highly technical engineering job and sometimes he’ll try to tell me about something that happened at work, and istead of saying “oh this and this happened and it was irritating” it turns into a 20-minute (that’s not an exaggeration) discourse on the type of test they’re doing to this particular piece of metal and it’s vibrational response across temperatures and how that changed the scope of the requirements and how that would add an extra 6 months, and… at some point I usually step in and ask (very gently) “Babe…is there a short version of this?” Because I just glaze over…I’m sure it’s horribly interesting to engineers and I find it interesting at times, but I just want to hear the point/punchline!!! I like knowing that this story is going somewhere, and fast! 

Post # 16
Member
6964 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@Minnow:  OMG my SO is a technical writer for a biotech firm and this is EXACTLY him. Luckily, he likes to cuddle while I stroke his hair, so if he starts going on about something I barely understand, much less have any interest in, I just pull him close and stroke his hair so he can’t see that I’m totally not paying any attention. 😛

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