SO thinking about asking me to move in??

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
371 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2000


To be honest, I’d just have a conversation about it. There are a lot of glib phrases about how trecherous making assumptions can be. (“the mother of all screw-ups”, “to assume makes an ass out of u and me” etc. etc.)

I understand getting destracted if it seems you may be on the cusp of a big step in your relationship. Totally understandable! But I’m not sure that moving in together typically gets guys thinking “how can I suggest this romantically?” Then again, you know him better than anyone here. Perhaps that’s his style!

And this is about nervousness over possibly being asked to move in, is that right? You’re not at the stage where a proposal might be imminent? Some of the phrasing sounds a little bit more like what I’m used to seeing in that context on the Waiting Bees threads. 

Speaking for myself, I’d just simply discuss it with him. “Are you thinking of renting out the condo? What are your plans then?” If you’re in a relationship, that doesn’t sounds like a heavy, inappropriate conversation at all.

I’d probably do it sooner rather than later. You don’t want any sort of misunderstandings or misread signals distracting you from having a fantastic Valentines Day/Birthday/Caribbean Vacation!

Post # 4
141 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@NightOwl27:  I’ve had one romantic “please move in with me” by an ex.  My FI was asking me to move to be with him about 4 months into my relationship – took me 2 years and an engagement ring to say yes!!!  

I think every situation is different so it totally depends what sort of person he is.  Wishing you all the best though taking that next step in your relationship.  Are you a waiting Bee too?  Might be something bigger and better about to happen!

Post # 5
1952 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

My husband and I just agreed to move in together, no big thing made out of it. Although I’ve heard of people doing things like that. A friend of mine was asked to move in by her boyfriend on Valentine’s Day, and she loved it.

All I can suggest is try not to get your hopes too high in case it wasn’t what you thought. I hope that this situation works in your favour! 🙂

Post # 6
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

My DH planned a super romantic weekens where he asked me to move in with him!

Apparently (and I just found this out this past weekend) he considers moving in together the same as getting engaged! One we’d moved in together, he was 99% sure our relationship would end in marriage.

So he wanted to make asking special, just like he did with the proposal (8 months later)!

Post # 7
852 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Ha, ha. Nothing special or romantic with us. He couldnt go back to his place the weekend we returned from a holiday together so stayed at mine……and never left!

Post # 8
2649 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@NightOwl27:  It kind of sounds to me like the friend was asking about renting in your boyfriend’s condo complex and your boyfriend answered with a hypothetical about what he would need to charge if were he to rent his place.


Unless he or the friend said something about this being an actual plan, I think you’re reading way too much into it and shouldn’t get your hopes up.


Post # 10
7630 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

@NightOwl27:  I would talk to him about it. If you two are thinking about moving in together it’s so important that you can communicate! He could have just been talking about real estate prices but it doesn’t hurt to ask. 


Post # 11
2649 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@NightOwl27:  Well, that could just mean he asked your FI to let him know if he hears of any units coming up for rent in the complex. 

Im sorry,  I’m not trying to be mean or dash your hopes but from what you’ve written here, that’s how I would interpret their conversation.   If you’ve been thinking about the two of you moving-in, and hoping he’ll ask soon, you might just be reading too much into this looking for evidence he’s on the same page, you know? 

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