Post # 1
I’ve lived in the same state and town pretty much my whole life. I did move out two years ago and lived with my sister but we still were only 15 minutes from home. See in my family, moving out of state isn’t the norm. Every single one of my relatives lives in NC. So my mom has got that mindset where oh I’ll still live in NC when I’m married. Not necessarily close by but still in NC. Well me and my mom have been at odds about my relationship from the beginning. Any decision I had made in the past months, she’s always thrown a hissy fit one way or the other and my SO and I are afraid that she’ll try to run our lives when we’re married. I’m not saying she would but he thinks moving away would be beneficial to us and my family. I kind of agree but at the same time, the thought of moving away from the only place I’ve ever known, scares me. Yes I love traveling but I’m still nervous as everything if we move. Plus I’m not sure how we would go about moving unless we just look online for a place and live here for a bit before we move. Any advice?
Post # 3
I think moving might be a good option if you can find a viable career path and a way to support yourselves. Jobs are hard to come by these days, and moving for the sake of moving is troubling.
Post # 4
I think moving sounds like a good plan – you could try to give it a year in NC and move if things just get too much. That sounds like a good comprimise (I’d probably try to move a bit out of the way from mom during that time) and gives you two a chance to settle into your marriage without major life shake-ups happening at the same time.
If/when you move:
Try to find friends right when you move (meetup groups, voulenteer, etc.)
Get jobs first (of course) so you have the finances required.
Remember that you can always move back home (OR somewhere else – why not!)
I wish we could move out of state, but our career opportunities (both architects) are sort of at their best where we are right now. Other parts of the country aren’t doing as well as the NYC area is. SIGH.
Post # 5
@katiecat08: If you are still young, I would encourage you to move for the new experience with your soon to be husband. Live elsewhere for a couple of years, and if you feel like coming back you are free to do so. Set out a plan with your FI– for example agree to 2 years and then to re-address the move at that time. That way, both people are on board. Don’t let your mom control your relationship, let alone your marriage. that will be a disaster.