Post # 1
Okay, so to begin with I want to point out that I have been planning my wedding all by my lonesome. Yes, I have BM and yes I have family as well as an incredible great FI. However, none have asked what they can do to help and actually mean it. My future sis in law has asked what she could do to help and i was very speific in what i needed help with but when it comes time to actually help I am left on my own. Everything from dress shopping to the photographers. No one wants to help. I am getting so frazzled and I dont even want to think about the wedding at this point. I even pushed my date out farther because I was overwhelmed by the thought of having everything done by my original date of April 2015. Now I have the date set at September 2015, yes thats like a year away and being me, I changed my entire color pallete and decorations to fit a more fall vibe. So guess what? That means I have to once agin plan everything from the beginning. I really hate it. Im just so sick of everything. My FI who is so openly ready to handover the wallet is not ready to help plan. He is very traditional and thinks that the wedding should be left up to the women to plan. I cant deal with that, so he gets dragged along to every dress shop I can find. I already have a cereamony dress that cant be bustled and is incredibly tight and cant sit in. But it is beautiful and I want more of a tulle ball gown for my reception. I planon having the train shortened to sweep length and spend the evening in that. Is it time that I just bit the bullet and hired a wedding planner? There are so many things that I really wanted to incorporate my own ideas into and dont want to loose that by having someone else take charge. Really needing advice here.
Post # 2
JulieParham81: If this isn’t your thing, hire a planner. They can do as little or as much planning as you need them to do.
Post # 3
Get a planner, or–scale it way down so that it’s a no brainer. This is a marriage, not a Hollywood production.
All you really need is yourself, your groom, and an officiant with license. Everything else is secondary.
So start with that idea of simplicity and work outward from it, doing ONLY those things that are important to you.
“Incorporating your own ideas” and exerting control over every detail will suck up all of your time. Is it worth it when, in the end, yours willl be just another wedding, a bride in a white dress? Will you insist on having multiple attendants (that adds to the complexity greatly) and a large guest list? If you mean by “ideas” things that you find on Pinterest and DIY items, no, people around you don’t want to help with that stuff becuase people aren’t interested in it.
You have already made it complicated with multiple dresses. If you are treating everything like that, sure, this wedding planning is a lot of “work” (first world work.)
If your FI is open with his wallet, it sounds as though you guys have money for a planner. So stop kvetching and hire one. Even though I think it’s all a waste of money, sounds like you want the big production and hve money to pay for it, so hire help.
Post # 4
- Wedding: August 2015 - Alexander Homestead
JulieParham81: I am of the school of thought that wedding planning should be fun and stress-free. I picked a venue with a coordinator already included in the price and it was the best decision i couldve ever made! I thought at fort I would plan all by myself to save the money but having someone to bounce my questions off of and who unknown will handle the logistics the day of has been priceless! If you can make the room in the budget, do it and get back to the fun i what should be a happy and memorable experience. remember that you deserve it! 😀
Post # 5
I’m two weeks out and I spend at least some part of every day crying saying “this is a nightmare and I can’t wait until it’s over.” Do yourself a favor and get a wedding planner now.
Post # 6
JulieParham81: Scale it down! do a DW or planned elopement with a reception party when you get back.
Post # 7
ComputerLove06: I did this too. My venue came with a coordinator. My wedding package is all inclusive, meaning food, booze, lighting, cake, everything…all I’ve had to figure out so far is, flowers, limo, dresses, photog, MUA, and DJ. Maybe a few other things. I left groom and GMs attire to FI.
OP, my FI is a bit like yours. Ready to hand over the wallet, and only voicing his opinions once in a blue moon. So, I chose a plan that required as little thinking from me as possible. Since you’ve changed everything up, maybe you can go that route? My wedding is July 2015, and I’m pretty much done. Some payments and details, but not much.
I wish you lots of luck! If it’s too late to change big things like venue, my suggestion is to back away from the planning for a week. Really back away. Stay off WB, put down the notebooks and don’t discuss ANYTHING wedding related. Come back to it with a clear head.
Post # 8
Find a planner that you click well with and hire him or her. It was 100% the best wedding decision I made (aside from deciding to get married, of course!) and I never regretted it. Our planner was my go-to person whenever I had a question and she saved me hours upon hours of googling/debating/agonizing. She’s also the only reason I didn’t spend the night before our wedding sobbing uncontrollably (we had some large venue issues that came up during the reheatsal that she completely handled and resulted in us actually having food at the wedding and music at the ceremony). If you think a planner will help de-stress you, go for it.
Post # 9
JulieParham81: it doesnt sound like you like to plan. I would suggest looking into a planner.
I planned everything by myself. DH helped with small things but left 95% up to me.
You have to realize the only people that are excited about this are you and FI. Sure people are happy for you, but anning a wedding is all up to you guys. Its no one elses responsibilty ot obligation to help you.
All BMs have to do is show up on the right day in the right dress and shoes.
Post # 10
Im actually not planning an eloborate event for my wedding. I just want everything to be perfect. I hate being the center of attention and have asked my FI to cut his guest list down. I dont expect my BM’s to really do anything, but when they ask what can they do; I guess thats just being polite and it isnt actual. Anyhoo, Im checking into planners and may go that route. Or just try a more organized way. Im a total scatter brain and focusing on finishing my degree this semester and wedding stuff is exhausting.
Post # 11
It’s a good thing that your fiancée is handing over the wallet, even if he doesn’t help with anything else. That’s one of the best ways to help, because you can’t do much wedding planning without money. Some bride’s fiancées are tightfisted and refuse to help, so it’s great that your fiancée isn’t like that.
I think it’s time to hire a wedding planner. However, if you just need a place to write everything down, keep things organized, and keep track of time, a wedding planner (the book kind) could help. Erin Condran has one that’s pretty nice. Don’t hesitate to check it out if you think it could help make this process easier for you.
Post # 12
My best advice is to stop second guessing yourself. Once you’ve got something done, keep it. Don’t keep shopping or looking at what you already have finished. Don’t let other people hijack your ideas and turn them into something else. And be happy with imperfection. That is partly what makes it unique. Step away from wedding stuff for a few days. Let your mind rest and then you will see the big picture again. Good luck!