Post # 1
So short backstory my fmil has never really been a “mom” to my FH and his sister. She got pregnant young did drugs left them with family a lot and it took a huge toll on FH but he is still a huge mamas boy and loves her dearly. All in all she’s a wonderful person and I love spending time with her but recently she’s made some choices that have prevented that(left her husband to be with a homeless man thus resulting in her own homelessness. And they live in his car)
So we haven’t seen her since Christmas. She didn’t call on FH birthday and has been promising to visit for months. And every time SHE calls US and makes plans the very last minute she cancels or just doesn’t even show up. This has happened a few times a month since Christmas.
what bothers me most is FH gets so so excited about finally seeing her again and then she bails or doesn’t show. I feel so horrible for him and it makes me so disappointed to see him so disappointed.
I guess I just needed to vent but it hurts so much when she does this to him.
Post # 3
im sorry,i have seen this behavior with many people,she is using drugs again and im sorry if you dont want to belive that,but i bet that is what is going on.she is living in a car with a homeless man,people just dont do that by choice.she is a drug addict reguardless if she stopped doing them for years,people fall of the wagon sometimes and that may have been what has happend to your mil.i could be wrong,i hope i am.
but if you want her to keep contact dont get very upset when you talk to her about missing visits because if she is using drugs it could push her to were you may not hear from her for along time.do not ask her if she is using but say something like”mom when ever your ready to come home we are here for you no matter what,we love you”that may help her relize she can come home and not be judged and maybe get her away from that man sooner then later
i maybe way off here,but i see this behavior more then i would like.and like i said,i do hope im so very wrong
Post # 4
@sharonmariep: we all believe she is using again. And we just don’t want any part in it. My father used drugs but got clean and until he was clean he and I didn’t speak. Told him I wouldn’t until he was. fhs mom on the other hand doesn’t understand how much she’s hurting her children and they are quickly comin to a point where they won’t speak to her and she won’t be invited to the wedding which breaks my heart…I just don’t know what to do anymore.