Post # 1
i found out last night that my MOH’s husband’s brother asked his girlfriend to marry him, and they set their date for June. My wedding is in July. The girl asked my Maid/Matron of Honor to be her Maid/Matron of Honor too, and since the girl is marrying her husband’s brother, my Maid/Matron of Honor couldnt really say no.
Problem is, my Maid/Matron of Honor works a very demanding job and she has to ask days off MONTHS in advance, and is only allowed one day per month. So guess what that means? If she takes off one day in July for my wedding, and one day in June for her wedding, that means she cant possibly take off a day for a bridal shower, or a bachelorette party.
So, once again, i get screwed over. The more i think about it, the madder and sadder i get. i cant go to my Maid/Matron of Honor over this because it will make her feel bad. i dont know what im really looking for with this, just someone to commiserate i guess because i know there really isnt anything that can be done. i am just so mad and so sad…
Post # 3
Post # 4
@MrsWinTraining2014: I know it sucks, but at least she will be there for the wedding. Also, does your Maid/Matron of Honor work weekends or something? I would figure that a shower or bachelorette would be on the weekend and hence, it wouldn’t affect her work schedule?
Post # 5
That sucks, but at least she will be able to come to the wedding!
Post # 6
@MrsWinTraining2014: Uh, why don’t you just have your bach/bridal shower on days that she already has off? I assume she doesn’t work 7 days a week. There’s also several months between now and June. You could have your shower in May.
Post # 7
@MrsWinTraining2014: It’s not a requirement for your Maid/Matron of Honor to attend the shower or the bachelorette party. Her job is to be there and support you on your wedding day.
Post # 8
so have the bachelorette and shower on her days off.
Post # 9
I’m not sure who would schedule showers during Monday to Friday work hours. Aren’t they usually on weekends? She will be at the wedding, so she’s not obligated to go to three events for the same wedding in one month. That’s a lot to ask anyone to do.
Post # 10
That stinks! If she’s your Maid/Matron of Honor, she must be important to you, so I’m sure you would have wanted her there. My BFF/MOH moved to Florida this week, so I’m also coping with my Maid/Matron of Honor not having the active role I’d envisioned. Ultimately, she’s still my BFF, but it is tough no to have her around as much as I’d like.
Post # 11
- Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI
If she really only gets one single day off a month, that sucks. No weekends? Showers etc are usually on weekends, so if she does get weekends off then maybe there’s nothing to really worry about. If not then that sucks but at least she will still be there for the wedding day.
Post # 12
It’s disappointing, but it’s not the end of the world. We all encounter disappointments here and there with wedding planning (i.e. 1/4 of the friends I’m inviting are having babies my wedding month so they probably won’t come), but the important part is that she’ll be standing right next to you on your big day.
Be sad for today, or maybe even tomorrow, but don’t let it ruin the whole experience for you.
I agree with @jessicadarling: have your shower in May? I’m having my shower 2 months before; it’s a fairly common practice. And maybe have your bachelorette party on a day that she has off, or can make part of it?
Post # 13
I thought you were going to say that the other wedding was the same day as yours.
Your Maid/Matron of Honor doesn’t need to attend your shower or bachelorette parties to be your Maid/Matron of Honor, but, as other bees have suggested, it certainly should be possible for those types of events to be held on days that your Maid/Matron of Honor does not have to work, if it is important to you and to her that she be there.
Post # 14
- Wedding: September 2012 - Southern California
Can’t you schedule the shower or at least the bachorlette party around her days off that she gets normally? Or maybe have one or both of those parties in May instead? Please don’t cry over this!
Post # 15
She doesn’t work all 30/31 days a month, surely? Also, neither a bridal shower nor a bachelorette are required, and neither should take all day, so I think you are getting upset prematurely.
Post # 16
I am sorry but were you expecting your Maid/Matron of Honor husbands brothers fiance to consult you on her wedding date or choice of MOH?! Snap out of it. Seriously. You are getting yourself worked up over nothing. Usually the Maid/Matron of Honor plans the shower and if not keep her tight in the loop with someone who is planning it and I am sure she will pick a day she has off.