- 4 years ago
- Wedding: July 2015
About 5 months ago my friend ended it with her boyfriend of a little over a year. They had plans to get married after the new year but they weren’t officially engaged. From what she told me, they were either great or horrible. When they were horrible they would have bad fights for days. I was supportive of all of her choices but was so excited when she ended it and moved back home (she had been living in California with him) because she was starting to act depressed and of course I was happy she would be living in the same town as me again after many years of her not being near me. After she came home he continued contacting and trying to get back together with her but she finally cut off contact with him.
After about a month of being home she confided in me that occasionally when they fought he would push or hit her! I was so f***ing mad, no one deserves that! I told her that I was glad she got out of the relationship and was safe now. A month after that she started dating again and a month after that she became exclusive with a guy. At that point the ex had started contacting her again; it was ridiculous how much he called her. Every time we hung out he would call or text her at least once. I asked her why she let this continue and she didn’t have an answer, I didn’t want to push too much because I knew she was getting enough lectures from her family. Then about three weeks ago it was her birthday. We were hanging out and started talking about how her relationship with this new guy was already going downhill. I told her that it was ok for her to break up with him and it wasn’t so bad being single. She agreed with me and said she would think about ending the relationship. Well during the first 3 hours of us being together her ex called her 10 times, she finally answered and they got into a huge fight. After she got off the phone I convinced her to leave the phone at home so we didn’t have to put up with his constant phone calls.
The next morning she turns her phone on, 54 missed calls and a dozen text messages from the ex. He called her every name in the book and she finally decided to block his number. The next day, she called me and told me she broke up with her current boyfriend because she found naked pictures of girls on his phone (yeah she knows how to pick them), She went out a week later with a guy she met but apparently, he was just looking for sex so that didn’t go anywhere.
So I haven’t heard from her since her date with this guy, she had a lot going on with work and family so I didn’t want to bother her to much but I was starting to miss her, so I texted her asking to hang out and didn’t hear anything from her. Then today I saw she was on Facebook so I messaged her and asked if she got my text. She did, this is our conversation….
Friend: I didn’t text you because I need to tell you something and I don’t know how to
Me: Um ok… What’s going on?
Friend: I’m talking to abusive ex again; I think we’re going to get back together.
Me: (in shock) Why?
Friend: I hate dating and being single and he is always there and we’re really good right now.
Me: What happens when things get bad?
Friend: We learned to talk without anger lol
I haven’t texted her back yet. I don’t know what to say. Bees I have a feeling she is going to move to Georgia to be with him, she has a thing about jumping into things. What if she does go back to him and he starts hitting her again? What if it’s worse this time? She won’t have any friends in Georgia to go to if things get bad. As a friend is there anything I can do? Usually I support my friends in everything they do, even if I don’t agree with it but I don’t think I can just step aside and let her go without saying anything, but I don’t want this to hurt our friendship. She has been my bestfriend since we were 10 and we normally can talk about everything but I just don’t know what to say to her about this.
Advice? Experience? Anything? Help me I don’t know what to do!!! :/