So Very Different

posted 3 years ago in Intercultural
Post # 2
103 posts
Blushing bee

Has your families met before?  I think it might be easier if both families meet before the wedding and get to know each other beforehand.  I only say this because it sounds like his family might notice that your family tends to be more quiet and reserved and this might come across strange at the reception.  And your family might find his to be loud and boisterous.  It might make it hard to make everyone mingle being that they each have their own way of celebrating. 

Post # 3
657 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Why are you not having alcohol? Not sure why you are having a dry wedding. I feel like if you do this his family will be leaving super early. Not like I need alcohol but it helps get people on the dance floor especially if you have a dj.

Post # 4
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

Is there a particular reason you’re not having alcohol? If not, I might consider it. You didn’t mention much in the way of details related to how you’re making the event comfortable for everyone, so it’s hard to tell, but it  *sounds* like only one culture is really being represented. REmember, you’re joining two families!!!

Post # 5
103 posts
Blushing bee



prahajess:  I also second those two points.  I am sure you can still supply alcohol and if you family doesn’t drink, then they don’t have to, but at least it makes his family’s needs feel considered. 

Post # 6
1028 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

alleycat1984:  +1. Sometimes folks need liquid courage to dance and having a dry wedding might do the opposite.  I think you may want to plan some sort of meet and greet prior to the wedding so everyone will have an opportunity to meet and get to know one another.

Post # 7
5968 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017


AllieShrimp:  Im curious as to why you aren’t serving alcohol. I only ask this because I don’t see much based on your post that says that this reception is going to be a reception that both families will enjoy. It sounds like you are willing to do things to make sure your side is comfortable but that the things that his family enjoys doing to celebrate are being left out. How does he feel about the no alcohol thing? and  what are his thoughts on the DJ?


My family has parties similar to his, I know my family would leave early and not have a good time if there wasn’t *something* to do, like dance or something. And they all enjoy drinks and food so that would be a must have too. So maybe it’s hard for me to picture a wedding without the things that are common in my family.

Post # 8
3735 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

AllieShrimp:  I am from a loud, obnoxious and loving family. We are just boisterous. I recall one wedding where it was the boisterous versus the subdued and it was WEEEEEEEEEIRD. I think it’s easier to get quieter people to liven up a little then asking partiers to keep it low-key.

There’s got to be a middle ground here.

Post # 10
4819 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

AllieShrimp:  my family is kind of like your fiance’s. It might be a plesent wedding, and faily comfortable but I’d be willing to bet that this extended family will plan to take off a bit early to party elsewhere, and find some booze. It’s fine if you don’t want alcohol at your wedding for whatever reason but it’s not fine to expect people who enjoy booze and socializing to be super happy with your decision. 


I guess it would be more acceptable to have a no alcohol wedding/ reception end earlier? As in if you’re serving food do it at 5, and end by 9 that way people can take off early, and you’re not left with a load of dissapoint if people choose to leave a bit early?

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