Post # 1
I am Caucasian and my fiancé is Mexican. Our families are very different and they celebrate differently.
My family has quiet celebrations. We make our own food, my sisters will sometimes play music on their instruments, we play board games, watch movies, and enjoy each other’s company with conversation.
His family has loud celebrations. They make their own food, they hire a DJ, they have alcohol, they dance, and they talk loudly so that they can hear each other over the music.
Both families are loving and kind, but very different. I am not going to have alcohol at my reception, but I have a friend that offered to DJ (he is acquainted with both families), and I’m doing my best to make it a comfortable and enjoyable occasion for all. My fiancé, however, is very concerned with how his family will feel with a quieter celebration (that does not include alcohol).
Is there anything more that I can do to make sure two different families both enjoy this celebration?
Post # 2
Has your families met before? I think it might be easier if both families meet before the wedding and get to know each other beforehand. I only say this because it sounds like his family might notice that your family tends to be more quiet and reserved and this might come across strange at the reception. And your family might find his to be loud and boisterous. It might make it hard to make everyone mingle being that they each have their own way of celebrating.
Post # 3
Why are you not having alcohol? Not sure why you are having a dry wedding. I feel like if you do this his family will be leaving super early. Not like I need alcohol but it helps get people on the dance floor especially if you have a dj.
Post # 4
- Wedding: July 2014 - Prague
Is there a particular reason you’re not having alcohol? If not, I might consider it. You didn’t mention much in the way of details related to how you’re making the event comfortable for everyone, so it’s hard to tell, but it *sounds* like only one culture is really being represented. REmember, you’re joining two families!!!
Post # 5
prahajess: I also second those two points. I am sure you can still supply alcohol and if you family doesn’t drink, then they don’t have to, but at least it makes his family’s needs feel considered.
Post # 6
alleycat1984: +1. Sometimes folks need liquid courage to dance and having a dry wedding might do the opposite. I think you may want to plan some sort of meet and greet prior to the wedding so everyone will have an opportunity to meet and get to know one another.
Post # 7
AllieShrimp: Im curious as to why you aren’t serving alcohol. I only ask this because I don’t see much based on your post that says that this reception is going to be a reception that both families will enjoy. It sounds like you are willing to do things to make sure your side is comfortable but that the things that his family enjoys doing to celebrate are being left out. How does he feel about the no alcohol thing? and what are his thoughts on the DJ?
My family has parties similar to his, I know my family would leave early and not have a good time if there wasn’t *something* to do, like dance or something. And they all enjoy drinks and food so that would be a must have too. So maybe it’s hard for me to picture a wedding without the things that are common in my family.
Post # 8
AllieShrimp: I am from a loud, obnoxious and loving family. We are just boisterous. I recall one wedding where it was the boisterous versus the subdued and it was WEEEEEEEEEIRD. I think it’s easier to get quieter people to liven up a little then asking partiers to keep it low-key.
There’s got to be a middle ground here.
Post # 9
I don’t see what’s so bad about an alcohol-free wedding. Alcohol is not necessary for having a good time. If someone needs alcohol in their system to have the courage to dance around with their friends like an idiot and have a good time, they must have some serious issues with being self-conscience.
The decision to not serve alcohol was a decision made out of respect for my parents and the rules of their household. The reception is to take place in their backyard. I’m not going to completely disrespect my parents in that way.
I never said that loud was bad. I thoroughly enjoy celebrations with his family. Things get pretty loud when I spend time with my large family out-of-state. My family in the area, however, is restricted to only my parents and siblings.
My “church family” would be the majority of people I invite to the reception, and I’m sure you can see how having a bunch of alcohol at the event would be inappropriate.
Another thing that adds to the “no alcohol” policy is the fact that both the groom and I are both under the age of 21.
All is well, though. We are skipping the stressful, chaotic, messy un-pleasantries of a wedding and reception and simply doing a civil ceremony and having a small BBQ with our immediate families.
Post # 10
AllieShrimp: my family is kind of like your fiance’s. It might be a plesent wedding, and faily comfortable but I’d be willing to bet that this extended family will plan to take off a bit early to party elsewhere, and find some booze. It’s fine if you don’t want alcohol at your wedding for whatever reason but it’s not fine to expect people who enjoy booze and socializing to be super happy with your decision.
I guess it would be more acceptable to have a no alcohol wedding/ reception end earlier? As in if you’re serving food do it at 5, and end by 9 that way people can take off early, and you’re not left with a load of dissapoint if people choose to leave a bit early?