Post # 1
On a phone call during his lunch break, SO called to talk to me about marriage of all things. He said that he’s been thinking more and more about it lately and how he just wants us to be married without all the “headache.” Basically, this implied to me that he would rather elope than plan an expensive wedding. My problem is while I could go along with a courthouse wedding or something like that, he also mentioned not being able to buy me the ring of my dreams because he wants to be married within the next month.
Of course I want to marry this man, but one month’s time isn’t enough to save for a ring. Afterall, we do have kids. I’m torn, bees! What should I do?
Post # 3
@southern_sweetheart91: Rings can be upgraded, families are forever..if you want to be married, get married!
Post # 4
What’s more important to you, the ring or being married to the man you love?
Post # 5
I voted for #1 but even so, I would be concerned about the $ discussion and quick turn-around time.
Post # 6
DH and I eloped and it was the best choice we have ever made together. Go for it! Have your dream intimate wedding and you can always get a ring later. Remember, that’s a material item. Marriage is all about your relationship! You can find inexpensive rings on OverStock and also Pawn Shops. You can also look into CZ engagement rings as well, JCPenney carries a beautiful, affordable line.
Post # 7
Hang on – sorry – I didn’t see the we have kids comment.
In that case, you already know the financial situation. If he is being sensible you might want to take that into account before insisting on dropping some serious cash on a one day celebration that could be used elsewhere.
Go for it – elope if you are ok with it – your kids would love it!
(ETA: the ring can come later)
Post # 9
I would elope!! Don’t turn down an opportunity to marry your soulmate! you can always save up for your ring and wear a plain band until then. OR for now pick out one from berricle (they have amazing deals!) and continue to save for your dream ring 🙂
Post # 10
Post # 11
We eloped and I got my actual ering almost a year later. Now it’s almost been another year and my wedding band will arrive any day now. Personally, it has not made any difference to me. The rings are nice and they are symbolic of your love and your marriage. But at the end of the day the love itself and the marriage matters the most.
No matter when you get your ring, it will be nice. But marry the love of your life now and get your ring later.
Post # 12
I would be fine with a super cheap wedding… But not a super cheap ring! That being said, if you already have kids together, why not get married now and get the ring later?
Post # 13
@southern_sweetheart91: For me, the ring is (we’re not engaged, but SO has the engagement ring) very important. It’s the symbol of his commitment.
Your situation is a little different – you have children. And you don’t get much more committed to someone as once you’ve had a child together.
I do agree with @Nona99: “Rings can be upgraded, families are forever. If you want to be married, get married!” If you want to me married – don’t let not having the ‘prefect’ ring stop that.
If I were you, I would be more concerned that my SO has suddenly came up with this idea – I would want to discuss things before making any decisions – but again, don’t let the ring stop you from getting married sooner than expected if you come to the conclusion it’s what you both want right now, your family is more important.
Post # 14
@southern_sweetheart91: I voted “other”. It depends. How small are we talking? I’m not a fan of diamond chips as center stones. I would honestly rather get married now, get a plain old $60 band and then save up for an “anniversary” ring after the fact. I would be so excited about this man being so excited about marrying me!
Post # 15
currently wearing a $300 ring, planning a simple wedding with our closest family and friends, and couldn’t be happier. All being said, we’ve been together for 8 years so I didn’t exactly rush things, there are just more important things to us than a ring or a wedding (we’re currently buying our first home). I’ll forever look down at my .16 carats remembering where we started, together, and what is really important. Good luck.
Post # 16
@jadlnc: I’d add… how small are your fingers.. when you wear a 4.5 a “chip” don’t look so bad! I’ll add, please get a “chip” and not a cluster. 😉