Post # 1
I’m not engaged yet, but my boyfriend and I have talked about marriage at length and he has informed me that he’ll be proposing in the next year.
I’m excited about the plan being in place but I’m kind of upset that he doesn’t really want a wedding. I don’t consider myself high-maintenance, and I don’t need a big to-do, but is it really so bad to want to do SOMETHING to commemorate such a day?
Yes, I know, it should be about the marriage and not the wedding, and I want more than anything to be married to him, but it seems to me that taking that next step in our relationship is something to celebrate. I don’t want to push him, but I know if I just say okay I’ll regret it later.
Post # 3
What about an elopement? You can have the wedding that you want and it can be private and personal and nontraditional for him.
Post # 4
Would he be more comfortable eloping and then having a reception afterwards? You could also do like a REALLY small destination wedding….?
why does he not want a wedding? is it the money. There are quite a few budget breakdowns on here for under $5000 weddings – it can be done
Post # 5
@misskittenn: elope on your honeymoon ; ) sandles resorts gives you a free martha stewart wedding for free with your stay of 5 days or more you can get married and do your honeymoon at the same time.
Post # 6
Does he know about the new options for couples, ones with middle grounds between elopements and blow out weddings?
You two can do a destination wedding, where you whisk a small group of loved ones to a locale for the wedding.
Backward wedding, where you can invite a small list of close family and friends.
an intimate/small wedding, where you keep the guest list below about 50 (or below 25, just whatever you want, really.)
I think it’s very important that you two agree on this aspect or you’ll regret it. My sister to this day regrets her courthouse wedding. It’s been 23 years. She’s totally into my wedding because of it. I love this, because we can live it together.
My FI is like yours in that he wants to get married but avoid the spotlight.
Before you tell yours anything, I’d sort out a list of everything weddings have and take some time to figure out what of these things do I really “need” so that my day feels right, special an important.
For me, it was the groom, the ceremony, the dress, my father performing his part on the aisle on dance floor. Awesome meal, cake.
So list out your needs, see what catagory of wedding they fit into, then approach FI.If you find you don’t really need the things that require an audience, then elope.
Post # 7
My mother said ‘hell no’ to the elopement, haha. I wouldn’t want to deprive her of seeing her only daughter getting married, either.
And I think part of it is the money. His family was very very poor when he was growing up, so he’s become very frugal. But I think my parents would contribute all that they could. Besides, I’m inventive, I can DIY things.
His parents got married at the courthouse, mine got married at a big church wedding. So, I’m kind of hoping for something in between. I think that’s fair.
Destination wedding would probably not be possible, he has a very big family (5 siblings and 3 of them with children), but I think something small and intimate would be just fine. Glad I’m not the only one dealing with this.
Post # 8
I would do a small backyard wedding. Im really scared to get married. I was more nervous about a ton of people stairing at me. We decided to do a small backyard wedding. We will have Grandparents/Parents/Brothers and Sisters/ and their children. Thats it. We will be spending about $4000 tops on ours.
Post # 9