If it’s any consolation to those of you who decided to change your wedding dates because of jobs, money, or other circumstances like that, my now-husband and I went through exactly that a year ago.
We got engaged in April 2009, and my family was not happy about it at all. My husband decided not to ask my dad’s permission (a HUGE no-no in my very patriarchal family) since he knew my dad would give him a flat out “NO” (for no good reason). We held off on discussing wedding plans until later that summer, since I was graduating and unemployed. My husband was still in school but he had already been offered an awesome full-time job that he would start after his graduation, so we felt that we could safely pursue our wedding plans since at least one of us was guaranteed employment.
In July of 2009, we set our date for July 31, 2010, giving ourselves a good year to plan our wedding (which we wanted to keep simple), and for me to continue looking for a job. By the end of the summer, I was still unemployed, and my husband’s mother suddenly turned on me, accusing me of keeping her son from becoming a doctor (his longterm goal) and relying on him to support me. She called me irresponsible with money, accused me of not really looking for a job, and said I needed to mature a lot more before I could even think about getting married. It hurt so much, I didn’t speak to her for weeks. My husband was livid that she had turned on me like that, and his anger caused tension between him and his parents. That, coupled with the resentment that my parents already felt about our engagement, caused so much tension that my husband and I began to fight with each other. I was beating myself up for not being able to find work, and he was frustrated that he couldn’t make me feel better.
Long story short, we called off our wedding in September 2009. We also called off our engagement and spent a little time apart. I was sure that it would be years before we’d think about get married, and I didn’t know how long it would be before we’d get engaged again, or if we ever would.
But, things have a funny way of turning around right when you think they won’t, and in November of 2009, I was hired. I moved into my husband’s tiny room, and after many long talks and thinking, we became engaged again. I found an apartment at an astonishingly low price that would work perfectly for a couple, so he could move in after he graduated in May 2010. Around Christmas, our relationship was stronger than ever, and we started talking about going ahead with a summer 2010 wedding. His parents backed us 100% (thank goodness), but mine were harder to convince. Finally, in January of this year, my parents agreed that we had proven ourselves ready for marriage.
We planned our wedding in a whirlwind 6.5 months, and on July 10, 2010, we became husband and wife, 21 days before our original date.
Keep your chin up and our eyes open, ladies. You really never know what’s around the bend.