(Closed) So what’s next? (after the wedding)

posted 8 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 3
Member
5389 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

I will be about to finish up school and start my career so I will be focusing on landing a good job and managing my household. My FH is just starting his career so by the time we are both on track we will be about 30 and ready to start a family because we will have brought a house and secured our jobs.

Post # 5
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Well after the wedding there’s a string of quite big family changes that are going to happen so I don’t anticipate being bored! (For the lack of a better word). My sister is moving to the US in early August, then FH’s niece is turning 18 so there’ll be a big birthday bash for her in mid-late Aug, then my mom (who’s been living with me and FH for the last 2 years) is probably moving to Australia in Sept/Oct and that gives me and FH Nov to relax before the craziness of Christmas! Also during all this time either FH and I will be buying the house we’re renting or we’ll be moving to another place – all that is still a bit up in the air. If we do get this house there’s loads of DIY stuff we can get on with fixing – like repainting and getting new doors and windows fitted. 

Wow, it’s going to be a bit crazy for us I think!

Post # 6
Member
804 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I think maybe I’m doing all of this in reverse!!! I’ve just finished uni in September and have secured my first real “big kid job” – I’ll be starting my career as a primary school teacher next month (I am FREAKING out!). Tomorrow the fella and I have an appoinment with the bank manager as we’re keen to buy a block of land we’ve got our eye on and build on it. So we’re hoping to build a house, start a new (very demanding) job, the fella’s planning on finishing his degree AND plan and pull off a fab wedding in November! I’m beginning to wonder if I’ve bitten off more than I can chew????

So I guess, if all goes well I hope to be doing not very much after the wedding, just settling into a nice routine of working and perhaps put all of my “wedding energy” into house decorating… OOH and hopefully there’ll be an Italian honeymoon to look forward to too!

Post # 7
Member
873 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I’ve already been to grad school – been in the working world for 5 years by the time we get married, and there’s 0 possibility of us ever being able to buy a house in Seoul….so the next step is…kids!!!  That and FI working to get into the international division of his company so one day we can be transfered back to my country!^^

You mentioned adopting older children in the future…what about doing some volunteering with foster or special needs kids or Big Sister in order to get some experience and perspective on the backgrounds of the kinds of children you are interested in one day adopting? Or take up a new hobby/skill…I have a friend with chronic medical problems and she very very slowly went through a yoga instructor program.  It was really helpful for her to have a goal and to have some structure to her life because she was (and still is) unable to work.  As to grad school…when you get in – things will be so intense that the time will fly quickly by. I have no idea where my 2 years went!

Post # 8
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Pretty much trying to enjoy life. I feel like if we’re always looking for “the next big step” then we miss out on the right-now-this-very-moment, like we wished it away. Right now I’m working and taking some prerequisite courses for a graduate program (i only need 4 classes) and DH is looking for a job now that he’s out of the Army. There’s nothing wrong with being “stuck” in a rut in my opinion!

Post # 9
Member
286 posts
Helper bee

Well….I will be just entering into graduate school a few months before we get married…and my FI will still be in graduate school (2 years left)….I have a son…I guess for us after getting married will be just living life and getting finished with graduate school as soon as possible….and raising our son….I already have a great job but going to graduate school with mean pay increase and more security for our family….We will also be living about 3 hours aways from each other for the first year or so of our marriage…He will come home for 3 or 4 days then go back to school…

Post # 10
Member
23 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2010

After our wedding we’ll be heading to India to work in an orphanage for eight months. It’ll be my seventh trip to India (my fifth to this particular orphanage) and my then-husband’s very first time out of the country! We’re so excited about starting our marriage with ministry. It will also be a good time for us to be able to focus on the marriage for a few months, without the pressures and the busy-ness of American life.

Post # 11
Member
5389 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

Well I’m working on my Masters and law degree. He is an engineer. I have a BA in Poli Sci and my Masters will be in Public Admin.

Post # 12
Member
11327 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

You sound a lot like me! I am totally one of those people who has to always be working towards X. First it was getting done with college (done in 3 years, check), then law school (another 3 years, check), then get a lawyer job (check), get engaged (check), buy a house (check), get married (workin on it!)…. then?? 

I too am worried that once I have the guy, the house, the job….. am I going to be bored because I have nothing to work towards? But I think I’m going to try to do like ejs says and try to RELAX and enjoy things a bit! 

For me personally, I think after the wedding I’ll try to focus on getting our house decorated (we plan to be there 8-10 years so it is really worth making it our own), getting my photography side business going, and just enjoying the life I’ve always wanted. I always wanted the “boring” life with the husband and dog and house in the ‘burbs… hopefully I’ll be able to enjoy it once I’m there. I want to start trying to have kids maybe 3-5 years after we get married so I guess I’ll also want to live up my last non-parental years hehe

Post # 13
Member
1801 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

We’re both graduating with our bachelors in May, right before getting married in June.  I’m applying to joint degree programs in law and psychology, so we’ll be moving to wherever I get in to grad school.  FI is a journalist (food writing – yum!) so he can work pretty much anywhere.  He’ll be job searching right after the wedding.  It doesn’t sound like much compared to many of you, but moving away and starting grad school/jobs right after the huge transition to married (no more parental insurance, etc!) is going to be a big handful for us!

Post # 14
Member
2280 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

*shrugs* Same stuff I’ve always wanted to do! Work hard, write, save for building a house/travel/retirement/children, get published, have three or so years to ourselves and then have kids. Stay active within the church. Make music. Freelance. Sew. Garden. Work out. Cook. Maybe I’ll start a creative writing center in ten or twenty years. Grad school is an option, though that won’t happen until my finances are sound.

There’s no end to the possibilities; I wouldn’t look at it as being stuck if you aren’t accomplishing one of your life goals rightthisverymoment. Every day provides opportunities and growth. Carpe diem!

Post # 15
Member
3125 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

we have been focusing on each other and planning trips and things to do in 2010 to keep our mind occupied and give us something to look forward to.  We have planned a wine tour, spring training baseball, a juvenile diabetes conference to learn how to treat our niece, and a trip to hawaii or vegas for our 1 year anniversary.  That keeps us pumped up!

Post # 16
Member
2513 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

We just got married in December, and neither one of us are in school (I MIGHT go back someday :), but right now we are just working & doing the day to day stuff.

Like you, I hope to be getting a new (bigger) house within the next couple of years, (I wish we could start house looking NOW), but he is fine with living there for right now while we save up some money & build more equity in the house.

We are currently planning on taking a late honeymoon in Feb to CA, so we’ve been focusing on that recently.

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