Post # 1
So recently my husband and I decided that I should leave my job sometime this year. Preferably, right before the holiday season. I’ve been miserable and it seriously affects my overall mood (I’m depressed all the time on weekdays and I seriously LIVE for the weekends). We talked it over and decided that we’d like to put away a certain amount into savings before I leave to hold us over for a few months, and also, to completely pay for a vacation we planned for next Winter. We’re trying to be really prepared and have expenses covered ahead of time.
Other point: I’m in the process of starting my own business. I started in January of this year, and it’s grown so much faster than I anticipated. I do it on nights and weekends, and it’s so much fun (I adore that part of my life). BUT, I’m tired all the time, too, because I don’t really ever stop, and my day job just totally sucks the life right out of me (it’s that bad). But I know it’s something I need to do.
So, part of me wants to just put away as much money as I can in the next few months, and quit in three or four because you can’t put a price on mental health (and also, because three/four months doesn’t seem that far away whereas December seems completely out of reach right now). Part of me wants to wait it out until the holidays because we would have a much more significant cushion to rely on in case my business goes in the crapper. I know my husband would also prefer I stay until the holidays, but he also said that he wants me to be happy, and he knows in order to do that, I need to leave this job. He said he’ll 100% support whatever I decide, and I know he means it.
Has anyone else ever just quit a job without anything else lined up because it was making them miserable? Part of me also feels guilty because I know if I weren’t married, I couldn’t leave and be financially sound, and I would be relying heavily on my husband. But I also know that I would be so much happier if I left this toxic office.
Gah! Just don’t know what to do!
Post # 3
i’m in the same boat except that i’m starting the biz now, not January. It takes a lot to get out of bed in the mornings. I am so depressed at work! And after work. And talking about work. that’s probably why my post count is through the roof.
Sending you the good vibes and if you find a good balance, PM me your secrets!!!
Post # 4
@melissabegins: Thank you for the good vibes! I’ll send some your way as well 🙂
I’m just so lost on what to do! I kind of feel like a whimp because I know so many people hate their jobs, but ugh! I can’t take it much longer!
Post # 5
Personally I think if your job is sucking you dry, making you depressed, and your life is generally sucking, get out! A lot of people can hump it through a job they hate, but I am not one of them. If your own business makes you a lot happier and is growing, why not invest yourself in it? I think you and your hubs will both be happier! Really, you may have to put off your vacation, but I think it’s worth it. Maybe you could find a part time job to do in conjunction with our own business so you’d still have a reliable (albeit smaller) paycheck, but you could also have time to focus on your business?
Post # 6
I think you should tough it out. It is only 9 more months. I know it seems like forever but if you were single you’d have to do it, right? I just think that if you can make it that far you’ll be SO happy because you’ve built up a really significant cushion and it will make your life-after-this-job sooo much better.
Post # 7
- Wedding: October 2010 - Ladder 15 Restaurant
Congrats on starting your own business! I hope to someday soon too!
I think it completely depends on whether your financial quality of life will suffer–you have to decide which is more important, and that’s something only you can determine for yourself. If you think your business will really take off by putting more time and energy into it, then maybe it’s worth it! Just be prepared with another option if it doesn’t happen as quickly as you hope. Happiness is definitely a priority, but money woes result in a whole other beast to battle!
Best of luck to you!
Post # 8
I think you should stick it out. I know it’s hard but with the economy the way it is it’s just SO hard to get another job if your business doesn’t pan out the way you want and that extra cushion really will help you sleep better at night. My fiance has been out of work over a year and it’s be unbelieveably rough!
Post # 9
I’m in the same boat as you bees but a bit behind, trying to figure out how to start a business, finishing my job at the end of May. It’s one that probably a lot of people would love to have but I apparently don’t get on well with older men, I’m 2/2 in that department, can get on with women and younger men as bosses, the older ones just well make me miserable. Had to switch names because my other account had too many pictures to trash talk the boss and show that I was on here a lot. But the bee is a bit of an escape from work misery and the tedium.
I have enough saved so I’m OK with stopping work whenever. If I were in your shoes I’d work until I had enough saved to be comfortable for a year or so without working. It’s just a random number but that’s what I decided is enough for me
Post # 10
FI was in a job that was making him miserable. I mean really. He wasn’t sleeping or eating – it was so much stress, it was really hard on both of us. So we had a PLAN and he only had to hold out until the wedding so that we could pay for everything – it would have allowed us to put almost $20k into this wedding with zero debt. I had it all figured out.
But when it came right down to it, he was so miserable and he was making me so miserable, he couldn’t hold out until June. He quit about 2 months ago. I won’t deny that it has been a little bit of a rough road. He’s not making the money he was making before and it’s changed our plans and our standard of living a bit, but now that things have settled down a bit and we’re as much back on track with the budget as we can be, we’re both happier. It just sort of worked out.
I’d say making him stay the extra 4 months would’ve helped us avoid some fights about financial issues, but we both would have been a mess up until the wedding. Not worth it.
Post # 11
I’m really appreciated all the perspectives. Thanks, everyone!
Post # 12
Update: So the hubs and I talked about it AGAIN last night because I started crying when I got home from work, pretty much because-I-hate-my-job. I calmed down, and we decided to give it three months, even though he pushed me to leave right away. Three months will give us time to put away an amount of money we can live with, and at the three-month mark, we can evaluate again. If I think I can stick it out for another few months, I will. And if I want to leave, I will, and I’ll do it guilt-free.
I thought a lot about what I would do if I were single, and it boiled down to me deciding I would quit and start working a couple retail jobs (having them lined up beforehand, of course). If I were single, I would be living a more frugal lifestyle, and would be able to live semi-comfortably working retail while I got the business up and running. That made me feel a lot better, knowing that I’m really not just quitting JUST because I’m married and we can afford it. I think that was my biggest concern because I tend to be a pretty independent person.
Phew! I feel better 🙂
Post # 13
is it possible to move to part-time in your job? that would give you more time for your business and less time in the toxic office and still a paycheck. i know it’s not possible for a lot of jobs, but if it is in yours it could be a good option. i just moved down to part-time, partly because i’m leaving for grad school anyway in a couple months, and partly so i can have more time for prepping for school and wedding planning, and partly to avoid stupid tasks at work. it’s been a great solution…
Post # 14
@Finnaroo: That’s also one thing we considered. I think in three months, I’ll also think about that as an option. Just ask to go down to part time until the end of the year. That would honestly make it a lot easier.
Does anyone have experience asking an employer to go down to part-time? How did it go?
Post # 15
I would try and stick it out as long as you can with this job because you never know what could happen with this business you are starting. It might not be making money for a while and you don’t want to spend up your savings in order to get by.
Post # 16
I have this same problem, but with grad school. I find it is much harder to leave a grad school program that you have already devoted 4 years to. I don’t know what to do.