Post # 1
So – after an adorable proposal over Instant Messanger, hours of being talked into this whole getting married again thing, some arguments and tears and love, 5 months of wedding planning, a moved wedding date, telling our friends and our families, learning to use the word Fiance – tonight I am getting my “real” proposal and my engagement ring. I have butterflies in my stomach and tears in my eyes (note to self buy waterproof mascara for tonight) and I do not know why 🙂 The ring should not make a difference. My committment to him and his to me is not based on a very lovely and expensive material item but instead the love and struggles and faith we have developed over 6.5 years.
But tonight my Fiance will officially ask me to be his wife and I know that I will say yes and while nothing should change I know this will make this even deeper and more real.
So – what does the ring symbolize that was not there before? Maybe I need it to believe, maybe I just need the normalcy of a proposal to truly accept after all the trial and tribulations we are going to spend the rest of our lives together. Maybe it is simply the symbol that will put to rest the doubtful comments when people ask to see my ring and I state I do not have one yet and their response is “oh you are not really engaged” – I am not sure 🙂
Thanks for listening as I muse – and now I am going to go add waterproof mascara to my shopping list 🙂
Leaving you with the quote from the poem Rabbi Ben Ezra by Robert Browning that we believe fits us and we are using in our wedding
“Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be, the last of life, for which the first was made. Our times are in his hand who saith, ‘A whole I planned, youth shows but half; Trust God: See all, nor be afraid!’”
Post # 3
I think its a lot of things… and to me probably the biggest thing was just the social ritual of it. Like it or not we’re kind of programmed by our upbringing and having a physical memento of an intangible commitment makes it feel more real– even though nothing is really different.
Beyond that, looking at the ring on your finger can kind of make you feel differently about yourself. You know how good you feel when you get a new haircut? or how weird/cool it feels to get all dressed up in professional clothes for your first job? Somehow you FEEL different because you look different, and the ring is the same. You look at your hand… and you’re one of “them”… the attached people. The grown up people.
Not to mention… its just so pretty 🙂
Post # 4
For me the ring in the first few years didn’t mean much. I wore a CZ ring, then a plain band or sometimes nothing at all. We had a child at that point and it just didn’t factor in as “meaningful”.
Now that I’m older and we’re more established I wear a nicer ring as a reminder of where we were, where we are now in our marriage… and also I just want to look at a nice piece of jewelry!!
I agree too, sometimes it does make you feel a bit more “grown up” when you’ve got a ring on.
Post # 5
I like looking at my hand and knowing “we’re together for life”.
Post # 6
Oh, and I like other people knowing it too.
Post # 8
@unixfairy:The ring can be the outward symbol to society. It depends on where you grew up.
I mean, he was 100% sure he wanted to marry me in Nov 2009. He gave me the ring in Feb 2011. In Nov 2009 it didn’t feel like we were engaged, but we were.
The ring made everyone else acknowledge it and actually made a huge difference to me (although originally I thought I didn’t need an engagement ring).
Post # 9
When I look at the beauty of my ring I can’t help but think of the beauty of our love and our life together.
Post # 10
I think the ring is an outward symbol of your commitment and devotion to the person you chose to be with your entire life. I’m old fashioned and I know the majority of women don’t agree with me, but I love that when people see my ring they know I belong to somebody:)
Post # 11
I think it’s the combination of the weight of tradition (subconsciously, engaged = ring) and social acknowledgement (ring = outward symbol to the world).
I don’t actually have a ring, which was our choice together. It doesn’t make me less engaged. But it does make my engagement MUCH less public.
Post # 12
LOL thank y’all so much for all the words of encouragement and understanding. I did have to chuckle at the feeling grown up comments because I am 42 and was married for 14 years before. I have not worn any rings in 7 years and I think that is part of it. When this ring goes on it is going to stay on and it is the hope and belief that this will be my happily ever after.
So I am sitting here letting pale pink nail polish dry and waiting to get on my pretty dress and pretty shoes . . .
Post # 13
I agree with JewishBride.
To me my ring says (to others): “I am taken, I am happy, I am cared-for, I am stable. I am married. Legit., mature, trustworthy.” I feel so legit and mature. (Even though I am using the word “legit.” 🙂