SO: Would you accept a token of your SO's different religion?

posted 3 years ago in Gifts and Registries
  • poll: Would you accept the token?
    Yes, happily : (117 votes)
    52 %
    Yes, but I'd hide it away : (23 votes)
    10 %
    No, but we'd discuss what we're each comfortable with and work through it : (34 votes)
    15 %
    No, and I'd leave them : (2 votes)
    1 %
    I refuse to be with someone of another faith : (48 votes)
    21 %
  • Post # 3
    4395 posts
    Honey bee

    I would accept it but probably never wear it out. 

    Post # 4
    2546 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I have to say no, because I would totally wear a cross, a pendant or a david’s star given by a friend. However, I couldn’t share my life with somebody with such different views on pretty much everything important.

    Post # 5
    1036 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @HonoraryNerd:  Add a poll! I would glady accept one! As long as it wasn’t something huge or crazy obvious. 


    Post # 7
    3557 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    I’m atheist while FI is some kind of non-organized christian. If he bought me a cross I’d wear it. In fact other family members have bought me crosses and I’ve worn them.

    Post # 8
    1036 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @HonoraryNerd:  I’m very curious about this as well! Unless the object was given in bad taste or was huge/obvious/in your face, i would have no problem wearing something of a different religion (or at the very least keeping it in the privacy of my own home). I think a symbol is whatever you make of it – and the world would be a happier place if everyone wasn’t so uptight and extreme when it came to religious views. 


    Post # 9
    2137 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I would accept it…but I probably wouldn’t wear it.  I’d appreciate it and tell him so, but if I I didn’t have the same beliefs I’d feel a bit like I was lying.  I think I’d also want to talk about why he gave it to me and make sure that he understands and respects my different views. Thankfully we don’t have this problem…we’re both pretty agnostic.

    Post # 11
    1068 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    I wouldn’t wear a religious symbol of a faith I didn’t belong to.  I come from communities where it would be unusual to wear a religious symbol of a faith you DO belong to, so it would be pretty out there.  

    Post # 12
    1346 posts
    Bumble bee

    It depends on what it was and the meaning behind it. I’m really interested in many faiths but am atheist myself. I do appreciate the morals behind mythology but steer clear of negatively charged religions.

    Post # 13
    2546 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I think most people don’t realize that in a couple with one member being an atheist and one member being a Christian, they are going to disagree in TONS of actual real life issues that can be deal breakers.

    You know how everyone says “if one doesn’t want to marry and the other one does is a deal breaker”? “if one doesn’t want children and the other one does is a deal breaker”?

     this is the same thing.

    -Imagine being pregnant with a child that you don’t want, you want to have an abortion, your husband is absolutely against abortion because he is Christian.

    -You want to teach your children contraception, he wants to teach them abstinence.

    -You want to watch porn, he thinks you shouldn’t.

    -He really wants to baptize your children, you really don’t want to.


    And tons of other examples that really can break a marriage.


    Sometimes, you ignore things because you’re truly in love, and it isn’t until you’re forced to confront them that you have to come to a decision. It happens to all of us.

    Post # 14
    8678 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Militant atheist here — Yup. A gift from the heart is still a gift.

    Post # 15
    3280 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I wouldn’t date anyone who didn’t share my beliefs so I can’t image accepting something from them.

    Post # 16
    1007 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I absolutely would.  I am agnostic and while I am not interested in converting to any religion, I am welcoming of all religious people as long as they don’t try to comvert me and I would welcome their token if it made them feel I was safer.  (I’m a little borderline with some friends who do mission trips.. but I try to just look the other way.)  Even if I don’t personally believe in that person’s symbol/the meaning and religion behind it, I would consider it to be something like a good luck charm.  


    Like @bebero, I don’t think I would be with someone of a different religion, but assuming that I was I would accept the token and maybe wear it out on occasion (it would not be an everyday thing unless it was subtle or could be hidden under a shirt, for example).  If it was the kind of symbol that wouldn’t be obviously religious to other people, I might wear it more regularly.  I definitely wouldn’t wear a cross frequently because I wouldn’t want anyone to think I was Christian- other symbols (which people around me would be less likely to recognize) I would probably feel like a poser wearing.  


    @bebero:  I think it really depends on the couple.  My great aunt and uncle (they are like 75) have been married for who knows how long- probably since they were 30 or younger- and my great uncle is a devout catholic and goes to church at least twice a week- while my great aunt is nonreligious.  They have a grown kid and he turned out fine (I’m not sure if he is religious- I think he might be mildly so).  I also have an uncle on the other side of the family who married a Muslim and didn’t convert (although now that she has passed he observes some muslim customs in her memory).  They also have kids and one is a practicing muslim and the other is not at all.  

    You’re right that for some couples, it would absolutely not work, but for others it definitely does.  

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