Post # 1
seriously. big sob meltdown tonight. i’ve been so excited for the engagement party Mr. Meowerson was planning all by himself for this weekend across country in California, but my mom and stepmom keep “insisting” we do this and that and it is no longer his thing. i’m trying to make all three of them happy but i just can’t take it anymore. he is furious and taking it out on me, and this stuff is so stupid- we HAVE to rent coffee urns and coffee cups and plates for dessert. we weren’t planning on dessert- it is a cocktail party. everyone is being nice and generous and offering to foot the bill for these extra things, but it is four days away and i’m super busy at work and just don’t have the time to arrange all this with the unresponsive caterer. i try and explain this but it is apparently unfathomable to have a party without these things. i just smoked two cigarettes and i don’t even smoke. Mr. Meowerson keeps saying he is dreading this party now and wished he’d never organized it, and I was so looking forward to it, but now I am dreading it too. My mom keeps telling me things like “the marriage is about the couple- the wedding is about the families” and how we have to consider our guests needs, etc. really? is not having coffee, and providing full on catering and alchol and a bloody bartender not considering people’s needs? i’m sorry, girls, massive vent, but i’m at wit’s end.
Post # 3
I am sorry you are having to stress about this, but I do think that offering your guests coffee, tea, and plates for desert would be a good thing. I thought coffee and tea would be a waste at our wedding and I had to be talked into offering it. I am glad I was talked into it because a lot of our guests drank it. As for the plates, guests appreciate having something stable to put their desert on.
Try to breathe, and I know this is easier said than done, but try not to stress about things. Everything will work out 🙂
Post # 4
@noritake22: this is just for an engagement party of 20 people this weekend though, not the wedding…we have already rented plates for the heavy apps we are doing, but we would have to change the order just days before and throw in coffee cups and coffee cannister, and extra plates for a second course of dessert too…his brother is catering this at cost to us, and i want to limit the amount of cleanup he has to do. we also weren’t doing desserts, my stepmom is now talking about bringing some with her…we are also having beer and wine and champagne and heavy apps…it’s only for a few hours.
Post # 5
@Mrs. Meowerson: I have no advice because I think in one way or another we all go through this. And you just have to push through. Weddings make people bat-shit crazy.
I’m so sorry, you can sob on my shoulder anytime. PM if you ever need to vent, I have a FMIL who drives me crazy on the daily.
Post # 6
Poor you. If it’s any consolation, I’m sure that the party will be a success, plates or no plates, desserts or no desserts, _____ or no _____. Fill in the blanks, it’s still true. Hang in there.
Post # 7
thanks, guys, i know this is a stupid thing to be so upset about, but everyone has such strong opinions about the most inane things! and they like to throw temper tantrums if it doesn’t go their way. IT’S A FREAKING CUP OF COFFEE.
Post # 8
Ha. Get a Keurig or Nespresso machine. Let guests make their own coffee at a “coffee bar.” 😉
I’m sorry! i”m sure it will be a great time once you get there.
Post # 9
@Mrs. Meowerson: I have a pushy mom and FMIL too. Sorry you’re dealing with all of that stress.
Can you tell your mom and FMIL to pick up the slack on all this extra planning they are insisting on? If it were me, and I know everyone’s family relationships are different, I would be saying something along the lines of “If you want to add all these extra things that’s fine, but you need to call the caterer then, here’s the number….” Then I would probably also let her know that she’s driving me crazy and making a special occaision annoying and unbearable, and that I don’t even want to come anymore. LOL But, my mom and I fight like that and get over it 10 min later. My family is very emotional.
Post # 10
@Mrs. Meowerson: ((hugs to you!)) That’s got to be so frustrating. I agree with the PPs, some things you just have to roll with, even when they’re making the simplest of parties a complete PITA. I would do like the PP above me stated, and give them the info to the caterer and let them know that if they want x,y, and z (and ONLY those things, don’t give free reign) then they need to arrange it. Just call your caterer and tell them you’re authorizing only xyz, and if FMIL calls to discuss the details and that she is the one to do the pickup/dropoff, etc.
The wedding is about two families, but as long as you’re inviting them both, you’re good in my eyes. I don’t think that they should be able to pushy and change your party plans due to the way they’d prefer to do it…they can throw a dessert and coffee shower for you. ((hugs again, I’m riled up for you!))