Social Anxiety

posted 2 years ago in Wellness
Post # 2
Member
2313 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

If I was invited to a social event where the only person I knew was the guest of honour then I would consider long and hard about whether I would go…factors including how close I was to them and what was going on. 

I know a lot of people would say that its important to make an effort with others and I would agree…but if you are the one on your own I feel it is more imporant for those in the group to be welcoming and then for you to reciprocate. Or if you are bold and make a move to get to know them then they should make you feel welcome and included.

As someone who has been and still is on outside of these situations I do make a conscious effort to talk to those on the fringes because I know how it feels….it’s a very lonely place to be and you wonder what’s wrong with you.

I think if you are always someone who is included in the centre of things it may be difficult to appreciate those on the outside, especially if you aren’t empathetic in that way. 

Post # 3
Member
488 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

The fact that you even went to the shower knowing that you wouldn’t know anyone is awesome – you put yourself out there because your friend is special to you.

Therapy might help. I think most people would feel awkward in this situation, but the inner voice saying that people are judging you is definitely something you can work on.

The tone of your post is quite self-deprecating e.g. “two very nice girls who took pity on me” – what if they genuinely thought you looked like a lovely person and wanted to chat with you? And talking about your “dumb hairstyle” is just .. I don’t know, it makes me feel sad. It’s not a dumb hairstyle, it’s your hairstyle, and it’s lovely because you chose it.

You are as beautiful and worthy as anyone else in the world, and what other people think of you is none of your business 🙂 

Post # 4
Member
2151 posts
Buzzing bee

NurseKaoru:  Hey, you went so that’s huge! Do you feel anxiety in situations where you do know everyone? If not, it sounds like this is a pretty normal feeling. I’m very introverted (but not shy), I feel fine if I know people and it’s a fairly small group- but I would also feel anxiety in the situation that you described. I try to remind myself that most likely no one is looking at you. People are usually mostly thinking about themselves, so when you feel like people are staring or judging- remind yourself that it’s mostly in your own head. 

Post # 5
Member
1249 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I am sorry you felt awkward. It takes a lot of guts to go to an intimate gathering not knowing anyone. Good for you!

I consider myself very good in social situations. And, while I have felt awkward at times, I’ve realized it is only as awkward as you make it.

If you are ever in a similar situation, I have found it easiest to talk to people in the very beginning. Break the ice by complimenting their dress, scarf, purse, hair etc. Then be honest and say you don’t know anyone, and ask if you could sit by them. 

Side note: you don’t need therapy. You need a hug!  ::hugs::

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