Post # 1
Alright, I don’t know what etiquette is or who is supposed to being doing what with wedding parties… so help me out ladies!
I know my Mom wants to throw me an egagement party in California (where she lives… I and my FI live in Ohio). She says she wants to invite all of her friends that she knows won’t fly out for the wedding (subsequently, she’s told me not to invite them). I know *gasp* she wants to have people at the engagement party that aren’t invited to the wedding! I kind of doubt it’s going to come together…just getting us to CA could be a problem. She’s also not the most organized person in the world….so, I’m not counting on her to make it happen. I know she would be going against etiquette with her guest list…plus I don’t really know those people either (my family live in TN…so do most of the BMs).
I’d like to have an egagement party in Ohio, but…who on earth puts it together? Would it be weird if we just threw one for ourselves? Is that the norm or what?
Do you have engagement parties? …. Maybe I should just throw a party…without a title… so it’s less confusing?
(Seriously, bees, I don’t know what I would do without the boards!).
Post # 3
We almost threw our own in NYC, it was going to be an engagement beer tasting party for local friends and family. But when we contacted some venues and realized just how expensive it is that idea was thrown out the window. Our apartment is absolutely not big or nice enough to have a decent party either and we weren’t willing to spend several thousand dollars (every venues minimum) for just a couple of hours.
Post # 4
Yeah, we have a house together already (Living in sin joke here). We kind of have the space for a small-ish party (30-50 people), but we wouldn’t want to spend $1000 either. A friend we’re inviting to the wedding is also a caterer of sorts too, but I’d hate to ask her to do work when I want her to have fun!
Post # 5
We threw our engagement party – bridal party and family live far away – for our friends and basically said it’s an engagement party but gifts are not expected. It really just turned out to be a cookout at our house with our friends, which was awesome for us.
I think as long as you don’t make it about gifts then it’s okay to do it yourself 🙂
Post # 6
@staceynrick: I also had a friend who lives in a really nice building with an ‘event’ space and I felt bad asking her to reserve it for my party, I didn’t want to take advantage. But I honestly had no problem throwing my own engagement party, it was going to have the beer tasting theme and we were going to hire an expert to do the tastings and everything.
Post # 7
@moderndaisy: Hmm….well, we were considering starting to home brew. We actually live right behind a brew supply store. I wonder if we could do something along your beer theme. The guys at the store were really awesome and helpful, I’m sure they could give us some suggestions. My FI is really into doing a pig roast…but that’s $400. We don’t have that kind of money to throw around!
I’ll have to think on this. If it’s just finger food and home brew, we could probably do something small. I don’t think we would be able to call it an official engagement party though without inviting more of the wedding guests and my FIs family.
Gifts definitely aren’t the goal, so we might just end up throwing a party for us.
Post # 8
I think the whole idea that someone is suppose to “throw it for you” is kind of stupid. No one I know or am close to has the time or organizational skills to do it. It’s been five months into our engagement and today I decided to plan my own. Having it at my future in laws house since it’s bigger than our house and we’re going to play pool in their basement with some friends and family. I guess it’s just a regular house party but we are having it to celebrate our love!
Post # 9
ya i would do it if i wanted to! Have people over and bring in some food! Why not it is a great reason to celebrate!!
Post # 10
Fiance and I threw it ourselves. It was a really great informal time!
Post # 11
- Wedding: June 2011 - Calgary Opera Centre
I’m glad you asked that question, because I’m feeling the same way. There’s tons of people here that I would invite, but I don’t think anyone who would spontaneously say “I’m going to throw you guys an engagement party!”
Post # 12
I WISH I threw my own, but never did…. DO IT!!!! This is the one time in life you get to celebrate this… don’t let it slip away like I did!
Post # 13
I agree, my mom hosted oen for us (for out families and a few close friends) and we are having one of our own for our friends too. We are taking care of the planning and hosting it at our house but we had my MOH listed as the RSVP (for those who might think it is weird thatwe would host for ourselves) she lives out of town so it seemed natural to do it at our place.
Post # 14
If you truely want an “etiquette” answer – then the answer is no, you don’t throw your own engagement party unless you are using it to announce your engagement. But “etiquette” seems to be antiquated in some circles.