So…how long did it take DH/SO to be ready for kids?

posted 3 years ago in TTC
  • poll: How long after you guys got together was DH/SO ready to start trying for kids?
    Since day 1 : (9 votes)
    10 %
    About a month into our relationship : (0 votes)
    Six months : (3 votes)
    3 %
    A year : (8 votes)
    9 %
    2 years : (11 votes)
    13 %
    3 years : (13 votes)
    15 %
    4 years : (4 votes)
    5 %
    5 years : (7 votes)
    8 %
    6 years : (7 votes)
    8 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    10384 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    We are both emotionally ready, but waiting so that we can travel and save more money. We won’t be TTC until about 7 years after we started dating/5 years after marriage most likely. But, it isn’t me waiting around for him to be ready. It’s a joint decision about the level of readiness.

    Post # 4
    Member
    491 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2015

    @candy11:  we aren’t married yet and we haven’t agreed on when we’re going to start trying, but FI keeps talking about a honeymoon baby haha. I don’t think he’s joking… makes sense though because he’s already in his early 30’s.

    Oh and I voted two years because by the time we get married we will have been together over 2 years.

    Post # 5
    Member
    2534 posts
    Sugar bee

    We got married in June 2012. We’re planning to start TTCing in the spring next year. We would love to do it sooner but I went back to school and won’t be done until then. DH is on board with the timeline and often talks about all the fun things he wants to do with our future kiddies!

     

    Post # 7
    Member
    2720 posts
    Sugar bee

    No vote for me! We started dating in May 2008 and got married in April 2013. I always thought 3 years after getting married but I’m just not sure anymore. For the first time in our relationship, we both have incomes and it’s so nice. We’re going to Costa Rica and Ireland together in 2014 and I’m taking a girl’s cruise later on in the year. My older sister has two kids and she can’t do any of this stuff.

    I’m still too selfish and lazy think about kids right now. 

    ETA Oh didn’t answer your question, he’s ready when I’m ready – that was our agreement. He is indifferent about having children so it’s up to me to decide. 

     

    Post # 8
    Member
    416 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    I said 5 years, but age and careers had a lot to do with it.  We were together for three years before we got married, but we were both in school, living off student loans, and obviously not in a position to make any major financial or time commitments.  Two years later, we were pregnant, but in that time we graduated, got jobs, bought a house, got a dog, and got into a position where we felt we were financially and emotionally ready to become parents. 

    If we had met now, I don’t think it would’ve taken five years, because we would’ve been secure sooner.  If we had met in high school or college, it probably would’ve taken longer because we would’ve been so young.

    Post # 10
    Member
    2720 posts
    Sugar bee

    @candy11:  That’s a nice thought but strictly using my sister as an example, she takes one trip a year and it’s really not to anywhere exciting (like to her in-laws house which she hates going to). I would rather get a lot in now before I have kids and then go to the kid friendly places later. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    11772 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    When we were on one our first dates (together for a month or two?), DH said “You know, a child would not destroy my life right now. I’m not saying I want one tomorrow, but I could comfortably afford one at this point in my life”

    Which was apparently Man Code for “I see a future with you AND I make lots of money” (He told me later)

    Then when we got engaged, he said “Just so you know, I want to put a baby in you on the wedding night.”

    So he was mentally ready for a child at that point, but we waited until the wedding night to TTC! (And we did get pregnant on our honeymoon!)

     

    Post # 14
    Member
    3280 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    We started dating at 17/18 and will be married next year at 21/22. We’ve agreed to start TTC in fall 2015, which will be 5 years after dating and one year after marriage. We have a few goals such as both graduating, increasing our savings, traveling a bit and doing some renevations to our house before TTC. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    614 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I voted 7 years. We’ll start trying this fall, which is 2 years after marriage, 7 3/4 years after dating.

    Post # 16
    Member
    1102 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I’m six months older than FH, I’m turning 28 next month. 

    I don’t know if he’s ‘ready’ or not, but he says we’re not financially ready to try for another 18 months :(. Which makes me think he’s not emotionally/mentally ready either because it takes the average couple so long to actually FALL pregnant, then the pregnancy is another 9 months after that. So in my mind we really could be trying sooner, but any discussion on this issue leads to arguments. So… taking a step back for the next little while 🙂

    Leave a comment


    Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

    Find Amazing Vendors