Post # 1
hey.. this isn’t really related to my actual wedding, but you guys have been so helpful with suggestions for our wedding, I thought you guys would have some helpful tips. My fiance is currently serving in Afghanistan and will be returning home this summer. I want to have a coming home party with our family and friends. I haven’t really got into planning yet, but I think we will have it outside with lots of BBQ and beer. I was hoping to get some ideas from you ladies.. nothing in particular just general ideas on what I could do.
Post # 3
@KCbride11: I just wanted to comment & say how exciting this is! My husband is also serving in Afghanistan but won’t be home until the end of the year. I hope the time he has left goes by quickly for you!!
Post # 4
I am so happy for you! Yay! Will your party be the same day he comes home? My cousin’s FI is planning a huge backyard BBQ at our family’s lake house. It will be a surprise party with all his friends, relatives, comrades the day he arrives home. I can’t wait! I have a ton of baking to do for it. The kids are all making a huge banner and I believe someone said they were roasting a pig.
Hope the time passes quickly for you. 😀
Post # 5
Hey there! My FI just got home from Afghanistan a few months ago, so this is fairly fresh. My best advice is to do what he wants, but don’t over plan. Don’t have a big party the day after he gets back. There’s several reasons for that: 1) He’ll be exhausted, like passing out in the car on the way home, no joke. 2) It’s going to be overwhelming and maybe too much of a good thing. 3) He probabaly won’t want to talk about deployment 24/7 which is what everyone at the party will want to talk about.
I’d give it time and maybe a week or two into being home have the get together. Do it on a small scale with only close family/friends and if you can maybe schedule visits with other people when you get around to it. Remember that some things do change while they’re over there. It’s not necessarily a terrible thing, but it’s a fact of time. He become anxious/hypervigilant in crowds where he can’t see what everyone is doing with their hands, for example or other things. You just don’t want to (with all the good intent in the world) push him into something that makes him uncomfortable, ya know? My FI still has a thing about bags and debris on the side of the road. He doesn’t panic or anything, but it makes him uneasy. You just can’t predict something like that.
When my FI got home it was just me and him and we took a little trip to the grand canyon so we could get away and be by ourselves. He wanted peace and some solitude and I couldn’t wait to see him and have him all to myself.
You really just don’t want to push it and my advice is to run everything by him and don’t plan too much in advance. Let him dictate the schedule once he is home and getting acclimiated again.
Enjoy having home home!! It’s something incredible and it’s that one moment that makes the deployment worth it. I hope the rest of deployment flies by!
Post # 6
I agree completely 100% with Thursdays Child. Let him readjust before you get him around a group of people unless HE suggests it.
Post # 7
Post # 8
@Mrs. Menard to Be :
**Congratulations to you both and thank you both for your sacrifice and for the sacrifice of your loved ones! I honestly can’t give you any advice on this because I haven’t been in the situation of it being my FI, but I have had close friends and relatives and come home — and for the first while they’re back, they’re normally quiet and a little more reserved.
My FI is intending on enlisting, so I will probably be asking for this same time of help in the years to come, but I will be as supportive as I can be!
Again — Thank you both and good luck!
Post # 9
@thursdayschild: I totally agree!
Wanting to throw a party for him is totally sweet, but maybe wait until he’s home, so you can ask when he would like it? When my Mr got back from sea, all he wanted was a bath and a dominoes! But you know him better than anyone else, so I’m sure you’ll get it right!
Post # 10
Thanks ladies for your advice. I know my fiance wants to have one. He’s really excited to be home and know he doesn’t have to go back. There will be a huge welcome home ceremony when they arrive at their base. We will probably get a hotel that night, so we can have some time alone. Then the next evening we are planning on having his own welcome home with close friends and family. It will be low key with lots of food and beer and I know that in itself will satisfy him. 😉 I got a welcome home banner, but I wanted to do something special.. I just don’t really have any ideas.
Mrs. Menard to Be– Thank you! I have to say this deployment has went by pretty fast for the both of us. We’re just ready for it to be over! I hope the remainder of yours is smooth and uneventful! 🙂
secondchances– We are going to have ours the following evening so we can have some time alone! I wish your soldier and family the best!
thursdayschild– Thank you for your advice. I’ve already had a dose of what returning is like and he has done so well with the deployment. Mentally and physically he is doing really well especially considering being in a combat zone. He talks about the deployment constantly. It’s really done a lot of good things for him… of course there are always things that are not so great but you have to take the good with the bad. He is very lucky, as I know many people do not share the same characteristics as they return. Your advice is great, and it’s so important to think of your solider and THEIR feelings/emotions at all times. I know it is easy to get caught up in the excitement, but its really important for all of us to make sure we are always thinking of the situation our soldier is in. 🙂
Showers– Ha dominoes! Thats too cute! I know the importance of a good shower. My fiance was in a remote location and when they arrived for several months they didn’t have any showers or running water of any kind. yuck.
Post # 11
Everyone says signs– depends on what he likes.
Honestly, I brought him a jack and coke, and a plain coke zero–both icy cold. Any myself. That’s all I brought. He ended up not drinking the alcohol but was really happy he finally *could.*
The first day back usually wants to play video games, drink beer, and eat pizza. We make pizza, get beer, and sometimes he even gets around to the video games.
Post # 12
I am so excited for you!!! My FI is currently in Iraq and will be returning home at the end of this summer too.. I agree with PPs, my FI is content with just doing absolutely nothing when he gets home.. I don’t know about other situations, but I know that when he was home on R&R, he felt uncomfortable being around large groups of people and would’ve rather it just been the two of us.. A BBQ sounds like a lot of fun, but maybe after a few weeks of him being home, to give him time to just settle back into everything and enjoy being back with you?