Solve this etiquette dilemma once and for all – inviting the boss?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
3735 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@MrsNewDay:  Subscribing to follow this topic…  I am a director at my company and have attended many weddings as “the boss” which I happily attended if I liked the person or bowed out of if I had no interest. Now that my wedding is coming up, I’m in the same boat as you… do I invite MY boss or no? I probably will invite him but am curious to see what advice the Bees have.

Post # 4
9525 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I love my boss. We get along very well. We occasionally talk about personal things but don’t ever socialize outside work. However, she is not the most social of people and big crowds and lots of craziness makes her uncomfortable (I work in a lab, what can I say?). So i did not invite her. She would not have had fun. And I don’t want to worry about how I look in front of my boss on my wedding day. I can’t imagine that she feels slighted about not being invited. I did invite some of my other coworkers and am glad that I did.

Post # 5
2615 posts
Sugar bee

I would never invite my boss unless the relationship is more than a strictly professional one. 

Post # 6
6158 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

@MrsNewDay:  i did not invite anyone who i work with, boss or coworker.  i have been at my job for 5 years.  i am close with them at work, i’ve gone to happy hours after work. but i did not want to invite one person and not others so i invited none.

i never heard of being required to invite your boss.

Post # 7
666 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I did not invite my current boss.  He has not been my boss all that long, and we are rarely in contact at work.  On a personal level I don’t care much for him and have no desire to socialize with him outside of the office.

After the fact I’m glad I didn’t.  When he asked me where my wedding had been and I told him, he made some comments about how ritzy/expensive the place was.  The place really was right around the same in cost as most wedding places in my town, plus its none of his business what it cost.  It made me think he was judging what I was earning or something, which is not necessarily applicable since our parents could have paid or whatever.

I might have invited my former boss if she was still my boss.  I worked closer with her and actually liked her on a personal basis.  I don’t think I would have gotten snide comments about expenses or whatever from her.

I think it is not required or expected to invite the boss unless it’s a very small office or work group and you are close to them.  Or if you invite the rest of the office, then I’d say invite the boss as well.


Post # 8
2649 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@MrsNewDay:  Work relationships are not social relationships. If you are not friends outside of work, there is no need or obligation to invite your boss to a very personal event.

I didnt invite my boss.

Post # 9
1491 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Work != personal life. Unless my company is super cool, I don’t cross them. I wouldn’t invite my boss unless we had a personal relationship outside of work.

Post # 11
20 posts
  • Wedding: October 2014

“Your Boss: Although it may seem awkward not to invite your boss, it may be even more awkward to invite him or her, especially if no one else from work is on your guest list. While etiquette once dictated that your boss was a must-invite, I say it depends on your office culture, the size of your team, and how comfortable you feel around your boss in general. Your wedding is intimate, no matter how many guests you have, and you want to feel at ease.

Plenty of online advice and different opinions. But most of which depend on the BRIDE or GROOMS relationship and comfort level with their boss.

But this is probably the best advice: Think of the most embarassing or most intimate thing that can happen during your wedding… how comfortable are you knowing your boss will witness that. Actuually that’s a good rule of thumb for ALL your guests period.


Post # 13
2319 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I didn’t invite my supervisor or any of my co-workers.

Post # 15
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Ugh, I’m wrestling with the same dilemma as we speak! Except in my case, my boss does not care for me but I guess the idea of free food and booze appealed to her so she sort of invited herself (actually, what she said was, “I *better* be invited!”). She is literally the LAST person I want at my wedding but she also has the ability to make my life a living Hell, so…

But if I were in your shoes, I would avoid the whole question by not inviting anyone from work unless you’re super-duper close and hang out away from work on a regular basis. I’ve never heard of the tradition that your boss *must* be invited to your wedding, so if you don’t want to, then don’t!

Post # 16
6812 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

Every wedding I’ve been to has had coworkers and bosses invited. I thought it was sort of a given.

Leave a comment

Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors