Post # 1
I’m venting on behalf of my Future Sister In Law. I was on the phone with her for the past hour and need to share the jist of the conversation. Some background…My Future Sister In Law is 34, married, has three small children, and works part-time as a nurse. She and her husband live a comfortable life and provide the best they can for their family. They are not poor and they are not rich.
MY Future Sister-In-Law is in two weddings this year, ours and her best friend of twenty-five years. When she accepted her best friends invitation to be a bridesmaid, her brother and I were not yet engaged. Not that that would have changed her mind. However, since she has been married for ten years, I don’t think my Future Sister-In-Law is aware of the costs associated with today’s weddings, especially showers. She thought $200 for the bff’s shower would have been asequate for a brunch at a nice restaurant (the restaurant her brother and I are actually getting married at). How silly of her! Apparently Future Sister-In-Law was WAY off base.
Do you know how much the maid of honor (sister of the bride, who is her late 30s, and pretty well off) is asking per bridesmaid? Are you ready for this? Are you sure? OK, she is asking $525 per bridesmaid for a brunch package. There are 5 bridesmaids. And this brunch package does not include soda, iced tea, lemonade, or alcohol. That is extra. And no that does not include a gift from the bridesmaids. That’s another $100 per bridesmaid. So $625 for the bridal shower.
The Maid/Matron of Honor has so graciously offered to pay for the letterpressed invitations. And another bridesmaid has so generously offered to pay for the centerpieces. The Mother of the Bride is picking up the tab for favors, a mimosa fountain and the soda package. I ask you bees, when did showers become so elaborate? Or are yours not as ridiculous?
Clearly my Future Sister-In-Law emailed the Maid/Matron of Honor back and said she cannot afford to spend that much money on a shower. We are anxiously awaiting the MOH’s response. We can only imagine what she’ll say.
Post # 3
What DOES it include? And for how many people? It kinda sounds like a rip-off. If you can’t afford something you can’t afford it. She has three kids. Priorities.
Post # 4
In some circles, I am sure that is just a drop in the bucket, but for me, it would be way to much to spend. My girls are taking me out for dinner, drinks, and maybe some dancing. I am sure it won’t cost near as much as your friends. I just think that is way to much to ask.
Post # 5
That is a bit crazy! Uhm, No thanks!!!
Post # 6
That is simply beyond the pale. I don’t know how people think it’s acceptable to demand that from a bridesmaid. Hell, I think it’s rude to demand ANY kind of shower, much less one that costs hundreds per bridesmaid. That’s crazycakes right there.
Post # 7
WOW! That’s craziness. What kind of brunch is THAT going to be? Will there be gold speckles in the mimosas?
Post # 8
Im already stressed about having my girls pay for dresses and the normal wedding expenses…i cant imagine asking or being asked to spend that much. that is absolutely ridiculous.
Post # 9
Seriously. Some people think they need showers and weddings that could be taking place at Versailles.
Post # 10
Um, my rehearsal dinner at a swanky sushi restaurant in the most expensive neighborhood in San Diego – WITH OPEN BAR – cost $2500 for 36 people. There is no way a brunch should be costing the same amount without drinks included. I’d have to back out if I were her, if only because I think it’s out of control.
(Oh, and my shower was a dessert extravaganza at a fancy dessert place in Boston with my 7 closest friends that set my SIL back a whopping $175….total. That’s much easier to stomach for me!)
Post # 11
My mom and Mother-In-Law graciously picked up the entire tab for the bridal shower (the maids did the bachelorette) – but it was only a luncheon at my MIL’s house. Sandwiches, potato salad, and jello shots kind of thing.
I hope that bride is planning a super elaborate wedding – can you imagine your shower being fancier than the wedding? Eesh.
Post # 12
IMO this is so ridiculous to spend that much money on. I would think there are more important things people and myself could spend that money on. And for someone to actually think people have that kind of money to just throw around is so self centered and spoiled.
What happened to just getting together with close friends and family to have a fun shower? I mean Jesus I am not in my 30se so its not like I have been going to showers for that long but within the past 10 years I have noticed a change in how these kind of events are planned.
Post # 13
What happened to the day of showers at someones house with food drinks and lame games? Personally I don’t even want a shower I find them completely pointless
Post # 14
I know my Future Sister-In-Law will be happy to hear that there are some level headed people out there. I would like to state for the record that the Bride to Be is not demanding anything and probably has no idea how much this is costing.
As far as what the brunch includes, IMO it is a rip-off. OJ, Assorted bagels, muffins, danish, a fresh fruit display, scrambled eggs, sausage, bacon, french toast, roasted potatoes, a chicken entree, salad, pasta, and silver dollar pancakes. The cost is $37 per head, with a 50 guest minimum.
Yes, everyone has different financial circumstances. For some $625 for a bridal shower is a drop in the hat. For others, it’s an unreasonable amount. The complaint Future Sister-In-Law has is that the Maid/Matron of Honor never once aske for input from the Bridesmaids. Never got a budget. She just assumed that everyone would be OK with this.
And on top of the shower, she is also planning a blow out bachelorette party at one of the swankiest restaurants in Philadelphia, which should most likely cost around $400 per bridesmaid. If this does come about, Future Sister-In-Law is saying she can’t go and will take the Bride to Be out by herself.
Sorry ladies, I’m all fired up tonight. I’ve just dealt with too many ridiculous people this weekend.
Post # 15
I’m organizing my friend’s shower, and I always thought they were just held in someone’s home with cutesy decorations and sandwiches. After I offered to host it, her Maid/Matron of Honor told me they have an absolutely huge family so the guestlist will be large and then she asked me where I was holding it. I’m thinking it’s going to be a lot more expensive than I was planning, too :(.
But what your Future Sister-In-Law is up against is just absurd!
Post # 16
Safe to say I wouldn’t be attending that shower. So expensive!