(Closed) someone accused him of cheating. VENT!

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
2742 posts
Sugar bee

Um, okay. Gossip happens. Mistakes were made. I don’t think his mum believed anything, that’s why she asked and he told her the truth. She believed him and that’s the end of that. Do not start on a horrible footing with your FSIL. It’s water under the bridge.

Post # 4
Member
389 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I agree with bRooklynRocks. No offense but it seems like your blowing this out of proportion. Take a chill pill, realize that you would only be making things worse if you make an issue out of this.

Post # 5
Member
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Seems like the confusion was cleared up really easily. I think you should just let it pass, since everyone’s on the same page again.

Post # 6
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I would be pissed about the gossip, but really this voltaire guy is just making himself look stupid for trying to stir up drama and controversy where there is none. If you believe your FI didn’t cheat, then just let it pass.

Post # 7
Member
1166 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Ummmm…. and why do you care?

Post # 8
Member
68 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I understand completely where you are coming from…I would be furious if this type of rumor was floating around the family…and that his family would quickly jump on the “spread the word – so and so is a cheater” bandwagon would also upset me. stay strong eliwhit it should blow over soon! 😀

Post # 10
Member
966 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

One of my brother’s co-workers told my brother that my dad was cheating on our mom.  My brother was vaguely concerned, but called to find out the real story.  “What day was this?” “Last Thursday.”  “Was the woman blond?” “Yes…” “Was Dad in the library van?” “Yes.”  “That was Anita, the assistant director.  He was training her on the courier route.”  My brother laughed.  A lot.

The guy was probably worried for you.  You knew the real story.  Just know that your guy couldn’t get away with cheating if he wanted to. 🙂

Post # 11
Member
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

Sorry about the gossip, especially since your FI is a pastor!  That must have been hard to hear.

Post # 12
Member
601 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I’m a very confrontational person. I would have gone to his sister and asked her why she couldn’t have asked your FI himself. Why did SHE have to go and make it a big deal. You are not doing that. I think you have every right to be upset. It sounds like his sister likes to start crap.

Post # 13
Member
296 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I would be upset about this too. But you know the truth so don’t worry about it!

Post # 14
Member
130 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@eliwhit: I agree with many of the ladies on this thread; as some of them wrote, try and let it become water under the bridge.

Honestly, you have to choose your battles and this to be honest… doesn’t sound like one of them. No doubt, it was an akward and un-needed situation… nobody enjoys mis-communication. Yes, some gasoline was thrown on the floor and maybe the room smells a little like gas… but don’t be the one holding the match.

Best thing you can do is allow all parties to realize the truth (which you know) and let the dust settle. In the end, don’t let the un-needed drama sneak and grow into a blazing fire.

At least that’s my suggestion! Hope all gets better for you.

Mr Coffee

Post # 15
Member
200 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

omg this is so funny.  I am from a small town and this stuff happens all the time.  Sometimes I hear stuff about me, like I am pregnant again, I abandoned my child (I have never been pregnant or had a child), I am addicted to crack.  I moved to Europe.  None of these things are true of course.  It is just the joys of living in a small town.  This one that happened to you is pretty harmless and funny once everything is explained.

Post # 16
Member
104 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

This stinks, because I think it kind of sets a negative tone in terms of communication for everyone all-around. It is understandable to be upset, but I can think of situations that have happened to me or friends where the situation could have easily gone the other way. For instance, when people know of an illness, job loss, etc., but never get around to letting the important people know for fear of their reactions. I guess the positive here is that fairly quickly, people who care about and are close to you and your fiance got to the bottom of the situation, and didn’t actually let the gossip continue or worse-spread. Maybe they were trying to be helpful in the least confrontational way. I would just gently let all parties involved know in the future they can always feel safe and comfortable coming to you and your husband directly, as you want them to voice their concerns or other important news to you, rather than through others. My guess is they were so worried they felt like they HAD to tell someone, but probably were trying not to hurt you. My guess is even if it seems short-sighted, they probably had very good intentions!

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