(Closed) Someone help remind me why I don’t just elope

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Hostess
11299 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@Lifecoachtraci: I hear ya, I’ve felt like having a LDW. But the reason why I didn’t do it abroad was because I want to have my family and freinds there, which I know wouldn’t necessarily be possible if we had a LDW. Every wedding has some sort of family drama… unfortunately.

Post # 4
Member
4313 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I eloped & it was awesome =D But, it’s a personal preference, and if you think a bigger wedding will be worth it in the end, then you need to focus on that to get you through. Buuuuuuuut…if you could see yourself being okay without friends and family, maybe you should reconsider 😉

Post # 5
Member
2891 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Hang in there. Weddings do seem to bring out the worst in some people.  Don’t let it get to you. Looking back on your wedding day you (hopefully) will be glad you didn’t elope. LOL In ten years this drama will be the stuff of funny stories. Like my mom was determined to wear a rhinestone encrusted bathing suit and crinkle skirt to my garden wedding. My mom isn’t small either! I can laugh about it now but it made me bawl then. There always is drama. Partly I think because they want to steal the spotlight. You two are the stars of this show. Go on and shine!

Post # 6
Member
410 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Okay I will give it a shot. Most of our parents want to have some say in our wedding plans however I think you’re doing a fair share of your FMIL’s wishes and she needs to realize that this day is about what YOU and your fiance want. I know it sucks that she is hurting your fiance in the process but we have to realize and somehow be okay with the fact that we can’t make everybody happy 100% of the time. You don’t want to look back at your special day and realize it wasn’t anything you had wanted. If your wedding turns out just like you hoped, you’re going to be happy about that and not care that she was upset about certain aspects. In the end….she’ll get over it. If she chooses not to come to the wedding because of it I guess that is a decision your fiance needs to come to terms with.

As for your friend, she’s just being overly sensitive and I wouldn’t let it bother you too much. I personally have been sensitive lately to a lot of things people are saying to me and the majority of it is simply PMS. It will go away! 🙂  She too has to respect your wishes, it’s your day and if that means you only want a date if it’s a serious one than she has to live with that.

NOW as for why you shouldn’t elope; I’ve thought about the same thing and I have only begun to plan my day however I personally would regret doing so. We only get this chance to plan such a special event once (hopefully) and you deserve to have a great celebration that reflects you and your fiance. You want to share this with the family and friends that aren’t being a pain in the ass and if you elope, they’d all miss out and so would you guys.

A wedding is such an special event and although you still have the same outcome of marriage with eloping you miss out on all the special details. I believe every woman deserves to enjoy the process, a proposal regardless of how it’s presented, a positive experience dress shopping, incorporating personal touches, etc… It’s all part of the process and one we should enjoy. I’ve had a lot of not so pleasant experiences so far but I’m focusing on the great ones!! I want to ENJOY this time because before you know it the wedding will be over. You want to have pictures to look back at and know you shared the day with everyone that loves you!!

I hope everything gets better for you. I know it’s hard but try to let others comments and desires go in one ear and out the other. Make it what you and your fiance want and you wont be disappointed!

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