Post # 1
People are so obnoxious when it comes to weddings. I’m excited to be marrying the man I love and wanted a wedding to share that love and happiness with our friends and family. However, the closer it gets to the wedding, the more obnoxious people are being. Sometimes it makes me wish we could just elope and not have to deal with anyone but ourselves.
A huge culprit is my FMIL who suddenly became the most religious person on earth. Although we are having a completely jewish ceremony including a rabbi, ketubah, chuppah, hebrew, etc – she thinks we are having too catholic of a wedding by not having the food be completely kosher. Well none of us keep kosher and his mom is like ready to protest the wedding over this. She also hates that my parents are paying for the wedding as she feels we should be paying for it all ourselves. She is ready to not come to the wedding in protest of this and many other things. It kills me how much she hurts my fiancee when she kicks him out of mothers day over fights like these.
Another big culprit is a good friend of mine. You would think her being such a good friend since college would make her be happy for me. But no, each week she calls me up to complain about something else I said wrong. First it was that when she asked if she would be allowed to bring a date, I said well it depends if you’re dating anyone seriously at the time, it’s not like I want anyone to bring someone off the street of something. I meant it as a joke and if anyone knows me at all it’s obvious this is a joke, but she was offended I felt she would bring someone off the street. I know this all steams from her own insecurities about her relationships and dating life but it’s getting to the point of being ridiculous.
Between those 2 and so much more I’m ready to just revoke their invitations or run away and have it be just the two of us. I still have 6 months to go. Someone please talk me down!
Post # 3
@Lifecoachtraci: I hear ya, I’ve felt like having a LDW. But the reason why I didn’t do it abroad was because I want to have my family and freinds there, which I know wouldn’t necessarily be possible if we had a LDW. Every wedding has some sort of family drama… unfortunately.
Post # 4
I eloped & it was awesome =D But, it’s a personal preference, and if you think a bigger wedding will be worth it in the end, then you need to focus on that to get you through. Buuuuuuuut…if you could see yourself being okay without friends and family, maybe you should reconsider 😉
Post # 5
Hang in there. Weddings do seem to bring out the worst in some people. Don’t let it get to you. Looking back on your wedding day you (hopefully) will be glad you didn’t elope. LOL In ten years this drama will be the stuff of funny stories. Like my mom was determined to wear a rhinestone encrusted bathing suit and crinkle skirt to my garden wedding. My mom isn’t small either! I can laugh about it now but it made me bawl then. There always is drama. Partly I think because they want to steal the spotlight. You two are the stars of this show. Go on and shine!
Post # 6
Okay I will give it a shot. Most of our parents want to have some say in our wedding plans however I think you’re doing a fair share of your FMIL’s wishes and she needs to realize that this day is about what YOU and your fiance want. I know it sucks that she is hurting your fiance in the process but we have to realize and somehow be okay with the fact that we can’t make everybody happy 100% of the time. You don’t want to look back at your special day and realize it wasn’t anything you had wanted. If your wedding turns out just like you hoped, you’re going to be happy about that and not care that she was upset about certain aspects. In the end….she’ll get over it. If she chooses not to come to the wedding because of it I guess that is a decision your fiance needs to come to terms with.
As for your friend, she’s just being overly sensitive and I wouldn’t let it bother you too much. I personally have been sensitive lately to a lot of things people are saying to me and the majority of it is simply PMS. It will go away! 🙂 She too has to respect your wishes, it’s your day and if that means you only want a date if it’s a serious one than she has to live with that.
NOW as for why you shouldn’t elope; I’ve thought about the same thing and I have only begun to plan my day however I personally would regret doing so. We only get this chance to plan such a special event once (hopefully) and you deserve to have a great celebration that reflects you and your fiance. You want to share this with the family and friends that aren’t being a pain in the ass and if you elope, they’d all miss out and so would you guys.
A wedding is such an special event and although you still have the same outcome of marriage with eloping you miss out on all the special details. I believe every woman deserves to enjoy the process, a proposal regardless of how it’s presented, a positive experience dress shopping, incorporating personal touches, etc… It’s all part of the process and one we should enjoy. I’ve had a lot of not so pleasant experiences so far but I’m focusing on the great ones!! I want to ENJOY this time because before you know it the wedding will be over. You want to have pictures to look back at and know you shared the day with everyone that loves you!!
I hope everything gets better for you. I know it’s hard but try to let others comments and desires go in one ear and out the other. Make it what you and your fiance want and you wont be disappointed!
Post # 7
Thank you so much. It makes me feel better just to vent and know that other people can relate. I’m so thrilled that the people I love for the most part are supportive and I’m going to try not to get caught up in the few that aren’t.