Someone not invited and creating drama… What to do?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
2179 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2024

Hmm this is a tough situation. I would normally say no because just like your thinking you don’t want them to know they are B list guests. However in this situation it seems like she’s really fishing for an invitation from you guys through her brothers since both of them have now mentioned it. So I would give her a break and throw her an invite, let her take it however she likes. I mean she’s been kind of rude fishing for the invite so I don’t think it’s rude of you to now send it…she has to know she’s a B list guest.

Post # 4
1018 posts
Bumble bee

@MrsNewDay:  The way it sounds to me is that when they had family event they invited your FI (and you) as a friend of the family. Did they ever invite your FI’s whole family?

So now that it’s your turn, you’re inviting the ones you are close with, not the whole family. I would just let them get over it and not invite them.

If you do want to invite them, or you think it’ll strain the relationship with the two brothers and your FI, maybe call up the sister and let her know that you had no idea she’d WANT to come, but would delighted to have her? (I don’t know if that is proper etiquette or not though.)

Post # 5
4441 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

@MrsNewDay:  Personally I would just let it go, the sister will get over it.  It sounds like they invited EVERYONE to her wedding and that is not the wedding you two are having.

Post # 6
3596 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Yeah it’s simple ignore it. It sounds like the brothers are still coming.  You heard she wants to come your Fi give a reasonable answer, even though it was rude of them to ask. The situation is over. Also if he doesn’t want to be close to the extended family stop accepting invites, and focus on the two friends.

Post # 7
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

It’s not like you are having a huge wedding.  Leave your guest list as is.  She will have to get over it.  She was probably pressured to invite you to her wedding so she feels like you should be pressured to invite her.  Her brothers can report back to her that it was indeed a very small wedding.

Post # 9
3596 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@MrsNewDay:  That is a good idea, and really your fi handled himself really well. It’s so rude to put someone on the spot like that and question decisions for a very personal event.


Leave a comment

Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors