- 4 years ago
- Wedding: November 2013
When organizing our guest list and sending out invites, I have tried to avoid as many etiquette faux pas as possible and prayed to keep the drama on the low. However, you cannot control people, and now we have a situation.
1. My FI is friends with two guys that he’s grown up with. They are brothers and part of a big family. The family would always invite my FI to events growing up, and my FI would go. Recently, he’s brought me along.
2. The dad in the family is a hard-core Catholic and very judgmental (not a bash to Catholicism! I’m lapsed Catholic myself – just want to paint the picture) despite some sinful events happening in his own family. Whenever I see him, “If you live in a glass house, don’t throw stones” comes to mind. Lately, my FI wasn’t really a big fan of him b/c the dad was against my FI and I living together before marriage and would be very vocal about it.
3. My FI and I were invited to his daughter’s (the sister of the two brother friends) wedding earlier this year. We accepted the invitation graciously and went. Keep in mind, that we went out of politeness b/c the family considers my FI close (my FI doesn’t consider them that close especially after being chastised for living together before marriage). My FI is NOT friends with the sister – just friendly acquiantances. He’s friends with the two brothers.
4. When we sent out our invites, we only included the brothers and their respective dates. Since we are having a smaller wedding reception only for friends and family, my FI did not think to include her… and honestly neither one of us thought it would be this huge deal.
5. Apparently, the sister is upset that she was not invited. One of the brothers told my FI this a few weeks ago to which my FI said that it was a small reception really for close friends – not some huge wedding celebration.
6. Then last night, my FI spoke with the other brother, and the other brother said the same thing about the sister. My FI had the same answer for him.
7. Here’s the thing – we can afford to tack on a few more people, but I am aware that mercy invites are a no-no. My FI was like, “Why not say that x and y couldn’t come, hence want to come?” and I was like, “NO! You cannot show B-list status.” However, in this case, it may be too late. :/
8. My FI is thinking about calling the sister this weekend to invite her, but this is such an icky situation. It’s not that we don’t like her – he’s just not friends with her the way he is friends with her brothers. That’s all.
So Bees, have you ever come across something like this? How did you handle it? The budget isn’t the issue – we can always add them. It’s the fact that we were trying to keep it friends/family only as it is a small reception at a restaurant – not a lavish affair. If we want to extend a late invite (RSVP deadline was this October 1st), is there a classy way to word this? Or should we just sweep it under the rug?